Can you think things through? When you do something, do you consider what will happen next?
If
you hit your hand with a hammer, it will hurt. If you scream at
people, you will not be loved. If you steal cars, you will go to
jail.
If you can think in sequence, you are probably not a
criminal. You can see the consequences of a crime. A criminal
cannot think that far ahead.
"This is a consequence. 'If you saw off the limb you are sitting on you will of course fall.'
"Police
try to bring this home often to people who have no concept of
sequence; so the threat of punishment works well on well-behaved
citizens and not at all on criminals since they often are
criminals because they can't think in sequence." -- L. Ron
Hubbard
For example, a murderer may only think about revenge.
He cannot see beyond the death of the person he hates. He does
not think about living in prison for 50 years.
Smart
people get what they want without crime. Only criminals are
stupid enough to think a crime has no consequences.
For
example, if you want $500, you can just work at a job. Even at
$7.00 per hour, it only takes two weeks to earn $500. You can
spend it however you like, no stress, no secrets, no risks.
A
criminal robs a store for $500 without thinking it through. If
he's not caught right away, he must keep his crime a secret. He
might need to hide. His life is no longer open, happy and trusting. For
just $500, he ruins his life and reduces his chances for success.
A
criminal also fails to see how he or she hurts others. A stolen
car, even when insured, can take months to replace. Stolen money
might represent someone's life savings and ruin their retirement
years. The victims of a violent crime can suffer a lifetime of
pain as the result of the criminal's act.
Street-drug
users can only think about their next high. If they looked
further into the future, they would see damage to their bodies,
financial ruin and failed marriages. Prison time is also a real
possibility; in fact, half of the inmates in US prisons are there for
violating drug laws.
Only when a criminal gets smart and thinks in sequence does he or she stop committing crimes.
Small Crimes
People
who commit small crimes do not think in sequence either. "If I
take a few office supplies, no one will know." This person does
not see the nagging feeling of guilt or the possibility of getting
caught, getting fired and being labeled a criminal. This person does
not see the big risks far outweigh the tiny benefit.
Crimes
against your spouse, friends or family might not lead to jail
time, but can be equally devastating. For example, the sequences
of a sexual affair can lead to disease, blackmail, legal problems
and divorce.
Even lying is a sign of stupid thinking.
People who lie are shocked when no one believes them any longer.
They fail to consider at least three sequences of a lie: you need
to remember your lie for a long time so you do not accidentally
tell the truth; if caught in your lie, you look twice as bad than
if you had just admitted the truth in the first place; lying can also
make you feel guilty and unhappy.
Recommendations
1.
When making a big decision, think in sequence. If you do Plan A,
what are the consequences? If you do Plan B, what are those
consequences?
2. Teach children how to think in sequence.
"If you hit your brother, what might happen? Let's ask him." "If
you don't do your homework, what will happen?" "If you steal
candy from the store, what might happen? What would it be like to
get caught? Let's ask the store manager what would happen."
3.
Talk to criminals about sequences. Help them see the bigger
picture. Get them to practice thinking in sequence. As crime hurts
everyone directly or indirectly, we all increase our chances of
success by helping criminals get smarter.
A Powerful Communication Technique
Why do you like talking to some people more than others? Do some people seem to understand you better than others?
Do you wish people felt more comfortable talking to you? Would you like people to confide in you more often?
If so, you'll like this simple, yet powerful, communication technique.
After someone tells you something, what should you do next? How do you let the person know you heard what he or she said?
"Acknowledgment: Something said or done to inform another that his statement or action has been noted, understood and received. 'Very good,' 'Okay,' and other such phrases are intended to inform another who has spoken or acted that his statement or action has been accepted."
"Acknowledgment itself does not necessarily imply an approval or disapproval or any other thing beyond the knowledge that an action or statement has been observed and is received." -- L. Ron Hubbard
An acknowledgment can be a nod or a smile, a "thank you" or an "okay." It lets the person know that you received his or her communication.
For example, if I ask you for the time and you reply, "It's nine o'clock," how would you know I received your answer if I didn't give you an acknowledgment? You would not know if you have been heard.
10 Acknowledgment Facts
1. Some people do not like to talk. Why? At some point, they may have tried to express themselves and were ignored. They have given up the idea that anyone listens to them.
2. Other people talk all the time as they believe no one hears them. They are still trying to get through. They think that if they talk long enough, someone will listen. If someone would acknowledge them, they would relax.
3. When employers give their staff members a good acknowledgment for completing their work, the staff members feel proud and satisfied.
"Boss, I finished that project ahead of schedule and under budget!"
"Good job!"
If the boss does not acknowledge the project completion, the employee will either repeat the statement or give up and lose interest in talking to the boss.
4. Employees who are not acknowledged will demand more pay because pay is a form of acknowledgment. Without any acknowledgments, an employee will eventually give up and find a boss who appreciates the employee's hard work.
5. Bosses and parents need acknowledgment as well.
"Could you clean up this area before you leave?"
Silence.
"I said, clean up this area before you leave."
Blank face.
"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I SAID CLEAN UP THE AREA BEFORE YOU LEAVE! GOT IT?"
6. Acknowledgments keep relationships going. If you never respond to personal letters, no one will write to you. If you forget to thank people for their gifts, you eventually get no gifts. If you never return telephone calls, your phone goes silent.
7. Acknowledging e-mail communication is also important. With so many spam filters around, you might not know that your message got through if the person does not write back. You improve your relationships when you acknowledge your e-mail: "Thanks for the note."
8. Children who are not acknowledged get upset and demand more attention. "Mommy? Watch this! Mommy? Watch me! Mommy? Look at me! Mommy? Mommy?" Parents who acknowledge their children have calmer, more confident children.
9. Even dogs and cats are happier when you acknowledge their efforts to please you. Ignore them and they might cause problems.
10. When people do not acknowledge you, you repeat yourself. You start to nod your head as you talk. You speak louder. You get angry or yell.
Finally, you might decide "to heck with it" and stop talking.
Next time someone repeats themselves or gets irritated at you for no reason, give him or her a good acknowledgment. "Yes, I understand. Thank you."
If you are not sure an acknowledgment is important, listen to someone talk to you and then say nothing. Remain silent. Don't even nod your head. Notice how they react.
Then give the person some relief and say, "Oh, sorry. I heard you. Please go on."
How to Give Great Acknowledgments
To properly acknowledge someone, pay attention and wait until the person is finished. Then indicate you received and understood the message. "Okay," "Thanks," "Good," "All right," "I got that," "No problem," "Makes sense," "Sure thing," "Fine," "Roger" or whatever.
Give it a try!
Do you wish people felt more comfortable talking to you? Would you like people to confide in you more often?
If so, you'll like this simple, yet powerful, communication technique.
After someone tells you something, what should you do next? How do you let the person know you heard what he or she said?
"Acknowledgment: Something said or done to inform another that his statement or action has been noted, understood and received. 'Very good,' 'Okay,' and other such phrases are intended to inform another who has spoken or acted that his statement or action has been accepted."
"Acknowledgment itself does not necessarily imply an approval or disapproval or any other thing beyond the knowledge that an action or statement has been observed and is received." -- L. Ron Hubbard
An acknowledgment can be a nod or a smile, a "thank you" or an "okay." It lets the person know that you received his or her communication.
For example, if I ask you for the time and you reply, "It's nine o'clock," how would you know I received your answer if I didn't give you an acknowledgment? You would not know if you have been heard.
10 Acknowledgment Facts
1. Some people do not like to talk. Why? At some point, they may have tried to express themselves and were ignored. They have given up the idea that anyone listens to them.
2. Other people talk all the time as they believe no one hears them. They are still trying to get through. They think that if they talk long enough, someone will listen. If someone would acknowledge them, they would relax.
3. When employers give their staff members a good acknowledgment for completing their work, the staff members feel proud and satisfied.
"Boss, I finished that project ahead of schedule and under budget!"
"Good job!"
If the boss does not acknowledge the project completion, the employee will either repeat the statement or give up and lose interest in talking to the boss.
4. Employees who are not acknowledged will demand more pay because pay is a form of acknowledgment. Without any acknowledgments, an employee will eventually give up and find a boss who appreciates the employee's hard work.
5. Bosses and parents need acknowledgment as well.
"Could you clean up this area before you leave?"
Silence.
"I said, clean up this area before you leave."
Blank face.
"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I SAID CLEAN UP THE AREA BEFORE YOU LEAVE! GOT IT?"
6. Acknowledgments keep relationships going. If you never respond to personal letters, no one will write to you. If you forget to thank people for their gifts, you eventually get no gifts. If you never return telephone calls, your phone goes silent.
7. Acknowledging e-mail communication is also important. With so many spam filters around, you might not know that your message got through if the person does not write back. You improve your relationships when you acknowledge your e-mail: "Thanks for the note."
8. Children who are not acknowledged get upset and demand more attention. "Mommy? Watch this! Mommy? Watch me! Mommy? Look at me! Mommy? Mommy?" Parents who acknowledge their children have calmer, more confident children.
9. Even dogs and cats are happier when you acknowledge their efforts to please you. Ignore them and they might cause problems.
10. When people do not acknowledge you, you repeat yourself. You start to nod your head as you talk. You speak louder. You get angry or yell.
Finally, you might decide "to heck with it" and stop talking.
Next time someone repeats themselves or gets irritated at you for no reason, give him or her a good acknowledgment. "Yes, I understand. Thank you."
If you are not sure an acknowledgment is important, listen to someone talk to you and then say nothing. Remain silent. Don't even nod your head. Notice how they react.
Then give the person some relief and say, "Oh, sorry. I heard you. Please go on."
How to Give Great Acknowledgments
To properly acknowledge someone, pay attention and wait until the person is finished. Then indicate you received and understood the message. "Okay," "Thanks," "Good," "All right," "I got that," "No problem," "Makes sense," "Sure thing," "Fine," "Roger" or whatever.
Give it a try!
How to Solve "Unsolvable" Problems
Are you afraid? Angry? Worried? Is your attention stuck on a problem?
If so, you might simply need to exercise your mental abilities.
Your mind is like a powerful computer. It's job is to solve problems so you can enjoy a successful life.
In a 1951 handbook, L. Ron Hubbard wrote these exercises to help you improve the performance of your mind. Give it a try! You might be amazed at how easily you can solve huge, long-term problems, by yourself, right now, on your own.
"Problems do not solve for two reasons: The first is lack of data; the second is an earlier unsolved problem on the same subject."
"This will become clearer to you when you have completed the following exercise."
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU ARE NOT SOLVING IN THE PRESENT."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WISH YOU KNEW ABOUT EACH ONE OF THE PROBLEMS ABOVE (THE MISSING DATA YOU WISH YOU HAD.)"
"NOW LIST HOW IMPORTANT YOU NOW FEEL THESE PROBLEMS ACTUALLY ARE OR WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE NOW SOLVED."
"IF ANY OF THE FIVE PROBLEMS REMAIN UNSOLVED, LIST WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO DO TO SOLVE THEM."
"Now let us take a glance at the past. There are several problems, undoubtedly, which you feel you did not solve.
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU FEEL YOU DID NOT SOLVE IN THE PAST."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WISH YOU HAD KNOWN ABOUT EACH ONE OF THE PROBLEMS ABOVE."
"NOW LIST HOW IMPORTANT THESE PROBLEMS ACTUALLY ARE TO YOUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES."
"IF ANY OF THE ABOVE PROBLEMS STILL BOTHER YOU, WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO DO TO OR KNOW IN ORDER TO RESOLVE THEM?"
"Let us now take a look at the problems of the future.
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU THINK YOU WILL HAVE TO SOLVE IN THE FUTURE."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WILL HAVE TO DO NOW TO SOLVE THESE PROBLEMS IN THE FUTURE."
"NOW LIST HOW VITAL THESE PROBLEMS MAY BECOME TO YOUR EXISTENCE."
"IF ANY OF THE ABOVE PROBLEMS WORRY YOU, IT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT DECIDED UPON YOUR COURSE OF ACTION. TRY TO LIST YOUR COURSE AS IT WILL PROBABLY BE TAKEN." -- L. Ron Hubbard
If so, you might simply need to exercise your mental abilities.
Your mind is like a powerful computer. It's job is to solve problems so you can enjoy a successful life.
In a 1951 handbook, L. Ron Hubbard wrote these exercises to help you improve the performance of your mind. Give it a try! You might be amazed at how easily you can solve huge, long-term problems, by yourself, right now, on your own.
"Problems do not solve for two reasons: The first is lack of data; the second is an earlier unsolved problem on the same subject."
"This will become clearer to you when you have completed the following exercise."
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU ARE NOT SOLVING IN THE PRESENT."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WISH YOU KNEW ABOUT EACH ONE OF THE PROBLEMS ABOVE (THE MISSING DATA YOU WISH YOU HAD.)"
"NOW LIST HOW IMPORTANT YOU NOW FEEL THESE PROBLEMS ACTUALLY ARE OR WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE NOW SOLVED."
"IF ANY OF THE FIVE PROBLEMS REMAIN UNSOLVED, LIST WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO DO TO SOLVE THEM."
"Now let us take a glance at the past. There are several problems, undoubtedly, which you feel you did not solve.
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU FEEL YOU DID NOT SOLVE IN THE PAST."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WISH YOU HAD KNOWN ABOUT EACH ONE OF THE PROBLEMS ABOVE."
"NOW LIST HOW IMPORTANT THESE PROBLEMS ACTUALLY ARE TO YOUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES."
"IF ANY OF THE ABOVE PROBLEMS STILL BOTHER YOU, WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO DO TO OR KNOW IN ORDER TO RESOLVE THEM?"
"Let us now take a look at the problems of the future.
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU THINK YOU WILL HAVE TO SOLVE IN THE FUTURE."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WILL HAVE TO DO NOW TO SOLVE THESE PROBLEMS IN THE FUTURE."
"NOW LIST HOW VITAL THESE PROBLEMS MAY BECOME TO YOUR EXISTENCE."
"IF ANY OF THE ABOVE PROBLEMS WORRY YOU, IT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT DECIDED UPON YOUR COURSE OF ACTION. TRY TO LIST YOUR COURSE AS IT WILL PROBABLY BE TAKEN." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Delegating Power
Question: What is the most common fear of executives?
Answer: Delegating power to employees who might fail.
Only courageous leaders are able to pass down authority, decision-making power and responsibility to those below them. They do this despite the incompetence, inability and inexperience of their people.
History is filled with leaders who could not lead. L. Ron Hubbard uses a South American leader, Simon Bolivar, as an example of how extraordinary people can fail as executives.
Simon Bolivar successfully won the South American revolutionary war against Spain during the 1800's. After the war he was the richest, most powerful man in South America, but only for a brief period. Because of his mistakes, he was kicked out of his country and eventually, died broke.
Bolivar made the same mistake most failed executives make. He could not delegate power.
"Brave beyond any general in history on the battlefield, the Andes or in torrential rivers, he [Simon Bolivar] did not really have the bravery needed to trust inferior minds and stand by their often shocking blunders. He feared their blunders. So he did not dare unleash his many willing hounds.
"He could lead men, make men feel wonderful, make men fight and lay down their lives after hardships no army elsewhere in the world had ever faced before or since. But he could not use men even when they were begging to be used."
"If you have power, use it or delegate it or you sure won't have it long." -- L. Ron Hubbard
You fail as an executive whenever you bypass an employee, redo their work or change their decisions too often. If you train your people, why interfere? You cannot expect to be successful if you pass out authority and then take it back.
For example, you tell your best receptionist, "You are now in charge of the entire waiting area and all of the receptionists' scheduling." The new reception manager then takes over and posts a new schedule . . . but you don't like it. There is nothing really wrong with the schedule, but you would prefer a different arrangement.
If you are a stupid executive, you will change the schedule. If you are a smart executive, you will leave the schedule alone. You might make a private suggestion. But if possible, you wait and see how it goes. If the new manager's decision is even close to being correct, you must leave it alone.
You succeed as an executive when you delegate the entire job and let the person get on with it. You give staff members the room to make mistakes, fix their mistakes and learn from their mistakes.
You support their decisions. You help them when they need help, but you don't interfere with the territory you give to them.
Ten Benefits of Delegating Power
1. You can use your time for the most valuable work possible.
2. You reduce your workload.
3. You can focus on increasing the productivity and income for your group.
4. People like to work for you as you give them new challenges and new opportunities.
5. You get more done with less effort.
6. Everyone in your group shows more responsibility.
7. Higher morale for everyone.
8. Your income goes up.
9. The pay of the members of your group goes up.
10. You reach your goals and your group's goals in less time.
Recommendations for Executives (includes business owners, managers and bosses of all types)
1. Make a list of every job you are currently doing yourself.
2. Rate each job according to difficulty. For example, put a 1 by the easiest jobs and a 5 by the hardest jobs. Rate every job from 1-5.
3. Decide who can take over which jobs. Put their name next to the job you will be delegating. You will delegate the easiest jobs first. If you do not currently have a person to take over some of your jobs, use "future" names, such as "Future Marketing Director" or "Future Executive Director."
4. Delegate each job as fast as possible. As long as the people are trained and know what they are doing, leave them alone.
5. With your free time, focus on the big picture; new goals, new territory, new operations and greater success for you and your organization.
If You are Not Yet An Executive . . .
. . . you soon will be if you do the following:
1. Look for opportunities to take on more responsibility. Grab every bit you can. Do not worry about extra pay at this point.
2. When you get a duty assigned to you, get the entire duty assigned. "So if I take on this job, can I make all the related decisions? If I want to try a new approach, can I just go ahead? How should I report my progress to you?"
3. If your boss tries to take back some of the responsibility, bring it up as soon as possible. "Am I still in charge of this duty? If you want to take it back, that is fine with me, I just need to know. If you are really delegating it to me, I'll need to have full authority over it which means you won't step in without talking to me first. Is that okay?"
4. As soon as you can, start to delegate duties to people below you so you can take on even more responsibility.
You are now an executive!
Answer: Delegating power to employees who might fail.
Only courageous leaders are able to pass down authority, decision-making power and responsibility to those below them. They do this despite the incompetence, inability and inexperience of their people.
History is filled with leaders who could not lead. L. Ron Hubbard uses a South American leader, Simon Bolivar, as an example of how extraordinary people can fail as executives.
Simon Bolivar successfully won the South American revolutionary war against Spain during the 1800's. After the war he was the richest, most powerful man in South America, but only for a brief period. Because of his mistakes, he was kicked out of his country and eventually, died broke.
Bolivar made the same mistake most failed executives make. He could not delegate power.
"Brave beyond any general in history on the battlefield, the Andes or in torrential rivers, he [Simon Bolivar] did not really have the bravery needed to trust inferior minds and stand by their often shocking blunders. He feared their blunders. So he did not dare unleash his many willing hounds.
"He could lead men, make men feel wonderful, make men fight and lay down their lives after hardships no army elsewhere in the world had ever faced before or since. But he could not use men even when they were begging to be used."
"If you have power, use it or delegate it or you sure won't have it long." -- L. Ron Hubbard
You fail as an executive whenever you bypass an employee, redo their work or change their decisions too often. If you train your people, why interfere? You cannot expect to be successful if you pass out authority and then take it back.
For example, you tell your best receptionist, "You are now in charge of the entire waiting area and all of the receptionists' scheduling." The new reception manager then takes over and posts a new schedule . . . but you don't like it. There is nothing really wrong with the schedule, but you would prefer a different arrangement.
If you are a stupid executive, you will change the schedule. If you are a smart executive, you will leave the schedule alone. You might make a private suggestion. But if possible, you wait and see how it goes. If the new manager's decision is even close to being correct, you must leave it alone.
You succeed as an executive when you delegate the entire job and let the person get on with it. You give staff members the room to make mistakes, fix their mistakes and learn from their mistakes.
You support their decisions. You help them when they need help, but you don't interfere with the territory you give to them.
Ten Benefits of Delegating Power
1. You can use your time for the most valuable work possible.
2. You reduce your workload.
3. You can focus on increasing the productivity and income for your group.
4. People like to work for you as you give them new challenges and new opportunities.
5. You get more done with less effort.
6. Everyone in your group shows more responsibility.
7. Higher morale for everyone.
8. Your income goes up.
9. The pay of the members of your group goes up.
10. You reach your goals and your group's goals in less time.
Recommendations for Executives (includes business owners, managers and bosses of all types)
1. Make a list of every job you are currently doing yourself.
2. Rate each job according to difficulty. For example, put a 1 by the easiest jobs and a 5 by the hardest jobs. Rate every job from 1-5.
3. Decide who can take over which jobs. Put their name next to the job you will be delegating. You will delegate the easiest jobs first. If you do not currently have a person to take over some of your jobs, use "future" names, such as "Future Marketing Director" or "Future Executive Director."
4. Delegate each job as fast as possible. As long as the people are trained and know what they are doing, leave them alone.
5. With your free time, focus on the big picture; new goals, new territory, new operations and greater success for you and your organization.
If You are Not Yet An Executive . . .
. . . you soon will be if you do the following:
1. Look for opportunities to take on more responsibility. Grab every bit you can. Do not worry about extra pay at this point.
2. When you get a duty assigned to you, get the entire duty assigned. "So if I take on this job, can I make all the related decisions? If I want to try a new approach, can I just go ahead? How should I report my progress to you?"
3. If your boss tries to take back some of the responsibility, bring it up as soon as possible. "Am I still in charge of this duty? If you want to take it back, that is fine with me, I just need to know. If you are really delegating it to me, I'll need to have full authority over it which means you won't step in without talking to me first. Is that okay?"
4. As soon as you can, start to delegate duties to people below you so you can take on even more responsibility.
You are now an executive!
Five Tips to Help Children Succeed
Raising
kids is a difficult, yet important task. You can add a happy and
valuable member to our world or create an unhappy problem for
the world to handle. These five tips will help you.
Even if you are not currently raising children, they are a big part of your future. Today's children are tomorrow's parents and leaders. You can improve our future by helping parents raise their kids with these five tips.
The following five quotes are from The Way to Happiness by L. Ron Hubbard.
1. "What does have a workability is simply to try to be the child's friend. It is certainly true that a child needs friends."
Who were the adults in your own childhood? Who were your favorite relatives? Your favorite leaders, sports coaches or teachers? If you smile at the memory, they probably treated you like a friend, not a child.
2. "Try to find out what a child's problem really is and without crushing their own solutions, try to help solve them."
A child is a regular person in a small body. You don't own a child. He or she is starting to think. If you encourage them to solve problems, you are building their confidence.
For example, asking the right questions is often more valuable to people than giving out answers. "Why are you crying? Why was he mean to you? What do you want to do about it? Okay. What might be a better way to solve it?"
3. "Observe them--and this applies even to babies. Listen to what children tell you about their lives."
For example, you might observe a baby calms down when a football game is on the television. You may discover your three-year-old gets excited when painting flowers. An eight-year-old may give you a great idea that you've never considered.
4. "Let them help-if you don't, they become overwhelmed with a sense of obligation which they then must repress." (Repress = hold back.)
How do you feel if someone gives you money or favors, but refuses to let you return the favor in any way? Perhaps you feel worthless as you have nothing valuable to give to that person. If you are not allowed to help the person back, you'll soon dislike or distrust the person and refuse all future gifts.
"If you fold the napkins, it would really help me." "I'll give you an allowance if you take care of all the garbage for the house." "I'll feel better if you sing a song for me."
5. "A child factually does not do well without love. Most children have an abundance of it to return."
Even if you are not currently raising children, they are a big part of your future. Today's children are tomorrow's parents and leaders. You can improve our future by helping parents raise their kids with these five tips.
The following five quotes are from The Way to Happiness by L. Ron Hubbard.
1. "What does have a workability is simply to try to be the child's friend. It is certainly true that a child needs friends."
Who were the adults in your own childhood? Who were your favorite relatives? Your favorite leaders, sports coaches or teachers? If you smile at the memory, they probably treated you like a friend, not a child.
2. "Try to find out what a child's problem really is and without crushing their own solutions, try to help solve them."
A child is a regular person in a small body. You don't own a child. He or she is starting to think. If you encourage them to solve problems, you are building their confidence.
For example, asking the right questions is often more valuable to people than giving out answers. "Why are you crying? Why was he mean to you? What do you want to do about it? Okay. What might be a better way to solve it?"
3. "Observe them--and this applies even to babies. Listen to what children tell you about their lives."
For example, you might observe a baby calms down when a football game is on the television. You may discover your three-year-old gets excited when painting flowers. An eight-year-old may give you a great idea that you've never considered.
4. "Let them help-if you don't, they become overwhelmed with a sense of obligation which they then must repress." (Repress = hold back.)
How do you feel if someone gives you money or favors, but refuses to let you return the favor in any way? Perhaps you feel worthless as you have nothing valuable to give to that person. If you are not allowed to help the person back, you'll soon dislike or distrust the person and refuse all future gifts.
"If you fold the napkins, it would really help me." "I'll give you an allowance if you take care of all the garbage for the house." "I'll feel better if you sing a song for me."
5. "A child factually does not do well without love. Most children have an abundance of it to return."
How to Stop Worrying
One of the most stressful aspects of managing your life, job or business is SURPRISES.
For example, you are going along, believing everything is fine, then WHAM! Your son gets arrested. Your neighbor cuts down your tree. Your car is stolen.
Any job can include surprising catastrophes. You get demoted or transferred. Your co-worker falsely accuses you of theft. Your boss screams at you.
Management surprises can be the most stressful of all. A key employee suddenly quits. A government agent walks in to do an inspection. Some crazy guy screams at your receptionist and won't leave.
Odds are good you will get hit with several surprises in your life. As a result, your forward progress can be stopped. Your production can be blocked. Your success can be ruined.
Even worse, the more successful you are, or the bigger your business becomes, the more often you might be hit with surprises.
Bad Solutions
You might be so afraid of catastrophes that you take them too seriously. You decide to stop succeeding. To earn less money. To be less aggressive, less intense or less passionate.
You believe that if you are small and insignificant, people will leave you alone. Of course, they just hunt you down.
Another bad approach is to get upset when a catastrophe occurs. You act like a victim or a coward. Yet this often makes the problem even worse. You do and say the wrong things and get hit with more surprises.
Getting numb is another bad idea. You might want to use drugs or alcohol to deaden your feelings. You try to turn off the world. But this also hurts your success as you need to clearly perceive the world around you if you wish to succeed.
Constantly worrying about surprises is another bad solution as it makes life miserable. Instead of focusing on opportunities and good results, you worry. You spend too much time thinking about problems and potential catastrophes that might happen to you.
Luckily, you can reduce your stress and worry with a little planning.
Surprise Insurance
"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Your best insurance is to predict and plan for catastrophes IN ADVANCE. Once you have a plan for handling every conceivable surprise, you can relax.
For example, you are worried you'll be in trouble with your boss because you would not wash his wife's car. You plan a positive response. "I hope I didn't offend your wife, but knew I should check with you before stopping my work to wash her car." Because you are prepared, you stop worrying. The boss never says anything about it.
When you have a plan for a disaster, you are ready for it. Instead of reacting to the problem, while upset and prone to making mistakes, you take command of the situation. You resolve it with your plan. Your prosperity continues.
For example, as a boss, you learn a former employee is suing you. If you planned for this possibility in advance, you would know exactly what to do. Your paperwork would be filed and organized. Your lawyer would send a copy of your paperwork to the employee's attorney. The employee's attorney would see you had done everything right and drop the case.
As another example, you can't sleep because you MUST get to work on time to give a presentation. So instead of tossing and turning in your bed, you turn on the lights. You write down every reason you might be late. You plan how to handle each. You set two alarm clocks and a wind-up alarm in case the power goes out. You figure out another way to get to work in case your car won't start. You lay out your clothes and set up your coffee maker. You are now prepared! You get in bed and instantly fall asleep.
The same principle works on a personal level. For example, Joe is worried his wife will be angry when she finds out he quit his job. He works out the best way to explain it to her so she can understand his reasons. Joe stops worrying and drives home. When he first gives her the news, he is ready for a bad reaction, but she is fine. Because he planned for a catastrophe, it does not happen.
Recommendation
Make a list of all the catastrophes you expect may happen to you. Include everything that makes you worry. Small things, big things, anything you can think of.
Next to each item on your list, write up a plan to handle it. Some potential catastrophes require a single preparation stop. Others need a detailed, 20-step plan.
As you do this exercise, you may feel uncomfortable and nervous. Just keep working on it. As you plan out more solutions and get prepared, you will feel more relaxed and confident than ever before. You become ready for anything!
After you finish, you will probably think of more things to add to your list. So keep it handy.
In fact, each time you feel stressed or worried about a potential problem, add the potential surprise to your list. If it's already on the list, simply add more preparation steps until you are no longer worried.
Review the list every few months. When you review old solutions, you think of new preventive steps and better solutions.
Biggest Benefit
"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard
That's right! Because you have planned for these surprises, they won't happen to you.
Give it a try!
For example, you are going along, believing everything is fine, then WHAM! Your son gets arrested. Your neighbor cuts down your tree. Your car is stolen.
Any job can include surprising catastrophes. You get demoted or transferred. Your co-worker falsely accuses you of theft. Your boss screams at you.
Management surprises can be the most stressful of all. A key employee suddenly quits. A government agent walks in to do an inspection. Some crazy guy screams at your receptionist and won't leave.
Odds are good you will get hit with several surprises in your life. As a result, your forward progress can be stopped. Your production can be blocked. Your success can be ruined.
Even worse, the more successful you are, or the bigger your business becomes, the more often you might be hit with surprises.
Bad Solutions
You might be so afraid of catastrophes that you take them too seriously. You decide to stop succeeding. To earn less money. To be less aggressive, less intense or less passionate.
You believe that if you are small and insignificant, people will leave you alone. Of course, they just hunt you down.
Another bad approach is to get upset when a catastrophe occurs. You act like a victim or a coward. Yet this often makes the problem even worse. You do and say the wrong things and get hit with more surprises.
Getting numb is another bad idea. You might want to use drugs or alcohol to deaden your feelings. You try to turn off the world. But this also hurts your success as you need to clearly perceive the world around you if you wish to succeed.
Constantly worrying about surprises is another bad solution as it makes life miserable. Instead of focusing on opportunities and good results, you worry. You spend too much time thinking about problems and potential catastrophes that might happen to you.
Luckily, you can reduce your stress and worry with a little planning.
Surprise Insurance
"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Your best insurance is to predict and plan for catastrophes IN ADVANCE. Once you have a plan for handling every conceivable surprise, you can relax.
For example, you are worried you'll be in trouble with your boss because you would not wash his wife's car. You plan a positive response. "I hope I didn't offend your wife, but knew I should check with you before stopping my work to wash her car." Because you are prepared, you stop worrying. The boss never says anything about it.
When you have a plan for a disaster, you are ready for it. Instead of reacting to the problem, while upset and prone to making mistakes, you take command of the situation. You resolve it with your plan. Your prosperity continues.
For example, as a boss, you learn a former employee is suing you. If you planned for this possibility in advance, you would know exactly what to do. Your paperwork would be filed and organized. Your lawyer would send a copy of your paperwork to the employee's attorney. The employee's attorney would see you had done everything right and drop the case.
As another example, you can't sleep because you MUST get to work on time to give a presentation. So instead of tossing and turning in your bed, you turn on the lights. You write down every reason you might be late. You plan how to handle each. You set two alarm clocks and a wind-up alarm in case the power goes out. You figure out another way to get to work in case your car won't start. You lay out your clothes and set up your coffee maker. You are now prepared! You get in bed and instantly fall asleep.
The same principle works on a personal level. For example, Joe is worried his wife will be angry when she finds out he quit his job. He works out the best way to explain it to her so she can understand his reasons. Joe stops worrying and drives home. When he first gives her the news, he is ready for a bad reaction, but she is fine. Because he planned for a catastrophe, it does not happen.
Recommendation
Make a list of all the catastrophes you expect may happen to you. Include everything that makes you worry. Small things, big things, anything you can think of.
Next to each item on your list, write up a plan to handle it. Some potential catastrophes require a single preparation stop. Others need a detailed, 20-step plan.
As you do this exercise, you may feel uncomfortable and nervous. Just keep working on it. As you plan out more solutions and get prepared, you will feel more relaxed and confident than ever before. You become ready for anything!
After you finish, you will probably think of more things to add to your list. So keep it handy.
In fact, each time you feel stressed or worried about a potential problem, add the potential surprise to your list. If it's already on the list, simply add more preparation steps until you are no longer worried.
Review the list every few months. When you review old solutions, you think of new preventive steps and better solutions.
Biggest Benefit
"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard
That's right! Because you have planned for these surprises, they won't happen to you.
Give it a try!
How to Be a Great Person
Religious
leaders may disagree about many things, but they all have one
message in common. They all recommend you do one important thing
in your life. You hear this same message in every religion on
Earth, especially during the holidays.
You might find this recommendation difficult to follow. For some people, it's nearly impossible to live this way. However, when you use this advice, you earn the most wonderful gifts available to you.
Not only does this advice make you happy, it lowers your stress and boosts your intelligence. You face difficult situations with less fear. You love everyone around you.
What Is Greatness?
"The hardest task one can have is to continue to love his fellows despite all reasons he should not."
"For the one who can achieve this, there is abundant hope.
"For those who cannot, there is only sorrow, hatred and despair. And these are not the things of which greatness, or sanity or happiness are made.
"A primary trap is to succumb to invitations to hate.
"Never use what is done to one as a basis for hatred. Never desire revenge.
"It requires real strength to love man*. And to love him despite all invitations to do otherwise, all provocations and all reasons why one should not.
"Happiness and strength endure only in the absence of hate. To hate alone is the road to disaster. To love is the road to strength. To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*Man: mankind; the human race.)
Examples
1. As soon as you arrive at your family's party, your stomach twists when you see your Aunt Jane. Ever since you were young, Aunt Jane has criticized you. "Well, managing a shoe store is fine, but I thought you'd be a successful doctor, like your father." "I was completely surprised to see your daughter's eyes are blue since you and your wife have brown eyes."
If you had known Aunt Jane would be at the family gathering, you would have found a good excuse to miss it. You want to leave, but then she sees you. "There you are! Have you been avoiding me?"
You decide to be a great person and love your Aunt Jane despite all reasons you should not. As you hug her, you notice she is now in her 70's. You suddenly realize she hasn't criticized you for more than 20 years. You are surprised to find you actually do love her.
2. You are driving down the road enjoying some music and some idiot cuts in front of you. You slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. You send him a mental curse and hope he has a rotten life.
You notice you feel rotten. You blame the other driver and start driving recklessly.
So you decide to be great. You try to love the driver, but the best you can do is find a little understanding. You think, "He must be late for work." You wish him well.
Within seconds, you feel better and forget about it. You go back to enjoying your music.
3. A few years ago, you and your friend Peter bought a delivery van. He used it during the day to make deliveries from his flower shop and you used it at night to deliver newspapers.
When going to work one night, you notice the van is missing. You call Peter who says, "Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you that I sort of rented it to this guy. I mean, uh, well, I sold it because I had to pay off some bills. I think you owe me some money anyway, so I think we should call it even."
You can't believe he has done this to you. You yell at him and vow to never speak to him again. You jump in your car and spend all night moving newspapers.
You plot revenge in several ways. You'll spray paint his flower shop windows. You'll steal his car. You'll spread rumors about him.
Every time you think about Peter and the van, you get upset. Even two years later, you feel the hatred whenever you see a similar van. You are not pleasant to be around.
You decide to be a great person and love Peter despite all reasons you should not. Aftera few days, you decide to him.
Peter says, "I'm so glad you called! I'm sorry about the van! I've regretted selling it for years now."
You say, "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry too. Let's go fishing one of these days, okay?"
The van memory stops hurting you. People like being around you again. You feel great!
Five Recommendations for Becoming a Greater Person
1. Love everyone around you. People in your family, neighborhood, workplace, everyone. Love them for no reason.
2. Whenever someone tries to get you to hate him or her, refuse to play the game. Instead, generate some love for the person, even if only a small amount.
3. Make yourself mentally tougher by loving people, even your enemies. You can certainly love people without letting them control you. In fact, it's easier to face and handle difficult people if you love them.
4. Eliminate revenge as a purpose in your life. Who do you want to get even with? Change that intention into something positive.
5. Make yourself happier by loving people. Whenever you feel depressed (sorrow) or a loss of hope (despair), find someone to love. You don't even need to see or talk to the person, just love him or her.
"To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. -- L. Ron Hubbard
You might find this recommendation difficult to follow. For some people, it's nearly impossible to live this way. However, when you use this advice, you earn the most wonderful gifts available to you.
Not only does this advice make you happy, it lowers your stress and boosts your intelligence. You face difficult situations with less fear. You love everyone around you.
What Is Greatness?
"The hardest task one can have is to continue to love his fellows despite all reasons he should not."
"For the one who can achieve this, there is abundant hope.
"For those who cannot, there is only sorrow, hatred and despair. And these are not the things of which greatness, or sanity or happiness are made.
"A primary trap is to succumb to invitations to hate.
"Never use what is done to one as a basis for hatred. Never desire revenge.
"It requires real strength to love man*. And to love him despite all invitations to do otherwise, all provocations and all reasons why one should not.
"Happiness and strength endure only in the absence of hate. To hate alone is the road to disaster. To love is the road to strength. To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*Man: mankind; the human race.)
Examples
1. As soon as you arrive at your family's party, your stomach twists when you see your Aunt Jane. Ever since you were young, Aunt Jane has criticized you. "Well, managing a shoe store is fine, but I thought you'd be a successful doctor, like your father." "I was completely surprised to see your daughter's eyes are blue since you and your wife have brown eyes."
If you had known Aunt Jane would be at the family gathering, you would have found a good excuse to miss it. You want to leave, but then she sees you. "There you are! Have you been avoiding me?"
You decide to be a great person and love your Aunt Jane despite all reasons you should not. As you hug her, you notice she is now in her 70's. You suddenly realize she hasn't criticized you for more than 20 years. You are surprised to find you actually do love her.
2. You are driving down the road enjoying some music and some idiot cuts in front of you. You slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. You send him a mental curse and hope he has a rotten life.
You notice you feel rotten. You blame the other driver and start driving recklessly.
So you decide to be great. You try to love the driver, but the best you can do is find a little understanding. You think, "He must be late for work." You wish him well.
Within seconds, you feel better and forget about it. You go back to enjoying your music.
3. A few years ago, you and your friend Peter bought a delivery van. He used it during the day to make deliveries from his flower shop and you used it at night to deliver newspapers.
When going to work one night, you notice the van is missing. You call Peter who says, "Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you that I sort of rented it to this guy. I mean, uh, well, I sold it because I had to pay off some bills. I think you owe me some money anyway, so I think we should call it even."
You can't believe he has done this to you. You yell at him and vow to never speak to him again. You jump in your car and spend all night moving newspapers.
You plot revenge in several ways. You'll spray paint his flower shop windows. You'll steal his car. You'll spread rumors about him.
Every time you think about Peter and the van, you get upset. Even two years later, you feel the hatred whenever you see a similar van. You are not pleasant to be around.
You decide to be a great person and love Peter despite all reasons you should not. Aftera few days, you decide to him.
Peter says, "I'm so glad you called! I'm sorry about the van! I've regretted selling it for years now."
You say, "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry too. Let's go fishing one of these days, okay?"
The van memory stops hurting you. People like being around you again. You feel great!
Five Recommendations for Becoming a Greater Person
1. Love everyone around you. People in your family, neighborhood, workplace, everyone. Love them for no reason.
2. Whenever someone tries to get you to hate him or her, refuse to play the game. Instead, generate some love for the person, even if only a small amount.
3. Make yourself mentally tougher by loving people, even your enemies. You can certainly love people without letting them control you. In fact, it's easier to face and handle difficult people if you love them.
4. Eliminate revenge as a purpose in your life. Who do you want to get even with? Change that intention into something positive.
5. Make yourself happier by loving people. Whenever you feel depressed (sorrow) or a loss of hope (despair), find someone to love. You don't even need to see or talk to the person, just love him or her.
"To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. -- L. Ron Hubbard
Lighten Up!
For
many of us, December is the most stressful month of the year.
The weather is cold, the roads and stores are crowded and you have a
lot to do.
Each day you face serious burdens. Maybe you don't make enough money. Perhaps your love life is non-existent. Your work might be unbearable.
Perhaps you dislike where you live. Your coworkers are unfriendly. You do things you regret.
If you finally decide to do something about it, what do you do?
Move to a new town? Leave your spouse? Look for a new job?
Maybe you just watch more television or drink a little more wine.
But the drudgeries or burdens always return. Life seems pretty serious.
Fortunately, you can do something right now that will change everything.
"When a man loses his Spirit of Play, he's dead." "... a guy will tell you, 'Well, I had some illusions when I was a kid, but I've lost all those. I'm practical now. We've got to face this thing practically, and what we are doing here is very serious.'"
"You want to know what seriousness is? Seriousness is solidity. You ever hear of a 'solid citizen?'
"There's nothing that succeeds like insouciance*. Plain flippancy** will actually get more done in less time than anything else you can name."
"And the more seriously you take the game, the less chance there is of winning."-- L. Ron Hubbard (*Insouciance: Lack of concern, carefree.) (**Flippancy: casualness, disrespectful joy.)
Benefits
When you take things less seriously and fire up your Spirit of Play, you enjoy several benefits.
● You get more done with less effort.
● You think of new solutions that are simple and effective.
● People enjoy being around you.
● You feel healthier and more alive.
● You get more cooperation and support from others
● You have more fun.
So how do you take the game of life less seriously? How can you get more insouciant or flippant?
Recommendations
If you are in good mental shape, simply reminding yourself to lighten up can switch you from a serious mood to a light and carefree mood.
For example, you are stuck in a long traffic line waiting to get into a parking lot. You get into the parking lot and can't find a place to park. Instead of driving around giving people dirty looks, you decide to lighten up. "Why am I getting so serious about a parking space! I'll park down the street and get in some exercise."
As another example, your car breaks down. You get mad at yourself for not taking better care of it. You then criticize yourself for not making enough money. You feel like smashing your car with a hammer. Instead you say, "I'm getting too serious here! When I'm rich and successful, this will be really funny." You laugh and get your car fixed.
Another example: You and your spouse are not talking. You disagreed about something, had an argument and got very serious. You decide, "We need to lighten up!" So you act silly or tell jokes until you and your spouse laugh.
Your Spirit of Play can make or break your business or career. If you get serious, you not only feel lousy, you make others lose the joy of work. Your days drag by and you look for ways to quit. You lose more often than you win.
If you stop taking your job so seriously, you and those around you make better decisions. Your days fly by as you get more done. You win the game.
Each day you face serious burdens. Maybe you don't make enough money. Perhaps your love life is non-existent. Your work might be unbearable.
Perhaps you dislike where you live. Your coworkers are unfriendly. You do things you regret.
If you finally decide to do something about it, what do you do?
Move to a new town? Leave your spouse? Look for a new job?
Maybe you just watch more television or drink a little more wine.
But the drudgeries or burdens always return. Life seems pretty serious.
Fortunately, you can do something right now that will change everything.
"When a man loses his Spirit of Play, he's dead." "... a guy will tell you, 'Well, I had some illusions when I was a kid, but I've lost all those. I'm practical now. We've got to face this thing practically, and what we are doing here is very serious.'"
"You want to know what seriousness is? Seriousness is solidity. You ever hear of a 'solid citizen?'
"There's nothing that succeeds like insouciance*. Plain flippancy** will actually get more done in less time than anything else you can name."
"And the more seriously you take the game, the less chance there is of winning."-- L. Ron Hubbard (*Insouciance: Lack of concern, carefree.) (**Flippancy: casualness, disrespectful joy.)
Benefits
When you take things less seriously and fire up your Spirit of Play, you enjoy several benefits.
● You get more done with less effort.
● You think of new solutions that are simple and effective.
● People enjoy being around you.
● You feel healthier and more alive.
● You get more cooperation and support from others
● You have more fun.
So how do you take the game of life less seriously? How can you get more insouciant or flippant?
Recommendations
If you are in good mental shape, simply reminding yourself to lighten up can switch you from a serious mood to a light and carefree mood.
For example, you are stuck in a long traffic line waiting to get into a parking lot. You get into the parking lot and can't find a place to park. Instead of driving around giving people dirty looks, you decide to lighten up. "Why am I getting so serious about a parking space! I'll park down the street and get in some exercise."
As another example, your car breaks down. You get mad at yourself for not taking better care of it. You then criticize yourself for not making enough money. You feel like smashing your car with a hammer. Instead you say, "I'm getting too serious here! When I'm rich and successful, this will be really funny." You laugh and get your car fixed.
Another example: You and your spouse are not talking. You disagreed about something, had an argument and got very serious. You decide, "We need to lighten up!" So you act silly or tell jokes until you and your spouse laugh.
Your Spirit of Play can make or break your business or career. If you get serious, you not only feel lousy, you make others lose the joy of work. Your days drag by and you look for ways to quit. You lose more often than you win.
If you stop taking your job so seriously, you and those around you make better decisions. Your days fly by as you get more done. You win the game.
No Means No!
Is it easier for you to say "yes" or "no"?
If you are like most people, "no" is a difficult word to use. Saying "no" is like telling someone they are bad or wrong. "No" seems to mean you reject them.
However, if you can't say "no," you will have many difficulties.
Financial Uses for "No"
You cannot build wealth if you cannot say "no."
For example, if you manage finances for a business or organization, you probably know how often people try to get you to say "yes." Yet if you agree to every financial request, your group will soon go broke.
"It is up to a financial manager to be very, very, very tough and to learn how to say no, no, no, no. In fact, it would be a very good thing if he stood in front of a mirror for ten or fifteen minutes a day saying `no.'" -- L. Ron Hubbard
If you are the financial manager for a business or group, you must say "no" for the sake of your organization.
Even if you do not manage a group's finances, you ARE the financial manager of your personal finances. You also need to learn to say "no." If you cannot say "no," you never build any wealth.
Time Uses for "No"
Like money, your time must be used wisely to build your success. In fact, your time is your most valuable resource and must be spent wisely. Yet your decisions may not always be popular with others.
You've probably heard statements like these:
"To get along, you need to go along."
"If you like me, you'll say yes."
"Work with me here and don't rock the boat!"
To move ahead, you MUST say "no" to non-productive activities.
"No, sorry, I don't want to get drunk tonight."
"I'd love to watch TV, but no, I'm going to study."
"Do I want to slow down and wait? Nope!"Personal Uses for "No"
The most difficult person to say "no" to is yourself. However, like starting yourself and changing yourself, self-control requires you to stop yourself.
Breaking a bad habit is simply a matter of saying "no."
"No, sorry, I won't eat that box of chocolate donuts."
"No, I will not use my credit card to buy that new stereo system."
"No, I don't smoke now."
Telling yourself "no" is also essential to your success.
"No, it's not time to quit working and go home."
"No, this job is not perfect yet."
"No, I WILL reach my goals."
Recommendations
1. Write down situations when you should say "no" regarding money.
2. Write down instances when you should say "no" regarding time.
3. Write down examples when you should say "no" regarding your personal habits.
4. Say "no" to a mirror for ten or fifteen minutes.
5. Say "no" to yourself and others in every situation listed above. Say "no" to weakness, failure and waste.
6. If you say "yes" or "maybe" when you should say "no," repeat L. Ron Hubbard's advice and say "no" to a mirror for ten or fifteen more minutes.
If you are like most people, "no" is a difficult word to use. Saying "no" is like telling someone they are bad or wrong. "No" seems to mean you reject them.
However, if you can't say "no," you will have many difficulties.
Financial Uses for "No"
You cannot build wealth if you cannot say "no."
For example, if you manage finances for a business or organization, you probably know how often people try to get you to say "yes." Yet if you agree to every financial request, your group will soon go broke.
"It is up to a financial manager to be very, very, very tough and to learn how to say no, no, no, no. In fact, it would be a very good thing if he stood in front of a mirror for ten or fifteen minutes a day saying `no.'" -- L. Ron Hubbard
If you are the financial manager for a business or group, you must say "no" for the sake of your organization.
Even if you do not manage a group's finances, you ARE the financial manager of your personal finances. You also need to learn to say "no." If you cannot say "no," you never build any wealth.
Time Uses for "No"
Like money, your time must be used wisely to build your success. In fact, your time is your most valuable resource and must be spent wisely. Yet your decisions may not always be popular with others.
You've probably heard statements like these:
"To get along, you need to go along."
"If you like me, you'll say yes."
"Work with me here and don't rock the boat!"
To move ahead, you MUST say "no" to non-productive activities.
"No, sorry, I don't want to get drunk tonight."
"I'd love to watch TV, but no, I'm going to study."
"Do I want to slow down and wait? Nope!"Personal Uses for "No"
The most difficult person to say "no" to is yourself. However, like starting yourself and changing yourself, self-control requires you to stop yourself.
Breaking a bad habit is simply a matter of saying "no."
"No, sorry, I won't eat that box of chocolate donuts."
"No, I will not use my credit card to buy that new stereo system."
"No, I don't smoke now."
Telling yourself "no" is also essential to your success.
"No, it's not time to quit working and go home."
"No, this job is not perfect yet."
"No, I WILL reach my goals."
Recommendations
1. Write down situations when you should say "no" regarding money.
2. Write down instances when you should say "no" regarding time.
3. Write down examples when you should say "no" regarding your personal habits.
4. Say "no" to a mirror for ten or fifteen minutes.
5. Say "no" to yourself and others in every situation listed above. Say "no" to weakness, failure and waste.
6. If you say "yes" or "maybe" when you should say "no," repeat L. Ron Hubbard's advice and say "no" to a mirror for ten or fifteen more minutes.
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