Have you ever hated someone without knowing why?
Perhaps before you hated the person, you tried to help him or her.
For example, Jill says, "Can you give me a $3000 loan?"
You say, "No, I won't give you a loan, but I can show you how to get a raise."
Jill says, "Forget it! If I wanted your advice, I'd ask for it."
You suddenly feel mad at Jill.
"If
you think of somebody you hate, you can probably remember a time
when you tried to help him or a man like him. Your hatred,
actually, is based on the fact that you flopped." -- L. Ron
Hubbard
You tried to help someone and you flopped. Perhaps
you gave some bad advice. Maybe the person didn't want the kind
of help you offered.
Does someone hate you?
Did that person ever try to help you? Was it useless help? Did you reject his or her help?
It's a rotten feeling to try to help someone and fail.
How to Resolve This Hatred
"Pick
a person that you've tried to help and get a discussion going on
the subject of help. I'll guarantee that if you had a bad time
trying to help that person, you're going to enter into one of the
wilder discussions that you have been in for some time." -- L. Ron
Hubbard
So instead of ignoring the person or talking about
problems, talk about the subject of "help." Discuss giving help,
receiving help, problems with help and so on.
Ten Sample Questions to Open the Discussion
1. Do you like getting help?
2. Do you like helping others?
3. How do you feel about me helping you?
4. How do you feel about helping me?
5. Have you ever tried to help me, but couldn't?
6. Is there a time I tried to help you, but I couldn't?
7. Do you wish you could help more people?
8. Do you wish more people could help you?
9. In the future, how can I help you?
10. In the future, do you want to help me? In what ways?
"Help is the most acceptable subject you ever discussed with anybody." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Give it a try!
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