Love Breaks Down The Strongest Walls

'When you like someone, you like them in spite of their faults. When you love someone, you love them with their faults.

How can you hope against all hope? How can you continue to believe that there will be a way even when there seems to be none? How can you see joy when your eyes are full of tears?

Faith Is Important!

“Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” – Luke 23:34, WEB-BE

Sometimes, people are not really as bad as they seem to be. That is why we should give a little more room to doubt rather than judgment, and to forgiveness rather than hate.

Always Be Joyful

“Joy is prayer – Joy is strength – Joy is love – Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.” – Mother Teresa

The circumstances in life do not always bring about happiness. But this doesn’t mean that we cannot find joy where we are. Ours is the greatest joy in knowing God Himself came down from heaven, suffered, died and lived again for our sake, to give us eternal happiness. And so in whatever situation we may be, we have joy, if not in actual possession of it, in our certain hope that it will be ours.

Some Lessons in Our Journey Called Life

“We may run, walk, stumble. drive, or fly, but let us never lose sight of the reason for the journey, or miss a chance to see a rainbow on the way.” – Gloria Gaither

God’s Answer

“God is more anxious to bestow His blessings on us than we are to receive them.” – St. Augustine

Friend, I've discovered that God’s answer isn’t always what we expect it to be. It may not even arrive at the time we thought it would. One thing is certain however, that God’s answer will always be in response to His love.

Hope doesn’t Disappoint Us!

“The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” – George Washington Burnap

What It Means To Walk With God

‘Put on Christ!’ …and you will see the wings of hope spreading and letting you journey with joy towards the future…” – Pope Francis

I’ve been to a lot of places.  I’ve had very

Not All Is Lost

“It has been said that life has treated me harshly; and sometimes I have complained in my heart because many pleasures of human experience have been withheld from me…if much has been denied me, much, very much, has been given me…” – Helen Keller (deaf and blind author, lecturer and political activist)

We all suffer some kind of loss somehow. Few are those who are able to go through life unscarred. Some suffer the loss of a job.

To Understand One Another

“Without mercy we have little chance nowadays of becoming part of a world of ‘wounded’ persons in need of understanding, forgiveness, love.”- Pope Francis

Those who seem tough aren’t always the strongest. Those who always seem to know it all aren’t always the wisest. Those who seem righteous aren’t always the holiest ones.

Heroic Love

“Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, WEB-BE

There are many kinds of love:

What is Success?

Success doesn't necessarily have to mean victory
or winning.

Success can simply be your daily efforts to reach
a desired goal or achievement.

College is a great example of this. It can take up
to four years to complete a bachelor's degree.

You wouldn't tell someone at the end of their freshman year that they weren't successful because they haven't reached senior status or the end result yet, would you? No, probably not.

You would congratulate them on their success thus
far and encourage them on their path to the end goal!

What dreams are you pursuing?

Can you take time out today to see what successes you can pull from earlier steps on your journey to encourage you to press on?

Truly congratulate yourself for getting this far.
Then keep pressing on until you reach that goal!

It's worth it!

Your dreams are worth it!

And most importantly YOU are worth it!

I'm always so happy to be in a position to share powerful success tools with you. And this one is incredible.

Have a Magnificent Monday!

The life of the body is a heart at peace, but envy rots the bones. -Proverbs 14:30, WEB

Why compare yourself with another? If you find that they are better, wouldn’t your envy just be aroused? If you find that you are far better, wouldn't pride just fill your heart?

For what is the point in always being conscious of where we stand as compared with another? What is the point of always competing and striving to be the very best?

God has made only one person that is you, there is no other. If you would like to be the best, be the best of who you are and you will find your peace.

“Our Christian destiny is, in fact, a great one: but we cannot achieve greatness unless we lose all interest in being great. For our own idea of greatness is illusory, and if we pay too much attention to it we will be lured out of the peace and stability of the being God gave us, and seek to live in a myth we have created for ourselves. And when we are truly ourselves we lose most of the futile self-consciousness that keeps us constantly comparing ourselves with others in order to see how big we are.” - Thomas Merton

“Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.” – Harold Coffin

It was St. Augustine’s argument that envy and hatred try to pierce our neighbor with a sword, when the blade cannot reach him unless it first passes through our own body.- Thomas Merton

Why do we always have to be the one to understand, to forgive, to be kind, to love? Why must we be the one to be good? Isn’t it unfair that we’re only the ones trying to treat other people in the right way?

Using our natural human instincts, we feel a certain tendency to think of fairness in this way of thinking. We’re trying so hard to be good; therefore, others should also do their part. If they don’t do their part, isn’t it only fair that we don’t do ours?

But what happens then when we follow this line of thought? Are we indeed better off by inclining to evil just because others are doing the same?

It isn’t only to the other person’s benefit that we are being called to do what is right. It is first of all for our own sake. We try to understand others because it is by doing so that we are able to lift the burden of hurt we’re carrying within us. We try to forgive because only in doing so can we be truly healed. We try to be kind because it makes our own souls beautiful. We try to love because only in loving can we find the true meaning and happiness we’ve been searching for.

Don’t seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God’s wrath. For it is written, “Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.” Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing so, you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. – Romans 12:19-21, WEB

Do You Know That You Are Loved?

“Today, many people are angry and hurt not because they are not loved, but because they don’t really know how much they are loved.” – Wisdom Nwani

You may not know it, but you are loved. You may think you’re alone, but you are not. You may feel like you’re worthless, but you are priceless in someone’s eyes.

Why can’t we see it? Why can’t we see what we so badly need?

Why do we feel as though we’re being judged instead of being cared for? And why do we think we’re being condemned when we’re actually being saved?

Love saves. Love heals. Love pursues us, but we so often run away.

Are you running away? Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? Are you willing to wait and stand still to see the one who’s been looking for you all along?

“Seeing with the eyes of Christ, I can give to others much more than their outward necessities; I can give them the look of love which they crave.” – Pope Benedict XVI, God is Love

“The cross is like a touch of eternal love upon the most painful wounds of man’s earthly existence…” – St. John Paul II

If We Could Listen With Our Hearts

May we always try to listen not only with our ears, but with our hearts. Wisdom Nwani

Much of the really important words often remain unsaid. Out of the many things we say, we reserve what we really mean within our own hearts. I guess this is one reason why we often fail to understand each other.

If only we had the honesty and the courage to say how much we really love another. If we only had that childlike simplicity to voice out what we really need or how we really feel. Maybe then we’d get to know each other better, deeper. Maybe we could finally give each other what we really need – whether it be space, apology, encouragement or affection.

Today, let’s try to listen, really listen to what other people are saying. Because somewhere beneath the anger, somewhere beneath the pride and the noise and the laughter, there is that part that longs to be really heard.

If I knew you and you knew me,
If both of us could clearly see,
And with an inner sight divine
The meaning of your heart and mine,
I’m sure that we would differ less
And clasp our hands in friendliness;
Our thoughts would pleasantly agree
If I knew you, and you knew me.
-Nixon Waterman

The Wise One: Pride Is Never Worth Paying For

The Wise One: Pride Is Never Worth Paying For: When we are too proud to admit our mistakes, we often lose something that is utterly more important than our useless pride . –Wisdom Nwani...

Pride Is Never Worth Paying For

When we are too proud to admit our mistakes, we often lose something that is utterly more important than our useless pride

. –Wisdom Nwani

Let not pride make you pay an utterly high cost. Let it not take you away from those you love. Let it not stop you from reaching out and admitting your mistakes. Let it not rob you of many years of friendship for a short moment of misunderstanding.

A single word can often bring back what was lost. A simple gesture of apology can often heal a hurting heart.

What is pride but being alone in our own self-made prison, beyond the reach of those we love? What is pride but an illusion of victory, where in truth we suffer the defeat of not having what we truly desire?

“Humility makes men angels, and pride makes angels devils.” – St. Augustine

To Love and To Be Vulnerable

“We admire each other for our strengths, but we care for each other most for our vulnerabilities.” – Wisdom Nwani

It is our vulnerabilities that help us to love each other more. They give us a chance to offer something for another, to protect our beloved, even to suffer with someone else’s pain. With our vulnerabilities, we easily pass from pride and pretense towards the heart of a person, a heart that needs to be loved.

Who has not understood a person better after he has seen him at his most vulnerable? Who has not known another better after that person has taken of his mask of invincibility?

God Himself became vulnerable for us. For us He became a vulnerable child, willing to be fed and taken care of. For us He became man, subject to the same hunger and temptations we go through. For us, He experienced suffering, and even death.

God has no need for anything, but He allowed Himself to become vulnerable to give us the chance to love Him even more.

“…for I was hungry, and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me drink. I was a stranger, and you took me in. I was naked, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you visited me. I was in prison, and you came to me.” – Matthew 25, WEB

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

To love is to be vulnerable.”- C.S. Lewis

People Who Want You to Fail (Part One)

The biggest barrier to a successful career is not a lack of opportunities, the job market or your city. It's certain people.

Specifically, antisocial people—people who are devious, mean-spirited, cruel, hostile or negative. People who oppose you, treat you with disrespect and cause you trouble.
"When we trace the cause of a failing business, we will inevitably discover somewhere in its ranks the antisocial personality hard at work."

"It is important then to examine and list the attributes of the antisocial personality. Influencing as it does the daily lives of so many, it well behooves* decent people to become better informed on this subject." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*behooves: to be necessary or proper for)

One of the most famous antisocial personalities was Adolf Hitler. Hitler loved children and pets. He was a vegetarian who neither smoked nor drank. He was kind and considerate to the ladies, secretaries and chauffeurs. People thought Hitler was a nice guy, yet he ordered the deaths of millions.
Most antisocial personalities are not famous. In fact, they are rarely obvious.
Antisocial personalities can be anyone: doctors, lawyers, politicians, business leaders, police officers, newspaper reporters, employees, men, women, old, young . . . anyone. They can be family members, spouses and colleagues. You probably know a few antisocial people.


When antisocial people are openly nasty or critical of you, you know who they are. They say, "You are a stupid idiot" or "That idea of yours is the worst idea I've ever heard." They stab you in your chest, not your back.
However, the worst types of antisocial persons are those who hide their true intentions. They stab you in the back so you can't catch them. They say, "Everyone thinks your ideas are silly" or "I heard a rumor the police might be investigating you" or "You look so tired; why don't you take a vacation?"
Antisocials make you ill. For example, you are enjoying your day and getting a lot done. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, you feel a little upset. Your stomach and head hurt.


So you review who just talked to you. Mary gave you a report and made a nice comment about the weather. Fred asked to borrow your pen and was very polite. The computer guy needed to look at your computer and told you how everyone hates your new software.


You think, "What was the computer guy talking about? Why did he waste so much of my time? And why are the computers always having problems? I'd better watch out for this guy."
Suddenly, you feel better. You have spotted an antisocial person. Your day is pleasant again.
L. Ron Hubbard identified certain characteristics of the antisocial person. The first way to spot them is to notice how they speak.

Generalities

"The antisocial personality has the following attributes:

"1. He or she speaks only in very broad generalities. They say . . .' ‘Everybody thinks . . .' ‘Everyone knows . . .' and such expressions are in continual use, particularly when imparting rumor." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Have you ever been to a meeting when someone said, "We're all having troubles because of the government," "People don't like anyone who's too successful" or "Everyone in this area is having a rough time"? These are generalities.

Whenever you hear a statement that starts, "Everyone says . . . " or "All the citizens feel . . . " or "The employees think . . . ," you must perk up your ears. You have just heard the beginning of a generality.
Now if the generality is a good message, you can relax. "Everyone thinks you are doing a great job!" "No one was late today." "All the carpenters appreciate the wood you bought."


However, if the message is negative, the speaker is pointing a knife at you. "No one believes your little act." "Everyone thinks the pay is too low." "No one wears their hair like that any more."

One reason the news media is such a bad influence on society is because of their generalities. Just listen to the news or read a newspaper and you see generalities. "America was shocked and saddened . . ." "Sources revealed that . . ." "Critics wonder why . . ."

How to Respond


"When asked, ‘Who is everybody . . .' it normally turns out to be one source and from this source the antisocial person has manufactured what he or she pretends is the whole opinion of the whole society." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Example:


You: "Nancy, you say everyone thinks I make too much money. Who exactly?"

Nancy: "Oh, uh, well, you know, everyone I talk to. It's common knowledge."

You: "Can you tell me who exactly?"

Nancy: "I don't know, I can't remember. I'll ask around."

You: "Okay, but if no one really said it, you need to stop saying things like that to me."

Social Personality


While the antisocials are tearing down the world, the social personalities are improving it. Constructive people make life better for those around them. Fortunately, most people are social personalities.

Social personalities are opposite of the antisocial personality. For example, they are specific.

"The social personality is specific in relating circumstances. ‘Joe Jones said . . . ‘ 'The Star Newspaper reported . . . ‘ and gives sources of data where important or possible.

"He may use the generality of ‘they' or ‘people' but seldom in connection with attributing statements or opinions of an alarming nature." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Examples:


"Patty and Joan want raises." "Everyone's happy you're back from vacation." "Steve loved your speech."

Even if the social personality is passing bad news, it is not upsetting. For example, "Kelly and Roger closed their business so they could help their son produce documentaries." An anti-social would say, "Everyone's business is going down the tubes, just like Kelly and Roger's."

Recommendation


Every time you hear a generality regarding bad news this week, reject the information. Assume the person is either careless or antisocial. Instead, ask "Who is everybody?" or "Who exactly?"

The Power of Your Imagination (Part One)

If you were locked up in prison for ten years, how would you keep your sanity?

If you feel locked in a bad marriage, bad job or bad living arrangement, it might seem like you are in prison. The stress and depression can be unbearable.

Even waiting in long lines, traffic jams or boring meetings can feel like jail.

Fortunately, you have the ability to improve your mood in any situation. "Imagination is a good thing, not a bad thing. With daydreaming, for instance, a person can convert a not-too-pleasant existence into something livable." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Instead of feeling frustrated while sitting in a traffic jam, have a daydream about your next vacation.

You can lay in your hospital bed for hours, with nothing to do, and enjoy a daydream about a shopping trip.

You can spend an entire day in a jail cell while imagining a day at the beach.

Your imagination reduces your stress and lightens your mood. Instead of enduring life, you enjoy it. You control the dream; the dream does not control you.

Imagination is so powerful, it can do much more than make bad conditions more bearable. "Imagination could be classified as the ability to create or forecast a future or to create, change or destroy a present or past." -- L. Ron Hubbard

Destroy a Past After being married to Bill for 10 years, Julie has an brief affair with an old boyfriend. She breaks off the affair and tells her husband Bill what she did. Months later, Bill tells his friend, "I've tried, but I just can't forgive her. I want us to have a wonderful marriage, but all I can think about is her in a motel bed with her old boyfriend." Bill's friend, who knows the power of imagination, says, "Use your imagination to fix this.

Imagine she never had the affair." Bill does this. "Okay. Julie never even saw this guy. It never happened. She was shopping." He closes his eyes and puts his imagination to work. A few minutes later, he says, "Fantastic! I feel better about this.

I even think I can forgive her now." Of course, Bill knows Julie was unfaithful, but the past incident no longer ruins his marriage.

He used his imagination to destroy the affair.

Change the Present

Liz works for a nasty, mean boss. "Liz! I told you to clean my bathroom. Get to work you stupid cow!" She feels like crying whenever he yells at her. Liz uses her imagination to change the present. "I'm going to imagine my boss is only five years old and I let him think he's really important."

Now, when the boss yells at Liz, she secretly smiles at his tantrums. Liz uses her imagination to change the present.

Create a Future

Three years after graduating from high school, Charles is still broke. "I work hard at ABC Computers, but I just can't get ahead. And I don't want to fix computers for the rest of my life." Charles uses his imagination to create a future. "I will create a new website that millions of people will pay to use. It will be valuable, but inexpensive. It will become very popular and will make me wealthy." He daydreams about his new website every day. He thinks of several new ideas.

He imagines how each page would work. Using his imagination, he even solves all the problems that may occur with his future website business.

Charles arranges to get transferred to the ABC Computers website design team. When his new boss recognizes his creativity, she gives him exciting new projects.

Charles enjoys his new work a great deal. His pay doubles within a few months.

Charles keeps imagining his own website business and works on it at home every night.

Charles used his imagination to change his future.

Four More Ways to Use Your Imagination to Succeed

1. Use your imagination to feel happier. Mentally see yourself smiling and feeling good. Try it right now. Imagine you will feel energized and happy in 60 seconds.

2. If you own a business, constantly imagine how you can provide a better service or a better product. As you turn these imagined improvements into reality, you increase your income.

3. A great way to increase your income as an employee is to do the same thing. Imagine getting more work done than ever before. Imagine ways your work becomes more valuable. Imagine your boss being so delighted with you that you get raises and promotions.

4. Use your imagination to change a condition with your body.

For example,

if you are ill, imagine the disease slowly dissolving. If you have a layer of fat you don't like, imagine it disappearing. If you wish to look more attractive, use your imagination to make it so. If you wish you were shorter or taller, had more hair, had more energy, looked younger or whatever, simply imagine the change.

If you maintain your imaginary appearance over time, don't be too surprised if your body changes! Happy New Month!

How to Motivate Yourself

As you know, you cause some things and you are the effect of other things.

You could say that when you are causing things, you are CAUSE.

When someone else causes an effect on you, you could say that you are EFFECT.

Thousands of people buy motivation tapes because they want the tapes to make them be EFFECT.

They want the speaker on the tape to fire them up and get them going. They believe the tape gives them energy. Other people believe drugs will motivate them. They want to swallow a pill and then be energized. They want to be EFFECT of the drug.

Employees who sit around waiting for the boss to motivate them are also EFFECT.

Bosses hate the burden of having to motivate everyone. These lazy employees prefer to be EFFECT of the boss and wait for him or her to make them work. The truth is, everyone can be the source of their own motivation! They can be at CAUSE.

"Motivation is in the future. It's 'What do I want?' 'What do we want?' That's cause. And if it's interesting, it sort of pulls us forward to it." -- L. Ron Hubbard

For example,

you may have heard the story about three men who were building a stone church. When asked what they were doing, the first man said he was breaking stones, the second said he was making a living and the third said he was building a cathedral. Which of the men do you think had the most motivation?

What is the in the future for your activities?

What do you want in your future?

If you're not sure, you won't be motivated.

If you're afraid you'll get something other than what you want, you won't be motivated.

If you have little hope you'll make it, you won't be motivated.

If you doubt your ability to get what you want, you won't be motivated.

If you have nothing you want in the future, you will not be motivated.

If your future is not very interesting to you, you will not be motivated.

On the other hand, if you spell out exactly what you want, you are CAUSE.

If it's interesting, you are motivated! Of course, you need to have hope that you will make it as well as confidence that you can make it happen.

But the first step is to decide what you want.

For example,

Jill wakes up and thinks, "I'm going to run my own very successful company some day!" She jumps out of bed and races off to work.

Chris wakes up and thinks, "I'm going to be late if I don't get out of bed." He can barely pull his covers off. Recommendations

1. Stop expecting anything or anyone to motivate you. No longer think, "I'll really get excited after someone gives me a . . ." "I won't work hard until . . ." "My life will change for the better when someone else . . ." Instead, take responsibility for being CAUSE and for motivating yourself. "I'm the one who will get me excited. I'll work hard to reach my goals. I'm changing my life for the better."

2. Write down everything you want in the future. What do you want today? This week? This year? This lifetime? Keep writing down what you want until you start to feel motivated.

3. Look for things you want that are also interesting to you. For example, "Pay off my debts" may not be as interesting or as motivational as "Become a debt-free millionaire!"

Is It Ever a Waste of Time to Love Someone?

There are reasons why God allows some things to happen in our lives, even those that seemed like very dark times for us.

For example, one reason why we find it so hard to forget a previous relationship is that we can’t accept the fact that it could all just end that way and all our efforts, all our time, all our tears and suffering had just gone to waste.

God wastes nothing however, especially our tears. We don’t know the end yet, especially within the broad perspective of eternity.

The other person may not appreciate everything you have done for him/her now, but it is certain that you have made an impact in his/her life. That impact will play a part in the grander scheme of things.

You’ll never know how he/she shall one day remember everything that has been done for him/her, how he/she was loved. At present, he/she may really feel such a deep craving to be loved but fears so much to be abandoned such that he/she consequently pushes away those who desire to love him/her.

But if you were able to show that person that you have been there for him/her at one point in his/her life, one day, God may let him/her see all the blessings sent his/her way, including the people who loved him/her even though his/her heart was still closed and unable to receive the love being offered him/her.

It’s never a waste to love.

I Believe that there is a Hunger in each and every Person to be Loved.

Our question now is why we can’t often feel that we are loved as much as we wanted to be loved. Why can’t we fill that hunger to the full? Why can’t we feel that we are truly loved?

1. Because we are not showing others who we really are

Unless we are able to show our true selves, we can’t achieve true intimacy. Even if we get others to love the masks we wear, we would still feel lonely because we know that the person they love isn’t the person we really are.

This is the reason why many books about making someone fall in love with you or getting your ex back doesn’t work.

These books tell only half the story. They cater to what the other person wants to see, not to how we are truly seen.


If you want to be loved as you are, you have to have the courage to reveal who you really are and to be loved for that, warts and all, strengths and weaknesses, beauty and flaws.

2. Because we are not allowing ourselves to receive love

There are many of us who would rather give love than receive love. It is good if we are not really starving for love deep within and if we are overflowing with love from a greater Source, from God. But if we are merely trying to hide that hunger and if we are afraid to ask for what we need, how could we ever receive love? Sometimes, we also have to give others the chance to care for us. Let us not let our pride get in the way of receiving love.

3. Because we are not acknowledging other people’s ways of loving us

We may not feel loved because we are not acknowledging other people’s ways of loving us. Other people may not always say that they love us, but they may show it by their works, by their loyalty and devotion. We may not always receive the most expensive gifts, but our beloved may already be giving us his very best. There are different ways of showing love, but only we could decide if we are going to receive the love we are shown.

4. Because we devote more time and attention to people who don’t really care for us

Why do we spend so much time with people who don’t really care for us? We build our world around these people and then feel shattered when we can’t receive from them all that we have expected from the start. When they tell us they don’t care, we say to ourselves, “nobody really cares”, when we know that isn’t true. Only a few people didn’t care, and their coldness blinded our eyes from receiving what other people around us can still offer us. Let us learn to let go of those people who don’t really love us and let us give more time to those who truly care.

Love isn’t always that far away.

We may just be looking at different things or we may not be looking closely enough to
see it.

Bridges in Life..

In life, bridges connect us to the future.



They provide passage to carry us forward to new discoveries, new relationships and new opportunities.

But crossing a bridge means making a change, and change can be uncomfortable.

We're torn between staying where we are and moving forward into the unknown.

And often, when given the option to turn back to what is safe and comfortable... we do.

And that's why we must reach deep inside and gather up the courage to burn old bridges so that we can move forward and cross new ones.

What lies ahead may feel uncertain, but as C.S. Lewis said:

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."

So what bridges do you need to burn?

And what bridges may be waiting to lead you to new discoveries?


All it takes is learning which bridge to cross... and which one to burn.

Dare To Do Something Differently

Some people think that if you dare to try something new or take a risk in order to improve your life, that you are actually making your life more difficult.

So we tell ourselves it's easier to stick with the status quo because it is "what we know."
It's familiar, known and predictable.

But what if "what you know" isn't working for you anymore?

What if what you know will only get you as far as you are right now?
You already know what is going to happen if you continue with the same habits, patterns, behaviors and thoughts that are no longer serving you.

In truth, the hard part is continuing to live in a way you've outgrown.
If you really want to create change in your life, you've got to dare to do things differently.

Ask yourself right now:

"What do I have to gain by daring to do something differently?"
And then do it! YEE HOO!

Do something (ANYTHING!) differently today, no matter how small.

Gift Giving

As a child, were you given a gift and then ordered how to play with it?

Were some of your possessions under someone else's control?

Are some of your current possessions still not under your control?

L. Ron Hubbard wrote in his book, Child Dianetics*: "When you give a child something, it's his. It's not still yours. Clothes, toys, quarters, what he has been given, must remain under his exclusive control. "So he tears up his shirt, wrecks his bed, breaks his fire engine. It's none of your business.

"How would you like to have somebody give you a Christmas present and then tell you, day after day thereafter, what you are to do with it and even punish you if you failed to care for it the way the donor thinks? You'd wreck that donor and ruin that present. You know you would.

"The child wrecks your nerves when you do it to him. That's revenge. He cries. He pesters you. He breaks your things. He 'accidentally' spills his milk. And he wrecks the possession on purpose about which he is so often cautioned. Why? "Because he is fighting for his own self-determinism, his own right to own and make his weight felt on his environment.

This 'possession' is another channel by which he can be controlled. So he has to fight the possession and the controller."

For example,

you give your son a new bike and he leaves it out in the rain that night. If you say, "I'm taking away your bike because you can't take care of it," he makes the rest of your day miserable. If instead, you put your son in control of the bike, everyone has a happy day. "It's your bike, but you might want to dry it off and keep it in the garage at night so it doesn't get rusty. Do whatever you want." *Dianetics: From the Greek dia (through) and noos (soul), thus "through the soul." Dianetics counseling finds incidents in the past to explain personal problems in the present. Based on the NY Times best-selling book, Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health (www.dianetics.org).

Giving Control to Adults

The above fact is also true with adults and helps explain why some people get upset.

For example,

Bob the Boss hires Fred to clean his office. Bob says, "I was watching how you hold your mop. Both hands should be in the middle of the handle, not one on top. The cleanser you used in the bathroom is blue and it should be green. Also, the tread on your shoes might leave black marks so wear white shoes tomorrow." Every morning is like this. Bob never really gives the job to Fred. One day, Fred writes "I QUIT" in black marker on the bathroom mirror. Bob the Boss says, "You just can't get good help these days."

Another example would be a friend loans you some money so you can buy a car. But your friend then insists you buy a certain car, tries to control how you drive the car and so on. Some parents try to control an adult child's career.

For example,

the parent says, "I'll pay for your college education if you become a doctor." The parent is then enraged when the son or daughter quits college to hitchhike across Europe or become a professional surfer.

When you give a job, an idea, a gift, money or a life to someone, you must let them control it.

Child or adult, nobody wants strings attached.

How Drugs and Toxins Hurt Your Success

Definition of "Toxin" = A poisonous substance.

You are bombarded with toxins every day. Air pollution, water pollution and food chemicals get into your body. Toxins are in cleaning products, paint, fertilizers, construction material, bug sprays, even perfumes.

Prescription drugs are also a major source of toxins that may solve one health problem, but can cause many new problems. Perhaps the worst toxins of all are street drugs: marijuana, cocaine, LSD, ecstasy, meth and so on.

L. Ron Hubbard discovered three important facts about toxins:

1. Toxins, especially street drugs, have long-term effects on your personality. Even after you stop using drugs, you are never your old self. You may be less alert or less intelligent than before you took drugs. You may not be as patient, friendly or kind. Life might seem less interesting and more stressful.

"Drugs can apparently change the attitude of a person from his original personality to one secretly harboring* hostilities and hatreds he does not permit to show on the surface." -- L. Ron Hubbard from "Clear Body, Clear Mind" (*harboring: holding in the mind; maintaining.)

Can you remember how you felt before you took drugs? Were you more alert? Was it easier to learn? Were you happier? Maybe you can't remember because drugs and toxins tend to cloud your memory.

2. When you get toxins in your body, bits of these toxins do not leave. Because they are stored in your body, they can enter your blood at any time to hurt your health, change your personality and block your ability to think. "In the 1970s, working with cases of individuals who had been drug users, and in a study of their physical symptoms and behavioral patterns, I made a startling discovery.

"People who had been on LSD at some earlier time sometimes had reactions which appeared to act as if they had just taken more LSD!"

"LSD apparently stays in the system, lodging in the tissues, and mainly the fatty tissues of the body, and is liable to go into action again--giving the person unpredictable 'trips'--even years after the person has come off LSD." "Thus it seems that residues* of any or all of these hostile biochemical* substances apparently have the potential of remaining in the system, getting caught up in the tissues and remaining there, unsuspected, even after they have supposedly been eliminated from the body years earlier."-- L. Ron Hubbard from "Clear Body, Clear Mind" (*residues: the parts of something that remains) (*biochemical: the chemicals of a living system)

Clinical tests and medical autopsies prove that toxins do, in fact, get embedded in body tissues.

3. You can remove the stored toxins from your body through an intense program of daily exercise, sweating and nutrition.

The program is called the Purification program. "How does the Purification program work? "Running is done to get the blood circulating deeper into the tissues where toxic residuals are lodged and thus act to loosen and release the accumulated harmful deposits and get them moving. "Very important, then, is that the running is immediately followed by sweating in the sauna to flush out the accumulations which have now been dislodged.

"Regular nutrition and supplemental nutrition in the form of megavitamin* and mineral dosages and extra quantities of oil are a vital factor in helping the body to flush out toxins and to repair and rebuild the areas that have been affected by drugs and other toxic residuals.

"A proper schedule with enough rest is mandatory, as the body will be undergoing change and repair throughout the program.

"These actions, carried out on a very stringently monitored basis, are apparently accomplishing a detoxification of the entire system, to the renewed health and vigor of the individual." -- L. Ron Hubbard from "Clear Body, Clear Mind" (*megavitamin dosages: large amounts of vitamins) Results During the Purification program, most people can tell which toxins are moving out of their bodies.

For example, On Day 2 your mouth might feel numb as the drugs, given to you by your dentist, are sweated out. On Days 4, 5 and 6 you might feel high from the marijuana you smoked in college. On Day 7, as they flush out, you might smell the paint chemicals that you inhaled from your days as a painter.

While you are doing the Purification program, you eliminate traces of toxins every day. You experience many ups and downs as the drugs and chemicals are rinsed out of your body. And then one day, near the end of your program, you feel cleaner and healthier than you have in years!

All of the 250,000+ people, who have completed the Purification program, report one or more of the following benefits.

□ Improved physical condition

□ Clearer thinking

□ More positive outlook on life

□ Increased self-confidence

□ Younger feeling

□ More alert

□ Increased energy level

□ Improved smell, taste, hearing, touch and vision Flushing out the drugs and toxins stored in your body significantly increases your chances of success.

15 Questions for Making Great Decisions

To succeed, you need self-confidence.

Luckily, self-confidence is easy to obtain.

"SELF-CONFIDENCE is nothing more than belief in one's ability to decide and in one's decisions." -- L. Ron Hubbard Everyone has made bad decisions: choosing friends who stab you in the back, saying the wrong thing to your spouse, spending your money unwisely. Yet to succeed and have self-confidence, you must make decisions.

When you are afraid of decisions, you build up stress, create confusion and make people wait.

When you put off making decisions, you miss important opportunities.

The worst way to make decisions is to take a vote.

Asking for people's opinions is like saying, "I don't have any self-confidence.

Please tell me what to decide." The first thing you need to decide is that you can make good decisions, And how do you make good decisions?

"Given information and the purpose, anybody can make a decision." -- L. Ron Hubbard Decision making is like playing cards. If you know the cards each player is holding, you make great decisions and win all the money.

To make good decisions, you simply need enough information.

15 Questions to Answer Before Making a Decision


You can make all of your own decisions on your own.

From starting a business to changing careers, buying a house to choosing a vacation. Any decision is easy to make.

First, list all of your options.

For example,

Steve is trying to decide about buying a new car. His choice is not "to buy or not to buy." In this case, he actually has three choices:

1) buy the $60,000 new BMW,

2) buy the $30,000 used Acura,

3) fix up and keep the old Toyota.

As another example, Bob asks Dorothy to marry him. Dorothy looks it over and decides she has four choices:

1) Marry Bob immediately,

2) Marry Bob after a long engagement,

3) Don't marry Bob, but keep dating him,

4) Don't marry Bob and stop dating him.

Once you have listed out your options, find the answers to these 15 questions for each of your options.

You will know some of these answers and can find out the others. Somewhere along the line, your best correct decision will be obvious.

1. What is the goal or purpose of each option? Steve writes, "1) The purpose of the BMW is to ride in style and luxury while impressing the heck out of my friends.

2) The purpose of the Acura is to have comfortable transportation without big loan payments.

3) The purpose of the Toyota is to have good reliable transportation at a small cost.

"Dorothy examines the purpose of each of her options. She writes,

"1) The purpose of marrying Bob immediately is to move on with our lives together.

2) The purpose of a long engagement is to leave plenty of room for me to change my mind.

3) The purpose of not marrying, but continuing to date Bob is to learn more about him without a commitment.

4) The purpose of not seeing Bob any longer is to look for someone else.

Well, I can eliminate this last option as I'm sick of looking and really do love Bob."

2. How do the purposes of each option align with your goals? Steve writes, "My goal is to drive something comfortable I can be proud of, but not consume all of my extra money. The Acura fits that goal best." Dorothy writes, "I have the goal to get married, so the first two options line up with that goal."

3. What are the statistics for each choice? Each of your options has statistics. Steve can learn maintenance costs, resale value costs, miles per gallon and so on. Dorothy can check out Bob's statistics in life. How well does he keep his word? How much money does he make? What happened with his past relationships? When hiring an employee, his or her statistics in life and at the last job are important. When deciding on a job, a career, a relationship, a new business or anything, you can find the track records.

4. Finances? Two vital questions: What will each option cost? How much money will each return? The cost is not a barrier if the predicted return is greater than the cost.

5. Sequences? Most people forget to look at the exact steps involved with each solution. For example, you are notified by mail, "Congratulations! You have won either a deluxe AM/FM radio, $500 cash, a 60" TV or a cruise to Alaska!" You decide to go claim your prize. You never read the fine print or ask what steps are involved. After a four-hour Mexico condo timeshare sales pitch, you get a coupon for a cheap radio.

"If I decide to buy the BMW, what happens next?" You might realize you need to wait two months before delivery. You also realize you need to get insurance, pay registration fees, sell your Toyota and so on.

When interviewing job applicants, ask "If I asked you to start on Monday, what would you do?" Some applicants say, "Well, I might not have a car. . ." or "My bird has been sick . . ." A smart job applicant says, "I'll show up five minutes early!"

6. Is this choice legal and ethical? Is it fair to everyone involved? Will you be proud of your choice in the future? Would you have any problem telling a judge or TV reporter about your choice?

7. What is the probability of success? For example, how many BMW or Acura buyers are happy enough to buy a similar car? How long will the Toyota last? Estimate the odds of success for each choice if you have no concrete data. Dorothy estimates the odds of a successful marriage to Bob are higher with her second option, if she has a long engagement, than the other two remaining options.

8. Do I have the resources? Resources include people, space, skill, knowledge, money and time. Do you have the necessary means for each choice?

9. What are the end results? If everything went smoothly, how would each choice turn out? What would the results be? How would it change things in a year or two?

10. What do others want me to do and why? As your choice probably affects other people, you want to know what choice they want you to make. More importantly, why they want you to make it. Make a list of everyone who is affected and what you believe they want. You are not asking them to help with your decision, you are merely gathering information.

11. What are the potential gains and benefits? List each of these categories for each choice.

12. What are the potential losses and liabilities? Worst-case scenarios and risks. For each risk, look at how you can protect yourself or your group. For example, David is considering a major expansion of his hair brush company. He looks at the risks and realizes he could end with too many hair brushes in storage. To protect his group, he realizes he needs to expand his marketing and sales before increasing his manufacturing to ensure he won't have a storage problem. Dorothy evaluates the risks of a marriage and realizes a long engagement has a much lower risk of divorce than a fast marriage.

13. What are all the barriers and difficulties for each choice? What gets in the road of each choice. Lack of money? No one else wants it? Not enough time? Fear? David sees months of hard work to cause the expansion. Steve sees no difficulties in buying the BMW or Acura, but lists several problems with repairing his old Toyota. Dorothy realizes Bob might not like the third option of just dating, but would support a long or short engagement.

14. What would be easy and effortless about each choice? Some choices involve no barriers at all.

15. What do I really want? What am I willing to do? What interests me? Which choice turns me on and makes me happiest? Why do I feel like doing it? This last question is the deal breaker. Interest and enthusiasm are vital to a decision ending up being the right decision. An okay decision with lots of interest and enthusiasm is more successful than a brilliant decision with no interest or enthusiasm.

You never regret a correct decision. It stands the test of time. A series of correct decisions will build your certainty and confidence. And once those around you learn you are usually right, they follow your lead without hesitation.

Have Some Fun!

"An individual who can freely and with a clear heart do things because they're fun is a very sane person." -- L. Ron Hubbard What can you do today, simply because it's fun?

Ten Suggestions

1. Call someone who enjoys laughing with you, just for fun.

2. Watch a comedy television show or a funny movie, just for fun.

3. Act way too dramatic about a problem, just for fun.

4. Do a monkey dance, privately or publically, just for fun.

5. Find some new jokes on the Internet and use them to make the people around you laugh, just for fun.

6. Go roller skating, fly kites or go bowling with your family, just for fun.

7. If you are a perfectionist, deliberately make a mistake, just for fun.

8. Make some loud, enthusiastic sounds. For example, yell "WONDERFUL!" when you hear some good news, just for fun.

9. Take some kids to the zoo, a park or a water slide, just for fun.

10. Find a reason to give someone a high five, a knuckle bump or a back slap, just for fun.

Improve your sanity by having some fun today!

Courage

You are walking down the sidewalk and a guy walks up to you on the street and demands money. You are driving down the road and a police officer pulls you over.

The leader of your group asks you to speak to the entire group.

Your boss or a colleague is so mad at you he or she starts to scream.

Your main investment suddenly crashes. The neighborhood bully wants to talk to you.

As someone who wants to succeed, you need courage to deal with anything that scares you. You must face your fears head on.

You need several types of courage.

The courage to discuss touchy issues.

The courage to be criticized.

The courage to say "no."

The courage to make decisions.

The courage to tell the truth.

The courage to face the facts.

The courage to be in the minority.

The courage to hold a position.

The courage to admit you are wrong.

The courage to trust others.

The courage to accept responsibility.

The courage to disagree.

The courage to change.

Without courage, your success is unlikely.

"A person of high courage is a valuable associate and group member, but a coward is a dangerous liability as a friend."

From Science of Survival by L. Ron Hubbard Each time you use more courage, you enjoy new benefits. You feel calm and peaceful.

Problems that were persisting now tend to disappear.

Your confidence soars to new heights.

Managing your business, job or career becomes easier.

You feel more energy.

You sleep better.

People around you follow your example.

You inspire everyone to be more courageous.

Your family and groups become stronger.

Eight Articles to Help You Increase Your Courage

1. You have more courage if you are passionate. Fire up your purpose. Arouse your intensity. See "The Power of Passion."

2. Make steady, orderly progress. See "Orderly Progress = Power."

3. Communicate, communicate, communicate. You will often find the courage to communicate is all you need to resolve difficult situations. See "When in Doubt, Communicate."

4. Prepare for a confrontation. Write down your plan of action, list all contingencies and set the stage. See "How to Handle Difficult People."

5. Lighten up. Your odds of success are much greater if you are less serious about everything. See "Being Too Serious Can Drive You Crazy."

6. Look at the challenge as an opportunity. Much of what you have accomplished has taken courage. Every time you go through a difficulty, you come out stronger. See "Fishing Story: The Benefits of a Challenge."

7. Do not assume anything. Do not listen to others. Look for yourself.

Horses are often terrified of shallow streams until they step in and feel the water is only an inch deep.

Once you actually talk to a bully, you find it's not such a big deal. See "Operating with the Truth."

Money Motivation

Is making money your top goal?

Is it your primary motivation?

If so, you may get rich, but you may not be satisfied with life.

You may not have a good marriage or happy family.

You may not make any difference in the world.

In fact, if money is not your only motivation, you might get rich . . . and be happy! There's a big difference between getting money just to have money, and earning money to finance a greater cause or create a bigger benefit.

How does this work?

"Money is important in the world.

It is the grease on the machinery, not the motors."

"There is nothing wrong with having lots of money.

There is everything wrong with having no money.

But to work only for money is the dreariest thing there is, very short term indeed."

"The weakest motivation is money. People and businesses that are motivated only by money are wobbly people."

"The scale of motivation from the highest to the lowest is: "Duty -- highest "Personal Conviction "Personal Gain "Money -- lowest" -- L. Ron Hubbard.

Let's examine these four types of motivation.

4. Money Motivation (lowest):

You do whatever it takes to get and keep money. You only do things for money. Even if you hate the work, you do what you need to do for the money. You do not care if you do a good job or not, as long as you get the money. You believe that if some action gets you money, it's a good thing, no matter what is involved. Lying, cheating and stealing are okay in your mind, as long as the money comes to you.

3. Personal Gain Motivation:

You work for your own health and happiness. Your personal success, personal power and personal standard of living are more important to you than anything else. You do not care about others' personal gain, just your own.

2. Personal Conviction Motivation:

You are convinced of the value or rightness of an idea or purpose and work to support that idea. For example, you feel strongly about the need for your company's service or product in the world and do all you can to get others to agree with your view. You take great pride in following your ideas.

1. Duty Motivation (highest):

You work for a greater purpose than yourself alone.

You are motivated to improve the world; to support your country as a patriot; or to expand your group as a devoted member.

For example,

people who work for nonprofit organizations, to fight hunger, diseases or poverty are often motivated by duty.

When someone pretends to be motivated by a higher motivation, he or she fails.

For example,

a politician's duty is to support the people he or she represents.

If instead, the politician is found to be using the position just to get money, that politician is kicked out of office. However, a duty-motivated leader who works hard to accomplish that duty, has nothing to hide.

His or her actions are consistently directed toward the purpose or duty. You can see statistical evidence of these accomplishments in terms of lives saved, people helped, children educated and so on. The higher your motivation, the more energy you feel.

You can work longer hours, do a better job and have more fun when you are motivated by a duty or personal conviction. Recommendations Make a list of your purposes that are greater than yourself. Which of these interest and excite you? How can you spend more time working on them?

If you think you are working just for money, take another look at your motivations.

In many cases, you may find you are more motivated to make money for other reasons. These other reasons are your real motivations. Focus on them and strengthen them and you will feel more motivated than ever!

Which is Worse: Terrorists or Fear of Terrorists?

Since 9/11, three years ago, many people are still afraid to fly in airplanes, visit New York or work in tall buildings.

Many Americans are afraid of anyone who comes from the Middle East.

Just as fear of terrorism can affect a country, fear can hurt your success.

Instead of working on your career or future, you get quiet or hide.

If you feel afraid, you make poor decisions.

You fight the wrong targets.

You feel confused.

Fears make you imagine the worse.

You play little movies in your head that have nothing to do with your real life.

Life seems dangerous.

Fear can also hurt your health.

Your body is tense. You sleep poorly.

You do not feel active.

Terrorism is a big fear, especially for many Americans.

So where is the threat?

Personal Experience:

Have you ever seen a terrorist?

Not on the news, but with your own eyes?

If you walked in any direction from your home, how far would you have to walk before you were threatened by a terrorist?

For most of us, it's a very long walk. Have you lost money, peace of mind or personal freedom because of a terrorist?

Or maybe people's FEAR of terrorism is the bigger problem.

Terrorist Purpose:

The only thing terrorists want to do is scare you. That's why they're called terrorists! Have you let terrorists achieve their purpose?

Another question:

Who is helping terrorists with their mission?

Who makes money or gains power from terrorism?

Chaos Merchants L. Ron Hubbard invented a new term: Chaos (disorder, confusion) Merchants (sellers, promoters) to describe a serious problem we have in our society.

Anyone who profits from the suffering of others is a Chaos Merchant.

Anyone who seeks to increase their popularity or power by making the world seem worse than it is is a Chaos Merchant. "It is to their [the Chaos Merchants'] interest to make the environment seem as threatening as possible for only then can they profit." "Look over a newspaper.

Is there anything good on the front page? Rather there is murder and sudden death, disagreement and catastrophe. And even that, bad as it is, is sensationalized to make it seem worse." -- L. Ron Hubbard Chaos Merchants include politicians, lawyers, arms dealers and most of all, news organizations.

Politicians feed on our fears.

For example, a politician makes crime statistics seem bigger than anyone ever imagined. He promises to fight crime better than his opponent. He wins IF he scares enough people.

Weapons dealers also make huge profits by spreading chaos.

For example, an arms dealer tells the leaders of one country, "That country over there has bombs pointed at you. You need to buy more bombs to point at them." Weapons dealers quietly make billions in profits.

Of course, newspapers, news magazines and television news also make big profits by spreading as much bad news as possible.

The more terrifying the news, the more people will watch their television news or buy their papers and magazines.

News shows and newspaper executives say, "If it bleeds, it leads" meaning violent death or injury (blood) is the first story (the lead) for their news show or newspaper. The more vicious the crime, the more attention it receives, and the more money they make.

Terrorist Test Question

If you never watched television news or read articles about terrorist attacks,

why would you be afraid of terrorists?

Would you even know they existed?

More than 126,000 US citizens have died since 9/11/01 in traffic accidents--forty times more than died from terrorism. Are you more afraid of automobiles than you are of terrorists? Maybe you would be if car accidents lead the news each night.

Recommendations:

To be a success, you must conquer your fears. If you feel anxious, afraid or nervous, you must make some changes to your life.

1. Stop believing Chaos Merchants. If you feel fear, notice who might have just sold you some chaos. Instead of believing them, look for yourself.

2. Stop reading about chaos in newspapers and news magazines. Consider cutting out all the news in your life. Instead, read an interesting book, do some work or have some fun.

3. When chaos is on television, watch something else. How does it help you or anyone to know about deaths, danger and catastrophes?

4. Avoid people who like to pass on disturbing "news." Instead, spend time with people who like to pass on cheerful news.

5. After 7-10 days, notice how you feel. If you are not sure if Chaos Merchants have any effect on you, do the above steps for 7-10 days. Then read about chaos in the newspapers and watch all the news. Listen to disturbing people for a few days. Notice how you feel now.

Benefits:

Nearly everyone who breaks off all association with Chaos Merchants notices benefits like these.

* Life becomes more interesting and less dangerous.

* You eat better and sleep better.

* You laugh more easily.

* You feel healthier.

* You feel calmer

You Have the Power to Make People Happy

If you make people happy, you can take giant leaps toward your goals.

If you think about it, all your success depends on other people.

People can give you opportunities, money, contracts, praise, support, help and advice.

They can recommend you to other people who also give you what you need. People can also stop your success. They can criticize you, oppose you and close down your progress.

Even if they do not actively oppose you, they can avoid you, hide your options or simply do nothing for you.

"If a person thinks he can be happy without making those around him happy, he's crazy." -- L. Ron Hubbard When you make others happy, you own an important people skill. They want to help you even better, making people happy makes you feel great!

However, mastering the skill to making people happy can be difficult.

Does Changing People Make Them Happy?

Everyone has an identity. It's what they want to be. You can call it their "beingness." Trying to make people change their beingness is a common activity.

For example:

A 10-year-old girl's parents are worried that she loves motorcycles. They are afraid she'll grow up and join a motorcycle gang. So they make her wear dresses and play with dolls. They forbid her from being around motorcycles. A happy girl becomes unhappy.

As another example,

Fred is a computer geek. He likes to wear goofy clothes and tell silly jokes. Fred goes to a college where the popular students criticize him. "Fred, your jokes are so dumb I want to gag." "Fred asked me out to dinner once and I laughed at him." "Check out Fred's striped pants! What an idiot!" Married people often try to change each other's beingness as well. "Jill, I wish you were not so talkative. You're on the phone all day." "Jack, you lazy bum. I wish you were more energetic so you would take me out dancing!" Jack and Jill's marriage is not happy.

How do you feel when someone tries to change your beingness?

Perhaps you feel resentful.

You might even want to attack the person.

You certainly do not feel happier.

Granting Beingness

"The ability to assume or grant (give, allow) beingness is probably the highest of human virtues*.

It is even more important to be able to permit (allow) other people to have beingness than to be able oneself to assume it." -- L. Ron Hubbard (virtue: good or desirable quality)

As you know, you must "be" before "doing" or "having."

For example:

before "having" a good marriage, you must first "be" a good husband or wife. You can then "do" the things necessary to then "have" a great marriage. Per the above quote, a skill more important than assuming your own beingness is permitting others to be whatever they want to be.

For example:

you need to let Fred the computer geek be exactly what he wants to be. You grant him beingness. You say to yourself, "It's completely okay with me for Fred to wear odd clothing and make bad jokes." You then realize Fred is actually a good person. You laugh at his jokes. You admire his purple ties. You become friends. A few years later, you get an executive job at his new multi-million-dollar computer company.

Granting beingness to marriage partners can seem very difficult, but anyone can do it. "Jack, if you want to lie on the couch each night, that's okay with me." "Jill, let's get another phone line so you won't be interrupted with other calls." If you sincerely grant beingness to your spouse, you are both much happier.

For most parents, ensuring their children are happy is their first goal. Granting beingness is essential to this happiness.

For example:

on Monday, little Joey wants to be a fireman. His mom says, "You'll be a great fireman!" On Tuesday, Joey wants to be a basketball star. "I think you'll be a wonderful basketball star!" And so on. Later in life, Joey's mother still grants him beingness. "So you want to quit college to work for a rock band? You'll be setting up the stage? Well, I think you'll be the best stage manager they've ever hired!" One week later, Joey decides he should finish his education and goes back to college. What if Joey's mother had not granted him beingness. "Joey, that's the stupidest decision you've ever made! You must quit this job and go back to college." Of course, Joey can't admit he is wrong about his decision and so sets up stages for rock bands for the next 25 years.

Change the World

Imagine how the world would be if everyone granted beingness to everyone else.

No more discrimination because of the color of your skin.

Women would be treated as fairly in business as men.

Everyone could join whatever religion they preferred.

Career choices would come from the heart.

You and everyone around you could map out their own lives.

You could be whomever you wanted to be.

Such a world is possible. It starts with granting beingness. It leads to massive happiness.

Recommendations

Grant beingness to everyone you meet today.

Let them be whoever they want to be.

Make no attempt to change their beingness.

Grant beingness to someone you already like.

Notice what happens to your feelings and your relationship with this person.

If someone irritates you, grant him or her beingness.

For example:

if another driver on the road makes you mad, grant him beingness.

If someone appears odd or ugly to you, grant this person beingness.

If you hate someone, grant him or her beingness. You can do this right now, without even seeing the person. It may not be easy, but the rewards can be interesting, if not amazing.

Watch how others respond to you when you grant them beingness.

You may discover you now have the skill to make anyone happy.

Orderly Progress = Power

Many of those who wish to succeed find relief and an improved attitude from this quote: "THE TOTALITY OF POWER IS ORDERLY PROGRESS." -- L. Ron Hubbard Discouragement and frustration from not making your goals quickly enough are resolved through orderly progress.

Do you ever get frustrated because your life is not the way you want it?

Perhaps you are trying to skip steps necessary to reaching your goals.

Instead of demanding PERFECTION TODAY!, focus on orderly progress and your odds of success are much higher.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed?

If so, orderly progress becomes even more important.

Confronting huge amounts of work is not overwhelming when you see yourself making orderly progress, even in small amounts, toward your goals.

Do you ever feel like you are losing ground or failing?

If you map out your actual goal and move one inch closer on a regular basis, you have new power.

Do you ever feel like you are treading water and going nowhere?

It is time for you to focus on some orderly progress.

How do you eat an elephant? How do you move a mountain?

How to you reach huge goals?

One mouthful, one rock and one step at a time.

Examples:

giving a positive impression to one more person; learning one more new skill; lessening one bad habit, investing a few more dollars in savings.

Daily progress in a specific direction creates long-term power when the progress is constant and orderly.

If you have been dissatisfied with your progress in life, or if you feel discouraged, overwhelmed or frustrated, make a list of orderly steps you can take every day and every week. Calm, direct, orderly steps.

Once you have your strategy worked out there is no need to worry about the past or the future-just concentrate on the present; on the steps of this plan. By putting order into your progress, nothing and nobody can stop you.

A mountain creek is more powerful than a granite boulder when the creek slowly and surely wears the boulder down.

Orderly progress toward your goals starts with small, positive steps.

You can generate new power from this week forward. Deciding to have orderly progress is the first step.

To Tell the Truth

You succeed with you operate with honesty.

For example:

you exaggerate a customer's problem so you can charge him more. This increases your income, but causes you problems. The customer can sense the lie, no matter how sincere you act. If you are caught, the penalties are painful.

On the other hand, if you understate the customer's problem, you are selling out what you know to be true. You prevent your customer from making the proper decisions. You feel like a wimp. The only solution is to look your customer in the eye, without hesitation, and tell the truth. The customer can then act accordingly. You do your job, even if you don't make as much money and even if the person doesn't like the truth.

When you have the courage to call the truth the truth you become a powerful force. It is easy to hold a position on an honest fact.

For example,

your software adds numbers incorrectly. You call the software technician who looks it over. He says, "the problem is the user; the software is fine." You pull out a calculator and prove the computer's answer is wrong. Because you know the truth, you refuse to agree with the technician. No matter how smart the expert is, or how inexperienced the user is, you KNOW the figures do not add up. You have personal integrity.

The same idea applies to your family, spouse and friends. You agree or disagree based on what you know to be true, not on what THEY want you to say or believe.

Integrity

Integrity means you are honest, complete, honorable.

It means you hold to your personal code of conduct.

You stick to what you decide is right and wrong.

When you live with integrity, you succeed.

You are open and honest.

Your life is uncomplicated and less stressful.

When you have good integrity you do not lie.

You can look at yourself in the mirror.

You have nothing to hide.

The Best Code of Conduct for You

So what is right and ethical for you?

How do you work out your own code of conduct?

"WHAT IS TRUE FOR YOU is what you have observed yourself "And when you lose that you have lost everything."

"What is personal integrity?

"Personal integrity is knowing what you know-- "What you know is what you know-- "And to have the courage to know and say what you have observed. "And that is integrity "And there is no other integrity." -- L. Ron Hubbard No one needs to tell you what is right or wrong. You can see and decide for yourself.

For example,

Doug may decide it is perfectly fine to drink wine with dinner. Wally may observe the same issue and decide it is wrong to drink wine. Both individuals made their own decisions. Both are operating with integrity.

Maggie may decide spending money on vacations is a crime while Joyce may decide skipping a vacation is a crime. Both make their own decisions about what is right and wrong.

Like most people, you have probably decided it is wrong to not support your family, abandon a friend, steal from your company, cheat on your marriage, shoplift, abuse drugs and so on.

You probably believe it is good to work hard, be kind to your parents, have fun, pay your bills, tell the truth, return things you borrow and so on. You know the truth when you see it.

You stick to your guns and build personal pride. When you deceive your partner, you both lose a little. If you lie to your spouse, you weaken your marriage. Whenever you abandon what you know to be true, you lose. Nothing makes you more miserable than "selling out" and failing to stick to your integrity.

10 Benefits of Living with Integrity

1. When you decide what is right or wrong for you, and act accordingly, you do not regret anything you do.

2. People follow your example and act more honestly.

3. Your powers of observation are more accurate. You can see the truth about others more easily.

4. No need to keep your stories straight as your stories are facts. Less mental work is required.

5. You handle rejection and criticism more easily. For example, you are not bothered if someone says, "Your fees are too high!" As you have no doubt that your fees are fair, you know the other person has the problem.

6. You have fewer personality conflicts with others, even when you are aggressive.

7. You fight crimes against you with more ferocity when you have nothing to hide.

8. When you make a mistake, it is easier to find the truth, accept responsibility and move forward.

9. You earn a reputation as a person with integrity.

For example, employees brag about honest bosses. "He might be more honest about your work than you might want to hear, but he's fair and doesn't lie."

10. Your odds of being sued, fined or convicted of a crime go way down.

How to Laugh about Anything

If you cannot laugh, you are in trouble. Life is not fun for you.

You take things too seriously and build stress.

If you cannot laugh, you set a negative example for others.

People tend to dislike you. No one wants to help you get ahead.

If you cannot laugh, you may not sleep well. You need drugs or alcohol to feel good. You have health problems.

Fortunately, you can learn to laugh.

Benefits of Laughter


* Laughter strengthens the Immune System. According to Dr. Lee S. Berk from Loma Linda University, California, USA, laughter helps increase the count of white-blood cells and antibody levels.

* Laughter stimulates heart and blood circulation better than other aerobic exercises. Per Dr. William Fry of Stanford University, one minute of laughter is equal to 10 minutes on the rowing machine.

* Laughing provides a good massage to internal organs. It enhances blood supply and organ efficiency, especially with intestines. Experiments also show your blood-pressure decreases after 10 minutes of laughter.

* Laughter increases the levels of the pain killer endorphin. In Norman Cousins' book "Anatomy of an Illness," he explains how laughter relieved the intense pain of his spinal disease when no painkiller would help.

* Younger appearance. Laughter tones facial muscles and improves facial expressions. When you laugh, your face becomes red due to an increase in blood supply. Laughing people look more cheerful and attractive.

An average four-year-old laughs 400 times per day while "solid-citizen" adults average 15 laughs per day. Ideally, you laugh every five minutes (200 times per day).

Another way to find joy and laughter in life is to make your problems MORE serious!

"The mechanism* is to make it more and more and more serious until it becomes utterly and completely ridiculous and the person will explode the whole thing off in laughter." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*mechanism: system or process)

You exaggerate your troubles or expand your complaints to such hilarious levels that you and others end up laughing.

Comics get laughs when they make things extra serious. Remember Saturday Night Live television shows where John Belushi would express his opinion with such force, he would turn red, scream with anger and flop back and forth until he fell off his chair? He was so overly serious, the audience would scream with laughter.

For example,

you go into a bank to cash a check.The bank teller looks at you suspiciously and says, "May I see two forms of ID please?" You say, "Sure. Here's my driver's license and my credit card."

The bank teller clerk examines your cards without comment. She seems unhappy and very serious.

So you pull out more cards and say, "And here's my library card, BlockBuster video rental card, Star Trek Junior Cadet Club card and my Yo-Yo Association card. My name is on all of them."

The teller tries, but can't stop laughing.

A serious waitress brings your food and says, "Be careful. The plate is very hot." So you grab the plate, jerk your hand back and say, "Oh Man! I burned myself!!" The waitress realizes you are exaggerating and laughs.

More Ways to Make Things More Serious If you are having a pity party, write or say to yourself, "Oh, oh, oh! Woe is me! I suffer so much. POOR MEEEE!!! My life is a complete mess! I'm devastated! I will never be happy ever!"

Do all you can to be a poor victim.

Feel really sorry for yourself.

Boost your feelings of self-pity to new levels.

Make yourself sob, even cry.

Be as serious as possible until you feel ridiculous.

If you aren't laughing, bawl as loud as you can, just like Lucy Ricardo on her television show, I Love Lucy.

Repeat each time you start to feel sorry for yourself.

If you feel serious and stressed, act EXTREMELY stressed out.

Pretend to have a heart attack. Fall on the floor. Give an Academy Award performance.

If someone gives you some alarming news, grab your collar or tie, stick out your tongue and pretend to hang yourself. Pretend the world has come to an end until you and the other person laugh.

If you are a manager or parent, do this with serious employees and serious kids. "Man, if sane, is a child of laughter." -- L. Ron Hubbard