Becoming the leader of a project, group or business is very
thrilling. You get to make the decisions, help more people, earn more
pay and have more fun. The technology described in this article
outlines exactly how you can do this.
"THE K-R-C TRIANGLE"
"The points are K for KNOWLEDGE, R for RESPONSIBILITY and C for CONTROL."
"It is difficult to be responsible for something or control something unless you have KNOWLEDGE of it."
"It is folly to try to control something or even know something without RESPONSIBILITY."
"It is hard to fully know something or be responsible for something
over which you have no CONTROL, otherwise the result can be an
overwhelm."
"Little by little one can make anything go right by
"INCREASING KNOWLEDGE . . . ,"
"INCREASING RESPONSIBILITY . . . ,"
"INCREASING CONTROL . . . ."
"If one sorts out any situation one finds oneself in on this basis, he will generally succeed."
"By inching up each corner of the KRC triangle bit by bit, ignoring
the losses and making the wins firm, a being at length discovers his
power and command of life." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Examples
Terry and Joe work for Dan's Auto Repair. They both want to succeed, but Terry uses the KRC Triangle.
For example, when Joe makes a mistake, he hits the car part with his
tool. When Terry makes a mistake, he slows down, adjusts the tool and
carefully does the work again. He increases his control.
At 5:00 each night, Joe puts down his tools and walks out the door to
get a beer. Terry cleans up his area, oils his tools and puts them
away. He increases his responsibility.
During the
weekends, Joe watches football while Terry reads auto repair magazines
and shop manuals. He increases his knowledge.
Joe gets
frustrated when he can't pay his bills, can't get along with his wife
and can't get ahead at his job. He complains about all the losses he has
had in life to his buddies at the bar every night.
Terry
also gets frustrated, but he ignores the losses and rarely talks about
them. Instead, he makes his wins firm by sharing them with his family
and friends and looks for new ways to succeed.
When Dan, the owner of the shop, decides to add a partner to his business, who does he choose?
Who are the most successful people you personally know? How much
knowledge, responsibility and control do they have in their fields?
How often do they increase their knowledge? Their responsibility? Their control?
Do they talk about their failures or their successes?
To become a leader and achieve success, just remember these five
things: increase knowledge, increase responsibility, increase control,
ignore losses and solidify wins.
Recommendations
Raise your KRC for the activity faster and more thoroughly than anyone else and you will become the leader.
1. Decide on the group or project that you want lead. If you are not
yet a part of that activity, take a small position in that group or
project.
2. Increase your knowledge: Learn more about the
activity than anyone. Do more research than anyone. Figure out more
innovative solutions than anyone.
3. Increase your
responsibility: Be a great supporter to the current leader. Volunteer
to do extra work and take on extra duties with no pay. Consider the
success of the project or group to be your personal responsibility.
4. Control: Invest more time and interest in the activity than anyone
else. Take control of every aspect of the project or group, when the
opportunity presents itself.
5. Losses: Do not dwell on
any failures, regrets or mistakes you encounter. Fix them, when
possible, but otherwise, ignore them.
6. Wins: Focus on
your successes each day. Write them down, think about them and talk
about them. Make them a permanent part of your life.
7.
Because you have the most knowledge and responsibility for the success
of the project, an opportunity to take control of the project or group
will eventually appear. When this happens, do not hesitate. Take the
reins!
How to Become a Leader
Becoming the leader of a project, group or business is very thrilling. You get to make the decisions, help more people, earn more pay and have more fun. The technology described in this article outlines exactly how you can do this.
"THE K-R-C TRIANGLE"
"The points are K for KNOWLEDGE, R for RESPONSIBILITY and C for CONTROL."
"It is difficult to be responsible for something or control something unless you have KNOWLEDGE of it."
"It is folly to try to control something or even know something without RESPONSIBILITY."
"It is hard to fully know something or be responsible for something over which you have no CONTROL, otherwise the result can be an overwhelm."
"Little by little one can make anything go right by
"INCREASING KNOWLEDGE . . . ,"
"INCREASING RESPONSIBILITY . . . ,"
"INCREASING CONTROL . . . ."
"If one sorts out any situation one finds oneself in on this basis, he will generally succeed."
"By inching up each corner of the KRC triangle bit by bit, ignoring the losses and making the wins firm, a being at length discovers his power and command of life." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Examples
Terry and Joe work for Dan's Auto Repair. They both want to succeed, but Terry uses the KRC Triangle.
For example, when Joe makes a mistake, he hits the car part with his tool. When Terry makes a mistake, he slows down, adjusts the tool and carefully does the work again. He increases his control.
At 5:00 each night, Joe puts down his tools and walks out the door to get a beer. Terry cleans up his area, oils his tools and puts them away. He increases his responsibility.
During the weekends, Joe watches football while Terry reads auto repair magazines and shop manuals. He increases his knowledge.
Joe gets frustrated when he can't pay his bills, can't get along with his wife and can't get ahead at his job. He complains about all the losses he has had in life to his buddies at the bar every night.
Terry also gets frustrated, but he ignores the losses and rarely talks about them. Instead, he makes his wins firm by sharing them with his family and friends and looks for new ways to succeed.
When Dan, the owner of the shop, decides to add a partner to his business, who does he choose?
Who are the most successful people you personally know? How much knowledge, responsibility and control do they have in their fields?
How often do they increase their knowledge? Their responsibility? Their control?
Do they talk about their failures or their successes?
To become a leader and achieve success, just remember these five things: increase knowledge, increase responsibility, increase control, ignore losses and solidify wins.
Recommendations
Raise your KRC for the activity faster and more thoroughly than anyone else and you will become the leader.
1. Decide on the group or project that you want lead. If you are not yet a part of that activity, take a small position in that group or project.
2. Increase your knowledge: Learn more about the activity than anyone. Do more research than anyone. Figure out more innovative solutions than anyone.
3. Increase your responsibility: Be a great supporter to the current leader. Volunteer to do extra work and take on extra duties with no pay. Consider the success of the project or group to be your personal responsibility.
4. Control: Invest more time and interest in the activity than anyone else. Take control of every aspect of the project or group, when the opportunity presents itself.
5. Losses: Do not dwell on any failures, regrets or mistakes you encounter. Fix them, when possible, but otherwise, ignore them.
6. Wins: Focus on your successes each day. Write them down, think about them and talk about them. Make them a permanent part of your life.
7. Because you have the most knowledge and responsibility for the success of the project, an opportunity to take control of the project or group will eventually appear.
When this happens, do not hesitate. Take the reins!
You Tried to Reach a Goal and Failed . . . Now What?
Have you ever said:
"I have too many problems to reach my goals."
"I'm the wrong age/wrong race/wrong gender/wrong nationality."
"It seems too hard for me to do."
"I'd rather watch TV."
"Whatever made me think I could do that?"
"I'm sick of the whole thing."
"I simply can't do it."
"I'll do it some other time."
"I don't have enough energy."
"I didn't realize it would be this difficult."
"Like most people, I'll never reach my dreams."
"I've lost hope."
Once you start saying, "can't," you are on the downhill road to failure. "I can't do the project." "I can't pay my bills." "I can't succeed." Of course, barriers to success are part of society.
For example, most government regulations outline the things you cannot do. "You can't park there." "You can't keep that money." "Unless you follow these regulations, you can't . . . ." Pick up any law and notice how often the words "Prohibit," "Forbidden" and "Disallowed" occur while words like "Encouraged," "Allowed" and "Recommended" are absent.
Some employers like to act like governments and stop things. "You can't leave early." "You can't have more authority." "You can't do things your own way."
Businesses do it to customers. "We can't see you without an appointment." "I can't give you a discount if you pay in full." "Sorry, we cannot help you."
The real damage occurs when you stop yourself. "I can't handle more work." "I can't earn more money." "I can't change."
Have You Been Stopped?
When all you see in life are problems, you feel stopped. When you decide the forces in the universe are against you, you feel stopped. Whenever you feel like giving up, you feel stopped.
Why might you feel there are so many barriers to your progress?
"STOPS ALL OCCUR BECAUSE OF FAILED PURPOSES. BEHIND EVERY STOP THERE IS A FAILED PURPOSE." -- L. Ron Hubbard
The sequence goes like this:
1. You have a purpose to _________.
For example, do you remember some of your old purposes? Make $20 million. Raise a happy family. Tour Europe. Get involved in the community. Make a major contribution to society. Help people. Buy a mansion.
2. For one reason or other, you decide you have failed to achieve that purpose.
When you made some effort to achieve your purpose, you felt stopped. Maybe achieving the purpose turned out to be more difficult than you expected. Maybe you saw someone else fail. Perhaps you became afraid or lazy. Maybe someone got in your road.
3. You then invent or agree with stops or barriers to your purpose.
"It's too much work for me." "I need a better education first." "They don't want me to do this." "No one succeeds without lucky breaks." "I don't know what to do." "It's better to settle for less."
Some people go even lower and begin to oppose solutions: "Don't try to help me as it is impossible." "I tried all the solutions and none of them work." "No one has the answers." "You should give up, too."
You stop looking for ways to succeed. You avoid setting any goals at all. You feel very tired.
Fortunately, you can turn things around and reach your biggest goals.
The Law Regarding Failed Purposes
"THERE IS A LAW ABOUT THIS -- ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO RESTORE LIFE AND ACTION IS TO REKINDLE* THE FAILED PURPOSE. THE STOPS WILL AT ONCE BLOW." -- L. Ron Hubbard (rekindle: revive or renew)
A simple solution to a very big, difficult problem. Just fire up your original purpose and the stops or barriers magically disappear! Can it be that easy?
Example: Jill, an amateur athlete, wants to enter and finish a 25-mile marathon even though she lost a leg in an auto accident when she was a teenager. She starts to run every day with her prosthetic leg, but trips and falls every mile or so. People keep telling her, "You're so brave!" "I really admire you for trying." "I would have given up long ago." Finally, after missing a few runs, she decides it is too difficult.
She tries to run one morning anyway. Usually, her real leg has a slight cramp, but this morning it feels worse. Jill normally pushes through, but for some reason, she lets it bother her. Suddenly, she falls on the sidewalk and scrapes her elbows and hands. A delivery truck drives by, hits a puddle and soaks her clothes while she is down. She quits for the day.
Each morning a new reason for not running comes up. She has a dental appointment. The weather is bad. The cat runs away. Stops, stops, stops.
She tells her family and friends, "I just didn't realize how tough it would be." "It's too cold and wet out there." "I probably should have given up long ago." The thought of running makes her tired.
Jill then learns the law about failed purposes. She thinks about ways she can fire up her original purpose. "All I wanted to do was enter and finish that stupid 25-mile run! Why did I want to do that? Oh yeah, it wasn't to prove anything. It wasn't to make people admire me. I wanted to run that race long before I lost the leg. I remember when I first saw people finishing the race on TV when I was in junior high school. I thought I should do that. It would be a really great thing to do. I would just prove to myself that I could run 25 miles. THAT was my purpose! I still want that!"
Within seconds, Jill feels great! She sees no reason she can't finish the 25-mile race. She changes her clothes and gets back into training. But this time, she is more determined than ever. "Nothing is going to stop me this time!" The stops have blown off.
Recommendations
1. What have you given up on? What goals did you once have, but now think are impossible? What purposes have failed?
2. FIRE THEM UP! What were your original reasons? Rekindle, renew and revive those original reasons.
3. Make the purposes stronger. Put more energy into them. Convince yourself that you can accomplish those purposes despite all the barriers. Notice what happens to all the "reasons" preventing that purpose.
4. Plan how you will reach these goals. Write down the steps. Focus on how you can succeed.
5. Make one small step toward the goal. Make another. Get some momentum going.
6. Each time you feel like quitting, change your mind and remember your reasons, your goals, your purposes.
7. You never fail until you decide to stop trying, so persist until you win!
"I have too many problems to reach my goals."
"I'm the wrong age/wrong race/wrong gender/wrong nationality."
"It seems too hard for me to do."
"I'd rather watch TV."
"Whatever made me think I could do that?"
"I'm sick of the whole thing."
"I simply can't do it."
"I'll do it some other time."
"I don't have enough energy."
"I didn't realize it would be this difficult."
"Like most people, I'll never reach my dreams."
"I've lost hope."
Once you start saying, "can't," you are on the downhill road to failure. "I can't do the project." "I can't pay my bills." "I can't succeed." Of course, barriers to success are part of society.
For example, most government regulations outline the things you cannot do. "You can't park there." "You can't keep that money." "Unless you follow these regulations, you can't . . . ." Pick up any law and notice how often the words "Prohibit," "Forbidden" and "Disallowed" occur while words like "Encouraged," "Allowed" and "Recommended" are absent.
Some employers like to act like governments and stop things. "You can't leave early." "You can't have more authority." "You can't do things your own way."
Businesses do it to customers. "We can't see you without an appointment." "I can't give you a discount if you pay in full." "Sorry, we cannot help you."
The real damage occurs when you stop yourself. "I can't handle more work." "I can't earn more money." "I can't change."
Have You Been Stopped?
When all you see in life are problems, you feel stopped. When you decide the forces in the universe are against you, you feel stopped. Whenever you feel like giving up, you feel stopped.
Why might you feel there are so many barriers to your progress?
"STOPS ALL OCCUR BECAUSE OF FAILED PURPOSES. BEHIND EVERY STOP THERE IS A FAILED PURPOSE." -- L. Ron Hubbard
The sequence goes like this:
1. You have a purpose to _________.
For example, do you remember some of your old purposes? Make $20 million. Raise a happy family. Tour Europe. Get involved in the community. Make a major contribution to society. Help people. Buy a mansion.
2. For one reason or other, you decide you have failed to achieve that purpose.
When you made some effort to achieve your purpose, you felt stopped. Maybe achieving the purpose turned out to be more difficult than you expected. Maybe you saw someone else fail. Perhaps you became afraid or lazy. Maybe someone got in your road.
3. You then invent or agree with stops or barriers to your purpose.
"It's too much work for me." "I need a better education first." "They don't want me to do this." "No one succeeds without lucky breaks." "I don't know what to do." "It's better to settle for less."
Some people go even lower and begin to oppose solutions: "Don't try to help me as it is impossible." "I tried all the solutions and none of them work." "No one has the answers." "You should give up, too."
You stop looking for ways to succeed. You avoid setting any goals at all. You feel very tired.
Fortunately, you can turn things around and reach your biggest goals.
The Law Regarding Failed Purposes
"THERE IS A LAW ABOUT THIS -- ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO RESTORE LIFE AND ACTION IS TO REKINDLE* THE FAILED PURPOSE. THE STOPS WILL AT ONCE BLOW." -- L. Ron Hubbard (rekindle: revive or renew)
A simple solution to a very big, difficult problem. Just fire up your original purpose and the stops or barriers magically disappear! Can it be that easy?
Example: Jill, an amateur athlete, wants to enter and finish a 25-mile marathon even though she lost a leg in an auto accident when she was a teenager. She starts to run every day with her prosthetic leg, but trips and falls every mile or so. People keep telling her, "You're so brave!" "I really admire you for trying." "I would have given up long ago." Finally, after missing a few runs, she decides it is too difficult.
She tries to run one morning anyway. Usually, her real leg has a slight cramp, but this morning it feels worse. Jill normally pushes through, but for some reason, she lets it bother her. Suddenly, she falls on the sidewalk and scrapes her elbows and hands. A delivery truck drives by, hits a puddle and soaks her clothes while she is down. She quits for the day.
Each morning a new reason for not running comes up. She has a dental appointment. The weather is bad. The cat runs away. Stops, stops, stops.
She tells her family and friends, "I just didn't realize how tough it would be." "It's too cold and wet out there." "I probably should have given up long ago." The thought of running makes her tired.
Jill then learns the law about failed purposes. She thinks about ways she can fire up her original purpose. "All I wanted to do was enter and finish that stupid 25-mile run! Why did I want to do that? Oh yeah, it wasn't to prove anything. It wasn't to make people admire me. I wanted to run that race long before I lost the leg. I remember when I first saw people finishing the race on TV when I was in junior high school. I thought I should do that. It would be a really great thing to do. I would just prove to myself that I could run 25 miles. THAT was my purpose! I still want that!"
Within seconds, Jill feels great! She sees no reason she can't finish the 25-mile race. She changes her clothes and gets back into training. But this time, she is more determined than ever. "Nothing is going to stop me this time!" The stops have blown off.
Recommendations
1. What have you given up on? What goals did you once have, but now think are impossible? What purposes have failed?
2. FIRE THEM UP! What were your original reasons? Rekindle, renew and revive those original reasons.
3. Make the purposes stronger. Put more energy into them. Convince yourself that you can accomplish those purposes despite all the barriers. Notice what happens to all the "reasons" preventing that purpose.
4. Plan how you will reach these goals. Write down the steps. Focus on how you can succeed.
5. Make one small step toward the goal. Make another. Get some momentum going.
6. Each time you feel like quitting, change your mind and remember your reasons, your goals, your purposes.
7. You never fail until you decide to stop trying, so persist until you win!
Get Anything You Want with ARC Affinity, Reality and Communication
"Understanding is composed of affinity, reality and communication." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Affinity: how well you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas
Part 4: ARC in Sales and Negotiations
Even if you are not a professional sales person or negotiator, you do sell and negotiate every day. For example, you might sell an idea to your boss, negotiate dinner plans with your spouse, sell your value as a worker to get a raise, negotiate a lease, convince someone to work for you, negotiate with your son to clean up his room and so on.
Unfortunately, many salespeople and negotiators are taught to treat prospects like the enemy. "Strip off their objections! Make them afraid to buy from anyone else! Push them into a corner! Take away their choices! Nail them to the wall! Push them hard until they agree!"
With the ARC Triangle, you put the relationship first and the sale second. You communicate with the person, have affinity for the person and then reach an agreement with the person. ARC is so powerful, it even makes bad salespeople into wonderful salespeople.
For example, if you try to sell something without first establishing good ARC, the prospect is not going to tell you how he or she feels.
"So are you ready to buy?"
"No, I want to think about it."
"What's there to think about?"
"None of your business."
If you are in good ARC, you get a different response.
"So are you ready to buy?"
"Well, I'm concerned about the price. Can you tell me again how your payment plan works?"
Salespeople with high ARC even get sales because of their excellent ARC! "She was just such a nice person, I couldn't say no."
Because ARC makes your relationships genuine, you do your best to reach an ethical, helpful agreement or sale. People then tell you, "I'm so glad we worked out a deal where we both win!" "If you hadn't helped me, I would have bought the wrong insurance policy." "You really helped us solve so many problems with our finances. Now we can move into this wonderful home. Thank you!"
How to Establish ARC with New Contacts
This sentence from The Problems of Work is very effective in sales and negotiations.
"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard
For example, if you are a smart car salesperson, you silently find something to like about the prospect as you approach. "I like how clean he keeps his car and how straight he stands." Because you have created a little affinity for the prospect, he or she will find it easier to have affinity for you.
Then, you find something on which to agree. "Quite a nice day we're having, would you say?" "Do you like the look of that new model?" "Can I show you around?"
When you attend business or social functions, you can make several new contacts with ARC. Simply walk up to someone, find something you like about him or her, then discover a point of agreement. "What do you like best about these gatherings?" "What is your opinion about _____(the meeting topic)_____?" "What business are you in?"
As a negotiator or deal maker, you have greater success when you first establish ARC with all parties. For example, when you first sit at the negotiation table, you look at each person and find something you like about each. "I like his suit, I like her hair, I like how bright he looks and I like how organized she is."
You then discuss something of which everyone can agree. "Does everyone agree that our goal today should be to find a deal that makes everyone happy?" "Is it okay with everyone if I control the discussions?" "Can everyone work on this for two full hours without interruption?"
Magically, because you start with ARC, you get more done in less time with greater results!
Recommendations
1. Write down a deal you would like to make or an item you would like to sell this week.
2. Write down how you will establish ARC with the people involved.
3. Go do it!
Affinity: how well you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas
Part 4: ARC in Sales and Negotiations
Even if you are not a professional sales person or negotiator, you do sell and negotiate every day. For example, you might sell an idea to your boss, negotiate dinner plans with your spouse, sell your value as a worker to get a raise, negotiate a lease, convince someone to work for you, negotiate with your son to clean up his room and so on.
Unfortunately, many salespeople and negotiators are taught to treat prospects like the enemy. "Strip off their objections! Make them afraid to buy from anyone else! Push them into a corner! Take away their choices! Nail them to the wall! Push them hard until they agree!"
With the ARC Triangle, you put the relationship first and the sale second. You communicate with the person, have affinity for the person and then reach an agreement with the person. ARC is so powerful, it even makes bad salespeople into wonderful salespeople.
For example, if you try to sell something without first establishing good ARC, the prospect is not going to tell you how he or she feels.
"So are you ready to buy?"
"No, I want to think about it."
"What's there to think about?"
"None of your business."
If you are in good ARC, you get a different response.
"So are you ready to buy?"
"Well, I'm concerned about the price. Can you tell me again how your payment plan works?"
Salespeople with high ARC even get sales because of their excellent ARC! "She was just such a nice person, I couldn't say no."
Because ARC makes your relationships genuine, you do your best to reach an ethical, helpful agreement or sale. People then tell you, "I'm so glad we worked out a deal where we both win!" "If you hadn't helped me, I would have bought the wrong insurance policy." "You really helped us solve so many problems with our finances. Now we can move into this wonderful home. Thank you!"
How to Establish ARC with New Contacts
This sentence from The Problems of Work is very effective in sales and negotiations.
"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard
For example, if you are a smart car salesperson, you silently find something to like about the prospect as you approach. "I like how clean he keeps his car and how straight he stands." Because you have created a little affinity for the prospect, he or she will find it easier to have affinity for you.
Then, you find something on which to agree. "Quite a nice day we're having, would you say?" "Do you like the look of that new model?" "Can I show you around?"
When you attend business or social functions, you can make several new contacts with ARC. Simply walk up to someone, find something you like about him or her, then discover a point of agreement. "What do you like best about these gatherings?" "What is your opinion about _____(the meeting topic)_____?" "What business are you in?"
As a negotiator or deal maker, you have greater success when you first establish ARC with all parties. For example, when you first sit at the negotiation table, you look at each person and find something you like about each. "I like his suit, I like her hair, I like how bright he looks and I like how organized she is."
You then discuss something of which everyone can agree. "Does everyone agree that our goal today should be to find a deal that makes everyone happy?" "Is it okay with everyone if I control the discussions?" "Can everyone work on this for two full hours without interruption?"
Magically, because you start with ARC, you get more done in less time with greater results!
Recommendations
1. Write down a deal you would like to make or an item you would like to sell this week.
2. Write down how you will establish ARC with the people involved.
3. Go do it!
The Ultimate New Relationship Tool Affinity, Reality and Communication (ARC)
“The ARC Triangle is the keystone of living
associations.” -- L. Ron Hubbard
Affinity: how well you like or love a person.
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real.
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas.
ARC Triangle: A triangle formed by affinity, reality and communication. When you raise one of the three points, the other two rise as well. When you lower one point, the other two drop.
Understanding: The combined result of affinity, reality and communication.
Part 3: How to Use ARC to Form New Relationships
Wouldn’t it be great if you could become fast friends with nearly everyone you met? If you could make people like you right away? If you could earn the support from everyone you wished to have support from?
For example, you could get strangers to agree with you within a few minutes. You could get the leaders in your field to listen to you and give you whatever you needed. You could earn respect from your coworkers, staff, colleagues, friends and family.
You can do all of these things with ARC. You start by using communication. Simply follow two steps:
"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard (from The Problems of Work)
For example, you want to form a business relationship with a business owner. You invite him to lunch. Where do you start?
1. Find something you like about the owner. You look him over and decide he has a nice smile and good looking shoes. You have some affinity for him. This step is done.
2. Discuss something with which he can agree. He mentions that he hates the hot weather outside. You say, “I can’t stand the heat either, but my wife loves it.” He says, “My wife likes it too. Something is wrong with them.” You both laugh.
You can also ask questions to find something with which to agree. What has he been doing lately? How is his business going? What does he like about his field? What does he do for fun? Does he have any children?
Maybe you learn he loves to play tennis, has trouble with a government regulation and worries about his father’s health. You also have trouble with the same government regulation and so you discuss it. Your ARC with the business owner goes up.
As another example, you are waiting for your flight to Chicago at an airport. You decide to establish ARC with the business woman sitting next to you. First you find something you like about her, perhaps her red-leather briefcase.
So you say, "Nice briefcase!" She smiles and nods. Your affinity is established. You then find something with which she can agree. "Are you from Chicago?" She starts to communicate. You find points of agreement. You have ARC and perhaps a new business relationship.
If you are single and want to meet someone new, these two steps are great for breaking the ice with the opposite sex, even if you feel shy. For example, you notice someone you want to meet in a bookstore. He or she is looking at magazines. You do the first step and find something you like, such as this person’s hair, shoes and voice. You suddenly feel less shy. You then find something with which you can agree. “I need a good magazines. Which ones do you like best?” “I see you like gardening magazines. Me too. Have you seen this one?”
You can use this formula to form relationships with people who are difficult for you to understand. Say you get on that airplane for a long flight to Chicago and are assigned to sit next to a body-pierced, tattooed, pimply-faced teenager with McDonalds Big Mac breath. You follow the formula and find something to like about him: he has a beautiful sunset picture on his t-shirt. You feel a little better about the fellow. You find something with which he can agree. "Where did you get that great shirt?" "What do you like to do after school?" "That is quite a tattoo you have." Before long, you have enough ARC with this teenager to enjoy sitting next to him for the flight.
Recommendations
1. List all the people or types of people with whom you want to form a relationship.
2. Work out a way to use the two steps with each of them:
"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Give it a try!
Affinity: how well you like or love a person.
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real.
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas.
ARC Triangle: A triangle formed by affinity, reality and communication. When you raise one of the three points, the other two rise as well. When you lower one point, the other two drop.
Understanding: The combined result of affinity, reality and communication.
Part 3: How to Use ARC to Form New Relationships
Wouldn’t it be great if you could become fast friends with nearly everyone you met? If you could make people like you right away? If you could earn the support from everyone you wished to have support from?
For example, you could get strangers to agree with you within a few minutes. You could get the leaders in your field to listen to you and give you whatever you needed. You could earn respect from your coworkers, staff, colleagues, friends and family.
You can do all of these things with ARC. You start by using communication. Simply follow two steps:
"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard (from The Problems of Work)
For example, you want to form a business relationship with a business owner. You invite him to lunch. Where do you start?
1. Find something you like about the owner. You look him over and decide he has a nice smile and good looking shoes. You have some affinity for him. This step is done.
2. Discuss something with which he can agree. He mentions that he hates the hot weather outside. You say, “I can’t stand the heat either, but my wife loves it.” He says, “My wife likes it too. Something is wrong with them.” You both laugh.
You can also ask questions to find something with which to agree. What has he been doing lately? How is his business going? What does he like about his field? What does he do for fun? Does he have any children?
Maybe you learn he loves to play tennis, has trouble with a government regulation and worries about his father’s health. You also have trouble with the same government regulation and so you discuss it. Your ARC with the business owner goes up.
As another example, you are waiting for your flight to Chicago at an airport. You decide to establish ARC with the business woman sitting next to you. First you find something you like about her, perhaps her red-leather briefcase.
So you say, "Nice briefcase!" She smiles and nods. Your affinity is established. You then find something with which she can agree. "Are you from Chicago?" She starts to communicate. You find points of agreement. You have ARC and perhaps a new business relationship.
If you are single and want to meet someone new, these two steps are great for breaking the ice with the opposite sex, even if you feel shy. For example, you notice someone you want to meet in a bookstore. He or she is looking at magazines. You do the first step and find something you like, such as this person’s hair, shoes and voice. You suddenly feel less shy. You then find something with which you can agree. “I need a good magazines. Which ones do you like best?” “I see you like gardening magazines. Me too. Have you seen this one?”
You can use this formula to form relationships with people who are difficult for you to understand. Say you get on that airplane for a long flight to Chicago and are assigned to sit next to a body-pierced, tattooed, pimply-faced teenager with McDonalds Big Mac breath. You follow the formula and find something to like about him: he has a beautiful sunset picture on his t-shirt. You feel a little better about the fellow. You find something with which he can agree. "Where did you get that great shirt?" "What do you like to do after school?" "That is quite a tattoo you have." Before long, you have enough ARC with this teenager to enjoy sitting next to him for the flight.
Recommendations
1. List all the people or types of people with whom you want to form a relationship.
2. Work out a way to use the two steps with each of them:
"The way to talk to a man, then, would be to find something to like about him and to discuss something with which he can agree." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Give it a try!
The Ultimate Relationship Repair Tool (Affinity, Reality and Communication)
“Without affinity, there is no reality or communication. Without reality, there
is no affinity or communication. Without communication, there is neither
affinity nor reality. Now, these are sweeping statements, but are nevertheless
very valuable and are true.” -- L. Ron Hubbard
Affinity: how well you like or love a person.
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real.
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas.
Understanding: The combined result of affinity, reality and communication.
By increasing ARC, you can significantly improve your relationships at work and at home, find new friends, make more sales, negotiate better deals, lead your group more effectively and help more people. You will be selected as the best person for a date, for promotions at work, big contracts for your business or whatever you want most from life. Using this tool gives you more self-confidence, greater peace of mind and an improved view of yourself.
Part 1 in this series explains how the ARC Triangle works and how you can increase the amount of ARC you have with someone. Part 2 explains how you can repair upsets you have with others.
Part 2: Breaks in the ARC Triangle
Whenever you feel upset with someone, you have a broken triangle or an "ARC break." Every argument, fight or break up includes an ARC break. Everyone who once liked you and now seeks revenge against you, tries to get even with you or hopes you fail has an ARC break with you.
"The ARC break will vanish magically when the source is found." -- L. Ron Hubbard
You simply find and restore the broken point of the triangle. When did the upset begin? Which point of the triangle had a sudden drop?
Did you suddenly dislike the person (A)?
Did you have a disagreement (R)?
Did you have a communication problem (C)?
Once you spot the problem, you can repair it. If you fix the right problem, the sun shines, the birds sing and everything goes back to normal.
Example: Your accountant calls and says, "I’m sorry to tell you this, but I made a mistake. You need $10,000 by the end of the week to pay your taxes or you’ll get a $5000 penalty.”
You say, "You idiot! I don’t have that kind of money. How could you do this to me!" You hang up. You feel betrayed. You decide the accountant is an enemy and that you should not talk to him again.
Later, you still feel upset. You try to feel better, but you cannot. So you examine the problem to determine if the break in the ARC triangle is A, R or C.
You realize the problem is not that you dislike the accountant, but that your reality is shaken. You disagree with this new reality of owing taxes. This break in the R point of the triangle makes you want less communication. Of course, the A or Affinity point is therefore dropped as well.
Now that you know the problem is a break in reality, you calm down and decide to handle it. You call and say, "Sorry I hung up on you Peter, but the news was a shock to me. You need to explain this as it’s so unreal to me.” Within seconds, you and your accountant work out a solution.
When People Get Upset with You
When someone gets upset with you, you can use your knowledge of the ARC triangle to resolve the problem. For example, Fred, an old friend of yours, is acting odd on the phone. He doesn’t say much and won’t talk to you. You think back and try to determine if the problem is with A, R or C.
You ask yourself, “Did we suddenly dislike each other? No. Did we disagree about something? No. Did we have a communication problem?”
You realize you forgot to return Fred’s call last month (a break in communication) so you say, "I’m really sorry I didn’t call you back last month." Fred suddenly says, “Yeah! Call me when I leave a message so I don’t have to come over there and throw eggs at you, okay?” You both laugh.
As another example, you have been negotiating a contract with Pam and your last offer made her so mad she broke off the meeting and stormed out. Without your knowledge of ARC you might give up on the deal or start using intermediaries.
Instead, you look over the situation and evaluate the ARC. Which point is the most damaged? You realize the R or reality point went bad as no one can agree. How can you repair this break in reality?
You could raise the communication point by trying to call, but that does not seem appropriate. You could send a cheerful greeting card to increase the affinity, but that doesn't sound right either. You want Pam to realize there are more points of agreement than disagreement.
So you fax her a list that describes all the many points of agreement already established along with a request that she calls you when ready to complete the negotiation.
Your telephone rings 10 minutes later. Pam starts the conversation with an apology.
Suggestions
1. Are you currently upset with anyone?
2. If so, which of the three points of the ARC triangle do you think is broken? Is it broken because you dislike the person? Because you disagree with the person? Because you failed to communicate with the person?
3. How could you repair the break? What steps could you take?
4. Take those steps today!
5. Repeat the above four steps for other people you may be upset with.
6. Repeat with anyone who may be upset with you.
7. Repeat with anyone in your past with whom you wish to rekindle a relationship.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Affinity: how well you like or love a person.
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real.
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas.
Understanding: The combined result of affinity, reality and communication.
By increasing ARC, you can significantly improve your relationships at work and at home, find new friends, make more sales, negotiate better deals, lead your group more effectively and help more people. You will be selected as the best person for a date, for promotions at work, big contracts for your business or whatever you want most from life. Using this tool gives you more self-confidence, greater peace of mind and an improved view of yourself.
Part 1 in this series explains how the ARC Triangle works and how you can increase the amount of ARC you have with someone. Part 2 explains how you can repair upsets you have with others.
Part 2: Breaks in the ARC Triangle
Whenever you feel upset with someone, you have a broken triangle or an "ARC break." Every argument, fight or break up includes an ARC break. Everyone who once liked you and now seeks revenge against you, tries to get even with you or hopes you fail has an ARC break with you.
"The ARC break will vanish magically when the source is found." -- L. Ron Hubbard
You simply find and restore the broken point of the triangle. When did the upset begin? Which point of the triangle had a sudden drop?
Did you suddenly dislike the person (A)?
Did you have a disagreement (R)?
Did you have a communication problem (C)?
Once you spot the problem, you can repair it. If you fix the right problem, the sun shines, the birds sing and everything goes back to normal.
Example: Your accountant calls and says, "I’m sorry to tell you this, but I made a mistake. You need $10,000 by the end of the week to pay your taxes or you’ll get a $5000 penalty.”
You say, "You idiot! I don’t have that kind of money. How could you do this to me!" You hang up. You feel betrayed. You decide the accountant is an enemy and that you should not talk to him again.
Later, you still feel upset. You try to feel better, but you cannot. So you examine the problem to determine if the break in the ARC triangle is A, R or C.
You realize the problem is not that you dislike the accountant, but that your reality is shaken. You disagree with this new reality of owing taxes. This break in the R point of the triangle makes you want less communication. Of course, the A or Affinity point is therefore dropped as well.
Now that you know the problem is a break in reality, you calm down and decide to handle it. You call and say, "Sorry I hung up on you Peter, but the news was a shock to me. You need to explain this as it’s so unreal to me.” Within seconds, you and your accountant work out a solution.
When People Get Upset with You
When someone gets upset with you, you can use your knowledge of the ARC triangle to resolve the problem. For example, Fred, an old friend of yours, is acting odd on the phone. He doesn’t say much and won’t talk to you. You think back and try to determine if the problem is with A, R or C.
You ask yourself, “Did we suddenly dislike each other? No. Did we disagree about something? No. Did we have a communication problem?”
You realize you forgot to return Fred’s call last month (a break in communication) so you say, "I’m really sorry I didn’t call you back last month." Fred suddenly says, “Yeah! Call me when I leave a message so I don’t have to come over there and throw eggs at you, okay?” You both laugh.
As another example, you have been negotiating a contract with Pam and your last offer made her so mad she broke off the meeting and stormed out. Without your knowledge of ARC you might give up on the deal or start using intermediaries.
Instead, you look over the situation and evaluate the ARC. Which point is the most damaged? You realize the R or reality point went bad as no one can agree. How can you repair this break in reality?
You could raise the communication point by trying to call, but that does not seem appropriate. You could send a cheerful greeting card to increase the affinity, but that doesn't sound right either. You want Pam to realize there are more points of agreement than disagreement.
So you fax her a list that describes all the many points of agreement already established along with a request that she calls you when ready to complete the negotiation.
Your telephone rings 10 minutes later. Pam starts the conversation with an apology.
Suggestions
1. Are you currently upset with anyone?
2. If so, which of the three points of the ARC triangle do you think is broken? Is it broken because you dislike the person? Because you disagree with the person? Because you failed to communicate with the person?
3. How could you repair the break? What steps could you take?
4. Take those steps today!
5. Repeat the above four steps for other people you may be upset with.
6. Repeat with anyone who may be upset with you.
7. Repeat with anyone in your past with whom you wish to rekindle a relationship.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
The Ultimate Success Tool Get Anything You Want with ARC (Affinity, Reality and Communication)
By using this powerful tool, you can form a meaningful relationship with anyone you like. Based on these relationships, you can get the raise, promotion, sale, contract, friendship, marriage, support or cooperation you need.
“The ARC Triangle is the keystone of living associations.” -- L. Ron Hubbard
ARC (pronounced as A-R-C, not “ark”) forms the basis for all of your relationships. L. Ron Hubbard discovered the rules and uses of ARC during the 1950s.
Every relationship has three parts:
Affinity: how much you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas
These three parts interact with each other and so form a triangle.
Part 1: How ARC Works
Purdue University did a study a few years ago to determine why some of their graduates succeeded and others did not. After several years of analyzing the success of their engineering students, Purdue came to the following conclusions:
"The average salary of the students with the highest grades was only slightly higher than the average salary of all the graduates. The salaries of the most popular students, the ones with the good personalities, were much higher than the average of all students. Also, their salaries were much higher than the students with the highest grades."
A popular personality is based on ARC. When you have good ARC with people, they understand you, believe in you, trust you, help you and feel good about you. ARC is such a powerful tool that the simple lack of ARC results in upsets, distrust, hatred and attacks.
"Understanding is composed of affinity, reality and communication." -- L. Ron Hubbard
The ARC Triangle gives you a deeper understanding of people. When you truly understand your spouse, children, boss, coworkers, employees, customers, clients, neighbors and friends, you can help them, talk to them, reach more agreements and enjoy their company more than ever before.
You have more ARC for some people than others. For example, you have high ARC with a coworker or colleague if you like the person (Affinity), can talk about many subjects (Communication) and agree on many subjects (Reality). You understand this person and this person understands you.
You probably also know someone with whom you have low ARC. You cannot agree on things (Reality), you do not like the person very much (Affinity) and you do not communicate.
In Part One of this series of articles on ARC, you will learn how you can easily increase your ARC with anyone.
How to Increase ARC with Anyone
"The triangle of affinity, reality and communication could be called an interactive triangle in that no point of it can be raised without affecting the other two points and raising them, and no point of it can be lowered without affecting the other two points." -- L. Ron Hubbard
So all you need to do is decide which point of the triangle you can increase and the other two points automatically rise!
In other words, if you increase the volume or quality of communication you have with someone, you are raising the C point of the triangle. As a result, the A point and the R point both rise. If you simply talk about anything to a person for enough time (C), the person likes you more (A) and agrees with you more (R).
For example, you meet a new fellow at work named Richard and instantly dislike him. Maybe his attitude or appearance rubs you the wrong way. You really don’t want to communicate with him (C) or to agree on any reality with him (R). There is little or no understanding.
However, you decide you need to understand Richard so you can work with him. So you ask yourself, “Which of the three points can I raise?” You decide to work on the C part of the triangle and just start talking to him. “Where did you work before?” “How long have you lived in this area?” “Do you have any kids?”
As a result of your communication, you find out he has three kids about the same age as your kids. You share a reality here and so you chat about children. You find yourself agreeing with Richard. Within a few minutes, you realize you like Richard. You understand each other better than before. You look forward to working with him.
As another example, you want to have more ARC and a better understanding of Stella. Stella could be your boss, an important client, a potential mate or other valuable contact. You currently know little about Stella, but have scheduled to meet with her for lunch.
During lunch, you notice Stella is not talking very much. She rarely looks at you and barely smiles. You realize the Communication point of the triangle is not very good with Stella. The Affinity point is also weak as she does not seem to like you very much. So you decide to raise the Reality point of the triangle. You look for things to agree on. “How do you relax after work?” “What kind of exercise do you like?” “Do you have a vacation coming up?”
Stella mentions she loves sailboats and you happen to be a sailboat fanatic. Because of this shared Reality point of the triangle, you and Stella suddenly have a lot to talk about. After several minutes of sailboat chat, you notice she is smiling at you and you feel a higher level Affinity for her.
As a final example, you want a better relationship with your spouse. You have not been talking very much lately and seem to disagree more often than before. You decide to increase the Affinity point of the triangle in your marriage.
Before you go home, you decide to just feel more Affinity. You think of all the things you like about your spouse. After a few minutes, your mood improves and you look forward to going home.
At home, you give your spouse a big smile. You hug and kiss your spouse. At first, he or she is a little shocked, but soon starts to return the affection and your Affinity point rises. You talk about your day’s events (C) and agree (R) on your plans for the evening. Your ARC Triangle is higher than it has been for a while.
This is the power of ARC. With this knowledge, you can rehabilitate or create a wonderful relationship with anyone.
Recommendations
1. Write down something you want. Do not limit yourself to money or physical objects, but consider new opportunities, powerful contacts, new or deeper friendships, contracts or deals, promotions, projects you want to do and so on.
2. List the names of people who can help you get it.
3. Decide which point of the triangle you can increase with each person: Affinity, Reality or Communication.
4. Increase that one point with each person until the other two points of the triangle increase.
5. Continue to increase your ARC Triangle with each person until you reach your objective.
In future articles, we will cover more ways you can use this powerful tool to form friendships with strangers, become a better leader, negotiate better deals, increase your success at work, improve your marriage and boost your self confidence.
“The ARC Triangle is the keystone of living associations.” -- L. Ron Hubbard
ARC (pronounced as A-R-C, not “ark”) forms the basis for all of your relationships. L. Ron Hubbard discovered the rules and uses of ARC during the 1950s.
Every relationship has three parts:
Affinity: how much you like or love a person
Reality: how much agreement you have with a person; what you agree to be real
Communication: your exchange of information and ideas
These three parts interact with each other and so form a triangle.
Part 1: How ARC Works
Purdue University did a study a few years ago to determine why some of their graduates succeeded and others did not. After several years of analyzing the success of their engineering students, Purdue came to the following conclusions:
"The average salary of the students with the highest grades was only slightly higher than the average salary of all the graduates. The salaries of the most popular students, the ones with the good personalities, were much higher than the average of all students. Also, their salaries were much higher than the students with the highest grades."
A popular personality is based on ARC. When you have good ARC with people, they understand you, believe in you, trust you, help you and feel good about you. ARC is such a powerful tool that the simple lack of ARC results in upsets, distrust, hatred and attacks.
"Understanding is composed of affinity, reality and communication." -- L. Ron Hubbard
The ARC Triangle gives you a deeper understanding of people. When you truly understand your spouse, children, boss, coworkers, employees, customers, clients, neighbors and friends, you can help them, talk to them, reach more agreements and enjoy their company more than ever before.
You have more ARC for some people than others. For example, you have high ARC with a coworker or colleague if you like the person (Affinity), can talk about many subjects (Communication) and agree on many subjects (Reality). You understand this person and this person understands you.
You probably also know someone with whom you have low ARC. You cannot agree on things (Reality), you do not like the person very much (Affinity) and you do not communicate.
In Part One of this series of articles on ARC, you will learn how you can easily increase your ARC with anyone.
How to Increase ARC with Anyone
"The triangle of affinity, reality and communication could be called an interactive triangle in that no point of it can be raised without affecting the other two points and raising them, and no point of it can be lowered without affecting the other two points." -- L. Ron Hubbard
So all you need to do is decide which point of the triangle you can increase and the other two points automatically rise!
In other words, if you increase the volume or quality of communication you have with someone, you are raising the C point of the triangle. As a result, the A point and the R point both rise. If you simply talk about anything to a person for enough time (C), the person likes you more (A) and agrees with you more (R).
For example, you meet a new fellow at work named Richard and instantly dislike him. Maybe his attitude or appearance rubs you the wrong way. You really don’t want to communicate with him (C) or to agree on any reality with him (R). There is little or no understanding.
However, you decide you need to understand Richard so you can work with him. So you ask yourself, “Which of the three points can I raise?” You decide to work on the C part of the triangle and just start talking to him. “Where did you work before?” “How long have you lived in this area?” “Do you have any kids?”
As a result of your communication, you find out he has three kids about the same age as your kids. You share a reality here and so you chat about children. You find yourself agreeing with Richard. Within a few minutes, you realize you like Richard. You understand each other better than before. You look forward to working with him.
As another example, you want to have more ARC and a better understanding of Stella. Stella could be your boss, an important client, a potential mate or other valuable contact. You currently know little about Stella, but have scheduled to meet with her for lunch.
During lunch, you notice Stella is not talking very much. She rarely looks at you and barely smiles. You realize the Communication point of the triangle is not very good with Stella. The Affinity point is also weak as she does not seem to like you very much. So you decide to raise the Reality point of the triangle. You look for things to agree on. “How do you relax after work?” “What kind of exercise do you like?” “Do you have a vacation coming up?”
Stella mentions she loves sailboats and you happen to be a sailboat fanatic. Because of this shared Reality point of the triangle, you and Stella suddenly have a lot to talk about. After several minutes of sailboat chat, you notice she is smiling at you and you feel a higher level Affinity for her.
As a final example, you want a better relationship with your spouse. You have not been talking very much lately and seem to disagree more often than before. You decide to increase the Affinity point of the triangle in your marriage.
Before you go home, you decide to just feel more Affinity. You think of all the things you like about your spouse. After a few minutes, your mood improves and you look forward to going home.
At home, you give your spouse a big smile. You hug and kiss your spouse. At first, he or she is a little shocked, but soon starts to return the affection and your Affinity point rises. You talk about your day’s events (C) and agree (R) on your plans for the evening. Your ARC Triangle is higher than it has been for a while.
This is the power of ARC. With this knowledge, you can rehabilitate or create a wonderful relationship with anyone.
Recommendations
1. Write down something you want. Do not limit yourself to money or physical objects, but consider new opportunities, powerful contacts, new or deeper friendships, contracts or deals, promotions, projects you want to do and so on.
2. List the names of people who can help you get it.
3. Decide which point of the triangle you can increase with each person: Affinity, Reality or Communication.
4. Increase that one point with each person until the other two points of the triangle increase.
5. Continue to increase your ARC Triangle with each person until you reach your objective.
In future articles, we will cover more ways you can use this powerful tool to form friendships with strangers, become a better leader, negotiate better deals, increase your success at work, improve your marriage and boost your self confidence.
What Makes You Happy?
What makes you satisfied and content? Why do you get bored? Where is the joy in life?
"Happiness could be defined as the emotion of progress toward desirable goals. There is an instant of contemplation* of the last goal in which one is content. But contentment becomes boredom immediately that new goals do not come to view. There is no more unhappy thing than a man who has accomplished all his ends in life." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*contemplation = thoughtful observation; meditation)
Let's examine three parts of this definition.
1. "There is an instant of contemplation of the last goal in which one is content."
Think of goals you have reached in the past. How did you feel right after your wedding? When you got your first job? When you graduated from school?
Take a fast second to contemplate the last goal you reached. Perhaps you now feel content?
2. "But contentment becomes boredom immediately that new goals do not come to view."
For example, planning a vacation is exciting. But toward the end of a vacation many people are bored as they no longer have a goal.
Arguments during honeymoons are common, if the newlyweds do not set goals for their marriage.
Planning your retirement and the first day of retirement is a thrill. But the joy of freedom quickly turns to boredom and early death if you do not work on new goals.
"There is no more unhappy thing than a man who has accomplished all his ends in life."
Think of a time you were very bored. Had you completed a major goal without starting a new one?
3. "Happiness could be defined as the emotion of progress toward desirable goals."
We can use this definition to understand unhappiness as well. When were you last unhappy?
In each case, you probably
1) had no goal,
2) were trying to reach an undesirable goal, or
3) you were making no progress toward a goal.
Making yourself happy is not difficult. Simply chose desirable goals and make progress toward them!
Give it a Try!
First, select a desirable goal. If you don't have a desirable goal, make one up. What do you really desire?
Second, write down ONE SINGLE THING you can do right now toward this goal. It has to be an action step. Not thinking about it or talking about it. Actual physical motion.
Next, do it! Take that one step right now. Make some small, but real progress. You might be surprised at how easy it is.
Finally, notice if making this little bit of progress makes you happier.
"Happiness could be defined as the emotion of progress toward desirable goals. There is an instant of contemplation* of the last goal in which one is content. But contentment becomes boredom immediately that new goals do not come to view. There is no more unhappy thing than a man who has accomplished all his ends in life." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*contemplation = thoughtful observation; meditation)
Let's examine three parts of this definition.
1. "There is an instant of contemplation of the last goal in which one is content."
Think of goals you have reached in the past. How did you feel right after your wedding? When you got your first job? When you graduated from school?
Take a fast second to contemplate the last goal you reached. Perhaps you now feel content?
2. "But contentment becomes boredom immediately that new goals do not come to view."
For example, planning a vacation is exciting. But toward the end of a vacation many people are bored as they no longer have a goal.
Arguments during honeymoons are common, if the newlyweds do not set goals for their marriage.
Planning your retirement and the first day of retirement is a thrill. But the joy of freedom quickly turns to boredom and early death if you do not work on new goals.
"There is no more unhappy thing than a man who has accomplished all his ends in life."
Think of a time you were very bored. Had you completed a major goal without starting a new one?
3. "Happiness could be defined as the emotion of progress toward desirable goals."
We can use this definition to understand unhappiness as well. When were you last unhappy?
In each case, you probably
1) had no goal,
2) were trying to reach an undesirable goal, or
3) you were making no progress toward a goal.
Making yourself happy is not difficult. Simply chose desirable goals and make progress toward them!
Give it a Try!
First, select a desirable goal. If you don't have a desirable goal, make one up. What do you really desire?
Second, write down ONE SINGLE THING you can do right now toward this goal. It has to be an action step. Not thinking about it or talking about it. Actual physical motion.
Next, do it! Take that one step right now. Make some small, but real progress. You might be surprised at how easy it is.
Finally, notice if making this little bit of progress makes you happier.
Brilliant Ideas Are Old Ideas
George was tired of being broke.
Every day was a struggle. "How will I pay my bills? I'm going deeper into debt.
I can't afford to buy anything."
So George constantly worked on new ways to make money.
"If I could invent a new can opener, all my money problems would be over."
"Maybe I could sell funny hats on the Internet."
"If I found some investors, I could open a new underwater restaurant."
George had tried a few ideas, such as manufacturing a razor blade that never got dull, building the world's largest tree swing and a selling lamps made of salt.
All his new ventures had failed.
To survive, he had to work at McDonald's as an assistant manager.
George felt he should solve his money problems with new ideas.
Unfortunately, unproven ideas are often wrong.
Affluence
"Affluence* Attainment, consists of: ... Doing the things that won, not new things untried as yet." -- L. Ron Hubbard(Affluence: abundance; wealth)
You enjoy affluence, not from new ideas, but from things that have already worked.
George decides to try out this approach. He asks himself, "What has made me money in the past?"
He lists the following:
* Selling shoes at a store paid $350 per week.
* Selling sunglasses at weekend festivals paid $1000per weekend.
* Buying old cars, fixing them up and selling them.
The last car he restored, a 1961 Ford Mustang, earned $1500 profit with two weeks of work.
* Working at McDonald's pays $560 per week.
George realizes he can go back to his two best-paying jobs immediately: sunglasses and car restoration.
He convinces the sunglass company to give him 200 pairs on credit so he can sell them at an outdoor market that weekend. He then finds a wrecked 1988 Mercedes and makes a deal to buy it for $500, on credit.
George quits his McDonald's job. He makes $800 selling sunglasses that weekend. He spends three weeks on the Mercedes and sells it for $4500.
George uses old, proven ideas to boost his income.
How Businesses Achieve Affluence
When a business sticks to proven ideas, and avoids untried methods, it usually succeeds.
For example, the owner of an auto dealership notices his car sales are dropping.
His marketing director says, "We need a new TV commercial.
Let's use elephants! We've never tried it before. It'll be great!"
The smart owner says, "Let's wait on the elephants. Instead, find which of our old commercials worked best.
What made our sales jump up?"
The marketing director comes back the next day and says, "I hate to tell you this, but our best TV commercial is that one of you wearing diapers and crying. You swore to never show that commercial again."
The owner says, "I hate that commercial. Oh well, show it again. In fact, buy twice as many time slots!
And schedule the film crew to shoot a new commercial with me in the diaper.
I'm really going to cry this time!"
Car sales and income jump to new levels.
Doing things that won is essential to good business.
Copying Ideas
If you do not have anything that has made you succeed in the past, you must still avoid new ideas. Instead, do things that worked for others.
For example, you want a career helping people and making a decent income. You write down the careers of everyone you know. You realize your uncle Jay, who is a dentist, helps a lot of people and makes an excellent income.
You take your uncle to lunch and ask how he became a successful dentist.
As another example, you want a successful marriage and family. You find who has been happily married for a long time and has a successful family.
You learn all you can about what helped them succeed and then copy their ideas.
If you want to succeed in any kind of job or business, interview the people who are succeeding. Find out what worked for them.
Use these ideas as they are proven, not untried as yet. Luckily, most successful people enjoy talking about their success secrets and do not worry about competition.
Doing things that won for you or others is reliable route to success.
Four Steps to Boost Your Income
1. Make a list of income ideas you are using that are new and unproven.
2. Work out a plan to drop these idea.
3. Make a list of income ideas that have worked for you or others.
4. Next to each item on both lists, write down how you can use these ideas to boost your income.
Every day was a struggle. "How will I pay my bills? I'm going deeper into debt.
I can't afford to buy anything."
So George constantly worked on new ways to make money.
"If I could invent a new can opener, all my money problems would be over."
"Maybe I could sell funny hats on the Internet."
"If I found some investors, I could open a new underwater restaurant."
George had tried a few ideas, such as manufacturing a razor blade that never got dull, building the world's largest tree swing and a selling lamps made of salt.
All his new ventures had failed.
To survive, he had to work at McDonald's as an assistant manager.
George felt he should solve his money problems with new ideas.
Unfortunately, unproven ideas are often wrong.
Affluence
"Affluence* Attainment, consists of: ... Doing the things that won, not new things untried as yet." -- L. Ron Hubbard(Affluence: abundance; wealth)
You enjoy affluence, not from new ideas, but from things that have already worked.
George decides to try out this approach. He asks himself, "What has made me money in the past?"
He lists the following:
* Selling shoes at a store paid $350 per week.
* Selling sunglasses at weekend festivals paid $1000per weekend.
* Buying old cars, fixing them up and selling them.
The last car he restored, a 1961 Ford Mustang, earned $1500 profit with two weeks of work.
* Working at McDonald's pays $560 per week.
George realizes he can go back to his two best-paying jobs immediately: sunglasses and car restoration.
He convinces the sunglass company to give him 200 pairs on credit so he can sell them at an outdoor market that weekend. He then finds a wrecked 1988 Mercedes and makes a deal to buy it for $500, on credit.
George quits his McDonald's job. He makes $800 selling sunglasses that weekend. He spends three weeks on the Mercedes and sells it for $4500.
George uses old, proven ideas to boost his income.
How Businesses Achieve Affluence
When a business sticks to proven ideas, and avoids untried methods, it usually succeeds.
For example, the owner of an auto dealership notices his car sales are dropping.
His marketing director says, "We need a new TV commercial.
Let's use elephants! We've never tried it before. It'll be great!"
The smart owner says, "Let's wait on the elephants. Instead, find which of our old commercials worked best.
What made our sales jump up?"
The marketing director comes back the next day and says, "I hate to tell you this, but our best TV commercial is that one of you wearing diapers and crying. You swore to never show that commercial again."
The owner says, "I hate that commercial. Oh well, show it again. In fact, buy twice as many time slots!
And schedule the film crew to shoot a new commercial with me in the diaper.
I'm really going to cry this time!"
Car sales and income jump to new levels.
Doing things that won is essential to good business.
Copying Ideas
If you do not have anything that has made you succeed in the past, you must still avoid new ideas. Instead, do things that worked for others.
For example, you want a career helping people and making a decent income. You write down the careers of everyone you know. You realize your uncle Jay, who is a dentist, helps a lot of people and makes an excellent income.
You take your uncle to lunch and ask how he became a successful dentist.
As another example, you want a successful marriage and family. You find who has been happily married for a long time and has a successful family.
You learn all you can about what helped them succeed and then copy their ideas.
If you want to succeed in any kind of job or business, interview the people who are succeeding. Find out what worked for them.
Use these ideas as they are proven, not untried as yet. Luckily, most successful people enjoy talking about their success secrets and do not worry about competition.
Doing things that won for you or others is reliable route to success.
Four Steps to Boost Your Income
1. Make a list of income ideas you are using that are new and unproven.
2. Work out a plan to drop these idea.
3. Make a list of income ideas that have worked for you or others.
4. Next to each item on both lists, write down how you can use these ideas to boost your income.
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