To Love and To Be Vulnerable



“We admire each other for our strengths, but we care for each other most for our vulnerabilities.” – Wisdom Nwani

It is our vulnerabilities that help us to love each other more. They give us a chance to offer something for another, to protect our beloved, even to suffer with someone else’s pain. With our vulnerabilities, we easily pass from pride and pretense towards the heart of a person, a heart that needs to be loved.

Who has not understood a person better after he has seen him at his most vulnerable? Who has not known another better after that person has taken of his mask of invincibility?

God Himself became vulnerable for us. For us He became a vulnerable child, willing to be fed and taken care of. For us He became man, subject to the same hunger and temptations we go through. For us, He experienced suffering, and even death.

God has no need for anything, but He allowed Himself to become vulnerable to give us the chance to love Him even more.

“…for I was hungry, and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me drink. I was a stranger, and you took me in. I was naked, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you visited me. I was in prison, and you came to me.” – Matthew 25, WEB

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

To love is to be vulnerable.”- C.S. Lewis

People Who Want You to Fail (Part One)




The biggest barrier to a successful career is not a lack of opportunities, the job market or your city. It's certain people.

Specifically, antisocial people—people who are devious, mean-spirited, cruel, hostile or negative. People who oppose you, treat you with disrespect and cause you trouble.
"When we trace the cause of a failing business, we will inevitably discover somewhere in its ranks the antisocial personality hard at work."

"It is important then to examine and list the attributes of the antisocial personality. Influencing as it does the daily lives of so many, it well behooves* decent people to become better informed on this subject." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*behooves: to be necessary or proper for)

One of the most famous antisocial personalities was Adolf Hitler. Hitler loved children and pets. He was a vegetarian who neither smoked nor drank. He was kind and considerate to the ladies, secretaries and chauffeurs. People thought Hitler was a nice guy, yet he ordered the deaths of millions.
Most antisocial personalities are not famous. In fact, they are rarely obvious.
Antisocial personalities can be anyone: doctors, lawyers, politicians, business leaders, police officers, newspaper reporters, employees, men, women, old, young . . . anyone. They can be family members, spouses and colleagues. You probably know a few antisocial people.


When antisocial people are openly nasty or critical of you, you know who they are. They say, "You are a stupid idiot" or "That idea of yours is the worst idea I've ever heard." They stab you in your chest, not your back.
However, the worst types of antisocial persons are those who hide their true intentions. They stab you in the back so you can't catch them. They say, "Everyone thinks your ideas are silly" or "I heard a rumor the police might be investigating you" or "You look so tired; why don't you take a vacation?"
Antisocials make you ill. For example, you are enjoying your day and getting a lot done. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, you feel a little upset. Your stomach and head hurt.


So you review who just talked to you. Mary gave you a report and made a nice comment about the weather. Fred asked to borrow your pen and was very polite. The computer guy needed to look at your computer and told you how everyone hates your new software.


You think, "What was the computer guy talking about? Why did he waste so much of my time? And why are the computers always having problems? I'd better watch out for this guy."
Suddenly, you feel better. You have spotted an antisocial person. Your day is pleasant again.
L. Ron Hubbard identified certain characteristics of the antisocial person. The first way to spot them is to notice how they speak.

Generalities

"The antisocial personality has the following attributes:

"1. He or she speaks only in very broad generalities. They say . . .' ‘Everybody thinks . . .' ‘Everyone knows . . .' and such expressions are in continual use, particularly when imparting rumor." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Have you ever been to a meeting when someone said, "We're all having troubles because of the government," "People don't like anyone who's too successful" or "Everyone in this area is having a rough time"? These are generalities.

Whenever you hear a statement that starts, "Everyone says . . . " or "All the citizens feel . . . " or "The employees think . . . ," you must perk up your ears. You have just heard the beginning of a generality.
Now if the generality is a good message, you can relax. "Everyone thinks you are doing a great job!" "No one was late today." "All the carpenters appreciate the wood you bought."


However, if the message is negative, the speaker is pointing a knife at you. "No one believes your little act." "Everyone thinks the pay is too low." "No one wears their hair like that any more."

One reason the news media is such a bad influence on society is because of their generalities. Just listen to the news or read a newspaper and you see generalities. "America was shocked and saddened . . ." "Sources revealed that . . ." "Critics wonder why . . ."

How to Respond


"When asked, ‘Who is everybody . . .' it normally turns out to be one source and from this source the antisocial person has manufactured what he or she pretends is the whole opinion of the whole society." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Example:


You: "Nancy, you say everyone thinks I make too much money. Who exactly?"

Nancy: "Oh, uh, well, you know, everyone I talk to. It's common knowledge."

You: "Can you tell me who exactly?"

Nancy: "I don't know, I can't remember. I'll ask around."

You: "Okay, but if no one really said it, you need to stop saying things like that to me."

Social Personality


While the antisocials are tearing down the world, the social personalities are improving it. Constructive people make life better for those around them. Fortunately, most people are social personalities.

Social personalities are opposite of the antisocial personality. For example, they are specific.

"The social personality is specific in relating circumstances. ‘Joe Jones said . . . ‘ 'The Star Newspaper reported . . . ‘ and gives sources of data where important or possible.

"He may use the generality of ‘they' or ‘people' but seldom in connection with attributing statements or opinions of an alarming nature." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Examples:


"Patty and Joan want raises." "Everyone's happy you're back from vacation." "Steve loved your speech."

Even if the social personality is passing bad news, it is not upsetting. For example, "Kelly and Roger closed their business so they could help their son produce documentaries." An anti-social would say, "Everyone's business is going down the tubes, just like Kelly and Roger's."

Recommendation


Every time you hear a generality regarding bad news this week, reject the information. Assume the person is either careless or antisocial. Instead, ask "Who is everybody?" or "Who exactly?"