As you know, you cause some things and you are the effect of other
things. You could say that when you are causing things, you are CAUSE.
When someone else causes an effect on you, you could say that you are
EFFECT.
Thousands of people buy motivation tapes because
they want the tapes to make them be EFFECT. They want the speaker on
the tape to fire them up and get them going. They believe the tape
gives them energy.
Other people believe drugs will
motivate them. They want to swallow a pill and then be energized. They
want to be EFFECT of the drug.
Employees who sit around
waiting for the boss to motivate them are also EFFECT. Bosses hate the
burden of having to motivate everyone. These lazy employees prefer to
be EFFECT of the boss and wait for him or her to make them work.
The truth is, everyone can be the source of their own motivation! They can be at CAUSE.
"Motivation is in the future. It's 'What do I want?' 'What do we
want?' That's cause. And if it's interesting, it sort of pulls us
forward to it." -- L. Ron Hubbard
For example, you
may have heard the story about three men who were building a stone
church. When asked what they were doing, the first man said he was
breaking stones, the second said he was making a living and the third
said he was building a cathedral.
Which of the men do you think had the most motivation?
What is the in the future for your activities? What do you want in your future?
If you're not sure, you won't be motivated. If you're afraid you'll
get something other than what you want, you won't be motivated. If you
have little hope you'll make it, you won't be motivated.
If you doubt your ability to get what you want, you won't be
motivated. If you have nothing you want in the future, you will not be
motivated. If you do not find it very interesting, you will not be
motivated.
On the other hand, if you spell out exactly what you want, you are CAUSE. If it's interesting, you are motivated!
Of course, you need to have hope that you will make it as well as
confidence that you can make it happen. But the first step is to
decide what you want.
For example, Jill wakes up and
thinks, "I'm going to run my own very successful company some day!"
She jumps out of bed and races off to work. Chris wakes up and thinks,
"I'm going to be late if I don't get out of bed."
Recommendations
1. Stop expecting anything or anyone to motivate you. No longer
think, "I'll really get excited after someone gives me a . . ." "I
won't work hard until . . ." "My life will change for the better when
someone else . . ."
Instead, take responsibility for being
CAUSE and for motivating yourself. "I'm the one who will get me
excited. I'll work hard to reach my goals. I'm changing my life for
the better."
2. Write down everything you want in the
future. What do you want today? This week? This year? This lifetime?
Keep writing down what you want until you start to feel motivated.
3. Look for things you want that are also interesting to you.
For example, "Pay off my debts" may not be as interesting or as motivational as "Become a debt-free millionaire!"
Happy New Year!
Two Simple Steps Anyone Can Take to Earn More Money
"Money flows toward points which attract prosurvival attention. You make as much money as you get attention." -- L. Ron Hubbard (prosurvival: something that aids or assists you or others)
Step One
First of all, your work, your service or product, needs to be prosurvival or beneficial to as many people as possible. What is the most beneficial thing you can do or create or produce?
You can attract attention by committing a horrible crime, but instead of getting rich, you go to prison. You attracted contra-survival attention. By contra-survival, we mean you are hurting people, not helping them.
You attract prosurvival attention when you help people live a better life.
If you show how you can help people with their survival, happiness and success, you make money. For example, not long ago, computers began helping people and businesses in many incredible ways. As a result, thousands of people in the computer industry became millionaires.
Advertising proves this point about attracting prosurvival attention. For example, "Buy this gizmo because we're a big, successful company" doesn't work. "Buy this gizmo! It will clean your bathtub for you" does work because it's helping people survive a little better in life.
On an individual level, you need to show how you are prosurvival. How you help people. How you help your company, your co-workers, your clients or customers. How you help the world!
Step Two
Now you attract attention every way you can.
Businesses that attract attention succeed. For example, McDonald's and Wal-Mart dominate their industries, but they continue to spend millions in advertising.
You, as an individual, can also attract attention. You simply tell people about your prosurvival product or service. You brag it up!
For example, a friendly, helpful car salesman always wore a green hat. Like many salesmen, he truly helped people. All his customers remembered and recommended him, not by his name, but as the "guy in the green hat." The hat got him attention and he wore it every day for decades. According to car sales legend, he sold more vehicles than anyone in history.
Unfortunately, when you start to attract attention, you might get kicked in the teeth. Certain people will go out of their way to make you shut up. They hate the idea of you succeeding.
So what?
If you respond to criticism by getting quiet, the bad guys win.
If you respond by attracting even more attention than before, you win!
Ten Tips For Attracting Prosurvival Attention
While the best ideas for attracting prosurvival attention will come from your own imagination and successes, the following ideas can help you get started.
1. Spread the news about your good work to everyone at your job, especially your boss.
2. Strike up conversations with strangers whenever possible.
3. Show something unique about yourself, like the man in the green hat. Stand out from the crowd.
4. Go to social events and meet as many new people as you can.
5. Share stories about your happy customers with other customers.
6. Get your family and friends to talk about the many ways you help people.
7. Learn how to speak in public and give speeches at every opportunity.
8. Post your prosurvival ideas on the web (blogs, bulletin boards, forums, your own website).
9. Look and act like a professional at all times.
10. Do things that are so beneficial that others are compelled to spread the news.
You'll soon see more money flowing your way.
Start!
Step One
First of all, your work, your service or product, needs to be prosurvival or beneficial to as many people as possible. What is the most beneficial thing you can do or create or produce?
You can attract attention by committing a horrible crime, but instead of getting rich, you go to prison. You attracted contra-survival attention. By contra-survival, we mean you are hurting people, not helping them.
You attract prosurvival attention when you help people live a better life.
If you show how you can help people with their survival, happiness and success, you make money. For example, not long ago, computers began helping people and businesses in many incredible ways. As a result, thousands of people in the computer industry became millionaires.
Advertising proves this point about attracting prosurvival attention. For example, "Buy this gizmo because we're a big, successful company" doesn't work. "Buy this gizmo! It will clean your bathtub for you" does work because it's helping people survive a little better in life.
On an individual level, you need to show how you are prosurvival. How you help people. How you help your company, your co-workers, your clients or customers. How you help the world!
Step Two
Now you attract attention every way you can.
Businesses that attract attention succeed. For example, McDonald's and Wal-Mart dominate their industries, but they continue to spend millions in advertising.
You, as an individual, can also attract attention. You simply tell people about your prosurvival product or service. You brag it up!
For example, a friendly, helpful car salesman always wore a green hat. Like many salesmen, he truly helped people. All his customers remembered and recommended him, not by his name, but as the "guy in the green hat." The hat got him attention and he wore it every day for decades. According to car sales legend, he sold more vehicles than anyone in history.
Unfortunately, when you start to attract attention, you might get kicked in the teeth. Certain people will go out of their way to make you shut up. They hate the idea of you succeeding.
So what?
If you respond to criticism by getting quiet, the bad guys win.
If you respond by attracting even more attention than before, you win!
Ten Tips For Attracting Prosurvival Attention
While the best ideas for attracting prosurvival attention will come from your own imagination and successes, the following ideas can help you get started.
1. Spread the news about your good work to everyone at your job, especially your boss.
2. Strike up conversations with strangers whenever possible.
3. Show something unique about yourself, like the man in the green hat. Stand out from the crowd.
4. Go to social events and meet as many new people as you can.
5. Share stories about your happy customers with other customers.
6. Get your family and friends to talk about the many ways you help people.
7. Learn how to speak in public and give speeches at every opportunity.
8. Post your prosurvival ideas on the web (blogs, bulletin boards, forums, your own website).
9. Look and act like a professional at all times.
10. Do things that are so beneficial that others are compelled to spread the news.
You'll soon see more money flowing your way.
Start!
Hate
Have you ever hated someone without knowing why?
Perhaps before you hated the person, you tried to help him or her.
For example, Jill says, "Can you give me a $3000 loan?"
You say, "No, I won't give you a loan, but I can show you how to get a raise."
Jill says, "Forget it! If I wanted your advice, I'd ask for it."
You suddenly feel mad at Jill.
"If you think of somebody you hate, you can probably remember a time when you tried to help him or a man like him. Your hatred, actually, is based on the fact that you flopped." -- L. Ron Hubbard
You tried to help someone and you flopped. Perhaps you gave some bad advice. Maybe the person didn't want the kind of help you offered.
Does someone hate you?
Did that person ever try to help you? Was it useless help? Did you reject his or her help?
It's a rotten feeling to try to help someone and fail.
How to Resolve This Hatred
"Pick a person that you've tried to help and get a discussion going on the subject of help. I'll guarantee that if you had a bad time trying to help that person, you're going to enter into one of the wilder discussions that you have been in for some time." -- L. Ron Hubbard
So instead of ignoring the person or talking about problems, talk about the subject of "help." Discuss giving help, receiving help, problems with help and so on.
Ten Sample Questions to Open the Discussion
1. Do you like getting help?
2. Do you like helping others?
3. How do you feel about me helping you?
4. How do you feel about helping me?
5. Have you ever tried to help me, but couldn't?
6. Is there a time I tried to help you, but I couldn't?
7. Do you wish you could help more people?
8. Do you wish more people could help you?
9. In the future, how can I help you?
10. In the future, do you want to help me? In what ways?
"Help is the most acceptable subject you ever discussed with anybody." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Give it a try!
Perhaps before you hated the person, you tried to help him or her.
For example, Jill says, "Can you give me a $3000 loan?"
You say, "No, I won't give you a loan, but I can show you how to get a raise."
Jill says, "Forget it! If I wanted your advice, I'd ask for it."
You suddenly feel mad at Jill.
"If you think of somebody you hate, you can probably remember a time when you tried to help him or a man like him. Your hatred, actually, is based on the fact that you flopped." -- L. Ron Hubbard
You tried to help someone and you flopped. Perhaps you gave some bad advice. Maybe the person didn't want the kind of help you offered.
Does someone hate you?
Did that person ever try to help you? Was it useless help? Did you reject his or her help?
It's a rotten feeling to try to help someone and fail.
How to Resolve This Hatred
"Pick a person that you've tried to help and get a discussion going on the subject of help. I'll guarantee that if you had a bad time trying to help that person, you're going to enter into one of the wilder discussions that you have been in for some time." -- L. Ron Hubbard
So instead of ignoring the person or talking about problems, talk about the subject of "help." Discuss giving help, receiving help, problems with help and so on.
Ten Sample Questions to Open the Discussion
1. Do you like getting help?
2. Do you like helping others?
3. How do you feel about me helping you?
4. How do you feel about helping me?
5. Have you ever tried to help me, but couldn't?
6. Is there a time I tried to help you, but I couldn't?
7. Do you wish you could help more people?
8. Do you wish more people could help you?
9. In the future, how can I help you?
10. In the future, do you want to help me? In what ways?
"Help is the most acceptable subject you ever discussed with anybody." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Give it a try!
Tear Apart Complicated Problems
You
decide to start your own t-shirt business. You get excited about
working for yourself and making a lot of money. So you decide to
take the plunge.
You then wonder, "What do I do first?" You suddenly feel fearful and confused.
You ask a few friends, "I want to start my own t-shirt business. What do I do first?" and they give you several different answers.
You ask a lawyer who tells you that you need to fill out a lot of forms and pay him $2500. Your accountant says the same thing.
You decide to study up on the subject. You check out Amazon.com bookstore and find over 300 books on starting businesses. You call your local college, but find they don't have a class on starting a business.
The more you research the subject, the more confused you feel. You feel like giving up on the idea.
Why?
"THE DEGREE OF COMPLEXITY IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE DEGREE OF NONCONFRONT." -- L. Ron Hubbard
If you can't face something, it gets complicated. It scares you, confuses you, upsets you. Your inability to confront the problem makes it complex.
Starting a business gives you stress. It makes you nervous. Because you cannot confront every part of it, it seems to complicated.
As another example, Pete wants a girlfriend, but every time he talks to a woman, he looks at his feet, sweats and stammers. He is terrified of women. His nonconfront is a big problem. Simply chatting with a woman seems very confusing to Pete.
So he decides to face his fear of talking to women. He starts talking to any female he can. He talks to his sister, an older woman in a store, the librarian, a few of his female coworkers and his friend's wife.
Sooner or later Pete realizes women are just people and not out to hurt him. He enjoys chatting and laughing with them. As soon as he can confront women, finding a girlfriend seems easy to Pete.
"THE DEGREE OF SIMPLICITY IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE DEGREE OF CONFRONT." -- L. Ron Hubbard
People who can take on complicated subjects are not afraid of them. For example, your roof leaks. To you, it's complicated: Which shingle should I remove? How do you remove shingles? Where do you buy new shingles?
But to a professional roofer, the problem is simple. You watch him fix the roof. By watching the process, you confront it. He pulls a few nails, digs out the bad shingles and installs the new ones. Simple!
How to Take Apart Problems
"To take apart a problem requires only to establish what one could not or would not confront." -- L. Ron Hubbard
All you need to do is figure out exactly what you cannot confront and you slice apart the problem.
For example, you want to start the t-shirt business. But instead of swimming in the confusion, or hiring someone to confront it for you, you ask yourself this question:
"What about this problem is difficult for me to face? What can't I confront about it?" You write down five things you can't confront.
1. Signing a long-term store space lease is scary.
2. T-shirt manufacturers seem like mean people.
3. What if the banker laughs at my loan application?
4. I'm afraid I'll hire bad employees.
5. My advertising ideas might make me look stupid.
Just making the list makes you feel better. Starting a business appears less chaotic. Then, you confront each individual item on your list.
You ask dozens of questions about leasing store space. You use a dictionary to figure out every paragraph of the lease. You change a section so you can cancel the lease, if necessary.
Next, you meet with a few t-shirt manufacturers. You discover they are very nice people.
You meet with a banker. You interview a few potential employees. You find out the kind of advertising you need to attract customers.
After facing all five items on your list, you realize it's not hard to make a t-shirt business succeed!
Solve Any Problem
What are the problems you face on your road to success? What seems too complicated?
Take this solution even further. What is complicated about life? Business? Law? Marriage? Politics? Death? What causes complications in this world? Nonconfront.
Take each problem apart by establishing what you can't confront. Write down everything that makes you afraid, anxious or angry. Everything about the problem that is difficult for you to face.
Then confront each piece. Get in there and deal with it. Persist until you can comfortably face each part of the confusion.
If a piece of the puzzle seems too big or complex, break it down as well.
Eventually, through courage, you solve the complexity.
Success, and life itself, becomes simple!
You then wonder, "What do I do first?" You suddenly feel fearful and confused.
You ask a few friends, "I want to start my own t-shirt business. What do I do first?" and they give you several different answers.
You ask a lawyer who tells you that you need to fill out a lot of forms and pay him $2500. Your accountant says the same thing.
You decide to study up on the subject. You check out Amazon.com bookstore and find over 300 books on starting businesses. You call your local college, but find they don't have a class on starting a business.
The more you research the subject, the more confused you feel. You feel like giving up on the idea.
Why?
"THE DEGREE OF COMPLEXITY IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE DEGREE OF NONCONFRONT." -- L. Ron Hubbard
If you can't face something, it gets complicated. It scares you, confuses you, upsets you. Your inability to confront the problem makes it complex.
Starting a business gives you stress. It makes you nervous. Because you cannot confront every part of it, it seems to complicated.
As another example, Pete wants a girlfriend, but every time he talks to a woman, he looks at his feet, sweats and stammers. He is terrified of women. His nonconfront is a big problem. Simply chatting with a woman seems very confusing to Pete.
So he decides to face his fear of talking to women. He starts talking to any female he can. He talks to his sister, an older woman in a store, the librarian, a few of his female coworkers and his friend's wife.
Sooner or later Pete realizes women are just people and not out to hurt him. He enjoys chatting and laughing with them. As soon as he can confront women, finding a girlfriend seems easy to Pete.
"THE DEGREE OF SIMPLICITY IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE DEGREE OF CONFRONT." -- L. Ron Hubbard
People who can take on complicated subjects are not afraid of them. For example, your roof leaks. To you, it's complicated: Which shingle should I remove? How do you remove shingles? Where do you buy new shingles?
But to a professional roofer, the problem is simple. You watch him fix the roof. By watching the process, you confront it. He pulls a few nails, digs out the bad shingles and installs the new ones. Simple!
How to Take Apart Problems
"To take apart a problem requires only to establish what one could not or would not confront." -- L. Ron Hubbard
All you need to do is figure out exactly what you cannot confront and you slice apart the problem.
For example, you want to start the t-shirt business. But instead of swimming in the confusion, or hiring someone to confront it for you, you ask yourself this question:
"What about this problem is difficult for me to face? What can't I confront about it?" You write down five things you can't confront.
1. Signing a long-term store space lease is scary.
2. T-shirt manufacturers seem like mean people.
3. What if the banker laughs at my loan application?
4. I'm afraid I'll hire bad employees.
5. My advertising ideas might make me look stupid.
Just making the list makes you feel better. Starting a business appears less chaotic. Then, you confront each individual item on your list.
You ask dozens of questions about leasing store space. You use a dictionary to figure out every paragraph of the lease. You change a section so you can cancel the lease, if necessary.
Next, you meet with a few t-shirt manufacturers. You discover they are very nice people.
You meet with a banker. You interview a few potential employees. You find out the kind of advertising you need to attract customers.
After facing all five items on your list, you realize it's not hard to make a t-shirt business succeed!
Solve Any Problem
What are the problems you face on your road to success? What seems too complicated?
Take this solution even further. What is complicated about life? Business? Law? Marriage? Politics? Death? What causes complications in this world? Nonconfront.
Take each problem apart by establishing what you can't confront. Write down everything that makes you afraid, anxious or angry. Everything about the problem that is difficult for you to face.
Then confront each piece. Get in there and deal with it. Persist until you can comfortably face each part of the confusion.
If a piece of the puzzle seems too big or complex, break it down as well.
Eventually, through courage, you solve the complexity.
Success, and life itself, becomes simple!
Does Too Much Affection Spoil Children?
People who feel they failed as parents usually share a common regret:
"I did not show my kids enough love."
On the other hand, no one ever regrets giving their children too much affection.
"Affection could no more spoil a child than the sun could be put out by a bucket of gasoline." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Giving a child an unlimited supply of toys and presents makes it difficult for a child to return a real exchange.
But giving a child an unlimited supply of love and affection is something a child can happily return to you . . . in abundance.
This advice applies to marriages as well. A lot of affection might put your spouse into a happy state of shock, but he or she won't be spoiled.
Go try it!
"I did not show my kids enough love."
On the other hand, no one ever regrets giving their children too much affection.
"Affection could no more spoil a child than the sun could be put out by a bucket of gasoline." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Giving a child an unlimited supply of toys and presents makes it difficult for a child to return a real exchange.
But giving a child an unlimited supply of love and affection is something a child can happily return to you . . . in abundance.
This advice applies to marriages as well. A lot of affection might put your spouse into a happy state of shock, but he or she won't be spoiled.
Go try it!
Self-criticism Does Not Help You Succeed
"You
are treating yourself in present time much as you were treated
by others in the past. And you punish yourself far more than
anyone would ever punish you." -- L. Ron Hubbard
How have people treated you in the past?
Have you ever noticed that you treat yourself the same way?
Unless everyone has always treated you with respect and kindness, you might criticize yourself from time to time. And self-criticism or self-invalidation, ruins your success.
False Ideas
At some point, you may have accepted these ideas to be true.
"If I cut myself down before anyone else cuts me down, I win!"
"I respect Joe's opinion. Joe thinks I'm an idiot. So I must be an idiot."
"If I punish myself, maybe others will leave me alone."
"I've heard it's sinful to like myself, so I'd better hate myself."
"No one knows my deep, dark secret: I'm actually a bad person."
Of course, all of these ideas are nonsense.
True Ideas
To succeed, you need to treat yourself with respect and admiration. To succeed, you need a high opinion of yourself. You need to remember that you are a good person.
"Actually you are a giant tied down with cotton lint. You tied the knots and furnished the string and said where you'd lie." "The cold, basic truth is that you are a vital and necessary part of this world." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Three Tips for Improving Your Success
1. Every time you criticize yourself about something, add a solution. Decide on a way to fix the weakness. Focus on improvement instead of problems.
For example, "I'm so stupid! Why didn't I ask him about his other company when I had the chance? No wonder I'm such a loser . . . wait, how can I fix this? From now on, I'm taking five minutes before each important meeting and writing a list of things to do so I don't mess up again. Great idea!"
2. Write down things about yourself of which you are proud. If necessary, start with small things, such as good personal habits. Keep writing until you improve your opinion.
For example, "I might be fat, but I brush my teeth regularly. I'm eating more vegetables these days. I haven't gotten angry at my kids for a month. I'm earning more money this year. I'm helping Joe with his drinking problem . . . ."
3. If you cannot improve your opinion of yourself, the solution lies below your consciousness. Read Dianetics: The Evolution of a Science (free online copy at www.dianetics-theevolutionofascience.org) to learn how you can find and erase the roots of irrational thoughts.
How have people treated you in the past?
Have you ever noticed that you treat yourself the same way?
Unless everyone has always treated you with respect and kindness, you might criticize yourself from time to time. And self-criticism or self-invalidation, ruins your success.
False Ideas
At some point, you may have accepted these ideas to be true.
"If I cut myself down before anyone else cuts me down, I win!"
"I respect Joe's opinion. Joe thinks I'm an idiot. So I must be an idiot."
"If I punish myself, maybe others will leave me alone."
"I've heard it's sinful to like myself, so I'd better hate myself."
"No one knows my deep, dark secret: I'm actually a bad person."
Of course, all of these ideas are nonsense.
True Ideas
To succeed, you need to treat yourself with respect and admiration. To succeed, you need a high opinion of yourself. You need to remember that you are a good person.
"Actually you are a giant tied down with cotton lint. You tied the knots and furnished the string and said where you'd lie." "The cold, basic truth is that you are a vital and necessary part of this world." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Three Tips for Improving Your Success
1. Every time you criticize yourself about something, add a solution. Decide on a way to fix the weakness. Focus on improvement instead of problems.
For example, "I'm so stupid! Why didn't I ask him about his other company when I had the chance? No wonder I'm such a loser . . . wait, how can I fix this? From now on, I'm taking five minutes before each important meeting and writing a list of things to do so I don't mess up again. Great idea!"
2. Write down things about yourself of which you are proud. If necessary, start with small things, such as good personal habits. Keep writing until you improve your opinion.
For example, "I might be fat, but I brush my teeth regularly. I'm eating more vegetables these days. I haven't gotten angry at my kids for a month. I'm earning more money this year. I'm helping Joe with his drinking problem . . . ."
3. If you cannot improve your opinion of yourself, the solution lies below your consciousness. Read Dianetics: The Evolution of a Science (free online copy at www.dianetics-theevolutionofascience.org) to learn how you can find and erase the roots of irrational thoughts.
Good Manners Are Key to Your Success
Do
you like people who are rude to you? Do you mind if someone
interrupts you? Are you happy when people ignore you?
Of course not. No one likes bad manners.
People with bad manners are rejected. They do not get the good jobs or the promotions. Their businesses do not succeed.
People with good manners are accepted. They are liked and supported. They have the friends, the luck and the success.
"In a culture, manners are the lubrication that ease the frictions of social contacts." -- L. Ron Hubbard
When you improve your social conduct, you improve your chances for success. You earn the support, respect and popularity you need to succeed.
12 Examples of Good Manners
Good manners vary from one culture to another. The following examples apply to most circumstances.
1. Be polite to everyone you meet. You will never regret being too polite, but you might regret being rude. For example, when you go on a sales call or job interview, be courteous to receptionists and assistants as they can affect your chances of succeeding.
2. Use the magic words as often as possible: "Please," "Excuse me," "Sorry" and "Thank you."
3. Use good manners in all communications. Examples:
* Return telephone and e-mail messages within 24 hours.
* Do not use swear words or vulgar words.
* If you receive a rude message, do not respond until you can be polite.
* Do not interrupt people.
* Make sure people are ready to listen to you before you start talking.
* Talk less than 50% of the time.
4. Leave generous tips for food servers, luggage handlers, auto valets, hairdressers or barbers who do their jobs.
5. Use good manners as a driver. Weaving in and out of heavy traffic and cutting in front of other cars only gains you a few seconds of time. If you are courteous, patient and calm, you arrive safely and more relaxed.
6. Do not blow your nose, use toothpicks or perform other bodily activities in front of guests or people you respect. Never smoke around a non-smoker.
7. Show your appreciation at every opportunity, even for small things. "Thank you for returning my call." "Your advice has been very helpful." "I appreciate your taking the time to meet with me."
8. Arrive early for appointments. When you arrive late, you appear to be disrespectful, disorganized or both.
9. A good sense of humor is good manners. However, avoid all jokes about race, disability, sex and so on. Tell jokes about yourself or pass on humorous stories that anyone would enjoy.
10. If someone treats you with bad manners, do not lower yourself to the same level. Smooth out the friction with your best manners. For example, when one politician publicly criticizes another, the smarter politician is polite. For example, "Senator, I respect you too much to respond to that."
11. Before starting important conversations, meals or meetings, turn off your cell phone. Ignoring people while you chat on your cell phone is disrespectful. You can probably leave your cell phone off for hours with no lasting harm.
12. Do not try to show off or prove you are more important than others. This is called "one-upmanship" and is poor manners. For example, a friend is excited about meeting an important scientist. You immediately "top" him and tell about the time when you met a much more important scientist.
Of course not. No one likes bad manners.
People with bad manners are rejected. They do not get the good jobs or the promotions. Their businesses do not succeed.
People with good manners are accepted. They are liked and supported. They have the friends, the luck and the success.
"In a culture, manners are the lubrication that ease the frictions of social contacts." -- L. Ron Hubbard
When you improve your social conduct, you improve your chances for success. You earn the support, respect and popularity you need to succeed.
12 Examples of Good Manners
Good manners vary from one culture to another. The following examples apply to most circumstances.
1. Be polite to everyone you meet. You will never regret being too polite, but you might regret being rude. For example, when you go on a sales call or job interview, be courteous to receptionists and assistants as they can affect your chances of succeeding.
2. Use the magic words as often as possible: "Please," "Excuse me," "Sorry" and "Thank you."
3. Use good manners in all communications. Examples:
* Return telephone and e-mail messages within 24 hours.
* Do not use swear words or vulgar words.
* If you receive a rude message, do not respond until you can be polite.
* Do not interrupt people.
* Make sure people are ready to listen to you before you start talking.
* Talk less than 50% of the time.
4. Leave generous tips for food servers, luggage handlers, auto valets, hairdressers or barbers who do their jobs.
5. Use good manners as a driver. Weaving in and out of heavy traffic and cutting in front of other cars only gains you a few seconds of time. If you are courteous, patient and calm, you arrive safely and more relaxed.
6. Do not blow your nose, use toothpicks or perform other bodily activities in front of guests or people you respect. Never smoke around a non-smoker.
7. Show your appreciation at every opportunity, even for small things. "Thank you for returning my call." "Your advice has been very helpful." "I appreciate your taking the time to meet with me."
8. Arrive early for appointments. When you arrive late, you appear to be disrespectful, disorganized or both.
9. A good sense of humor is good manners. However, avoid all jokes about race, disability, sex and so on. Tell jokes about yourself or pass on humorous stories that anyone would enjoy.
10. If someone treats you with bad manners, do not lower yourself to the same level. Smooth out the friction with your best manners. For example, when one politician publicly criticizes another, the smarter politician is polite. For example, "Senator, I respect you too much to respond to that."
11. Before starting important conversations, meals or meetings, turn off your cell phone. Ignoring people while you chat on your cell phone is disrespectful. You can probably leave your cell phone off for hours with no lasting harm.
12. Do not try to show off or prove you are more important than others. This is called "one-upmanship" and is poor manners. For example, a friend is excited about meeting an important scientist. You immediately "top" him and tell about the time when you met a much more important scientist.
The Secret of Efficiency
Do
you ever feel overworked, overloaded or overwhelmed? Is this
because you have too much to do? Because your boss is too
demanding? Because your work goals are too large?
Why can some people produce twice as much as others? For example, Jane not only handles three kids, but works 30 hours per week and runs a small business from her home office. Jane's house is always clean and she cooks incredible meals for her family.
Jill, on the other hand, has one daughter, produces no income, can't keep up with her housework and prefers pizza or Chinese food delivery for dinners.
Both Jane and Jill are good mothers, but why are they so different? Are you more like Jane or Jill?
If you want to be efficient and get more done in less time, you simply rid yourself of two bad habits and form one good habit.
Two Bad Habits
1. The first bad habit is to look at a piece of work you are supposed to do-a letter, program, interoffice communication, task assignment, request, whatever-and put it aside to do later.
Instead of acting, you read it, digest it, think about doing it, consider the problems involved, sigh, and put it down to do later. Nothing is accomplished. A total waste of time.
2. The second bad habit is taking a piece of work, deciding you do not want to do it and referring it to someone else, even though it is your job to do. The other person eventually sends it back to you. A total waste of your time and the other person's time.
One Good Habit
"Do it Now."
"One of the best ways to cut your work in half is not to do it twice."
"If you do every piece of work that comes your way WHEN it comes your way and not after a while, if you always take the initiative and take action, not refer it, you never get any traffic back. . ."
"In short, the way to get rid of traffic is to do it, not to refer it; anything referred has to be read by you again, digested again, and handled again; so never refer traffic, just do it so it's done."
"So if you are truly a lover of ease, the sort of person who yawns comfortably and wears holes in heels resting them on desks, if your true ambition is one long bout of spring fever, then you'll do as I suggest and handle everything that comes your way when it comes and not later; and you'll never refer anything to anybody that you yourself can do promptly."
"Do it when you see it and do it yourself." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Recommendation
You can form the "do-it-now" habit by making yourself do it now, every time you can. And the best time to get the "do-it-now" habit is, of course, RIGHT NOW!
1. Take a stack of papers or any kind of cluttered mess that you need to handle.
2. Read or examine the first item.
3. Deal with it.
If the item has no current use, file it, store it or throw it away.
If you need to take action, do it right now. Persist until the job is completely DONE.
If you dislike the work involved, it is even more important that you do it right now.
". . . take the initiative and take action . . . ."
4. Remember the rewards of the do-it-now habit.
If you do your work in half the time, how will you spend the extra time? What new activity could you do that would increase your productivity? What would be fun to do if you had some extra time on your hands?
Give it a try!
Why can some people produce twice as much as others? For example, Jane not only handles three kids, but works 30 hours per week and runs a small business from her home office. Jane's house is always clean and she cooks incredible meals for her family.
Jill, on the other hand, has one daughter, produces no income, can't keep up with her housework and prefers pizza or Chinese food delivery for dinners.
Both Jane and Jill are good mothers, but why are they so different? Are you more like Jane or Jill?
If you want to be efficient and get more done in less time, you simply rid yourself of two bad habits and form one good habit.
Two Bad Habits
1. The first bad habit is to look at a piece of work you are supposed to do-a letter, program, interoffice communication, task assignment, request, whatever-and put it aside to do later.
Instead of acting, you read it, digest it, think about doing it, consider the problems involved, sigh, and put it down to do later. Nothing is accomplished. A total waste of time.
2. The second bad habit is taking a piece of work, deciding you do not want to do it and referring it to someone else, even though it is your job to do. The other person eventually sends it back to you. A total waste of your time and the other person's time.
One Good Habit
"Do it Now."
"One of the best ways to cut your work in half is not to do it twice."
"If you do every piece of work that comes your way WHEN it comes your way and not after a while, if you always take the initiative and take action, not refer it, you never get any traffic back. . ."
"In short, the way to get rid of traffic is to do it, not to refer it; anything referred has to be read by you again, digested again, and handled again; so never refer traffic, just do it so it's done."
"So if you are truly a lover of ease, the sort of person who yawns comfortably and wears holes in heels resting them on desks, if your true ambition is one long bout of spring fever, then you'll do as I suggest and handle everything that comes your way when it comes and not later; and you'll never refer anything to anybody that you yourself can do promptly."
"Do it when you see it and do it yourself." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Recommendation
You can form the "do-it-now" habit by making yourself do it now, every time you can. And the best time to get the "do-it-now" habit is, of course, RIGHT NOW!
1. Take a stack of papers or any kind of cluttered mess that you need to handle.
2. Read or examine the first item.
3. Deal with it.
If the item has no current use, file it, store it or throw it away.
If you need to take action, do it right now. Persist until the job is completely DONE.
If you dislike the work involved, it is even more important that you do it right now.
". . . take the initiative and take action . . . ."
4. Remember the rewards of the do-it-now habit.
If you do your work in half the time, how will you spend the extra time? What new activity could you do that would increase your productivity? What would be fun to do if you had some extra time on your hands?
Give it a try!
Improve Your Health and Happiness
You may have heard that to succeed, you need to adjust yourself to the world around you. Examples:
"You'd better get used to it as that's the way it is." "To be happy, you must compromise." "Don't make waves!"
Yet, to succeed, you must take a different approach.
"Man succeeds because he adjusts his environment to him, not by adjusting himself to the environment." -- L. Ron Hubbard
You decide what you want and how you want it. You take an active role. You change the world around you.
Think of the most successful people you know. Do they mold themselves to fit in? Or do they change the world around them?
As well as determining your success, your ability to adjust your environment also determines your health and happiness.
"So long as an individual maintains his own belief in his ability to handle the physical universe and organisms about him and to control them if necessary or to work in harmony with them, and to make himself competent over and among the physical universe of his environment, he remains healthy, stable and balanced and cheerful."-- L. Ron Hubbard
Jack and Jill
Jack tries to get along and not cause trouble. His neighbor plays loud rock-and-roll music all night long, so Jack buys ear plugs. Jack hates leaving his apartment as the building lobby is full of boxes and junk; he just steps around the mess. His co-worker makes Jack pick him up for work each day with no compensation, ". . . since you drive near my house anyway." Each year, he develops some kind of illness or needs an operation. After 25 years at the same company, Jack is only making $22 per hour, but he does not mind as his company gives him good health insurance. At the age of 51, Jack gets cancer and dies.
Jill moves into Jack's vacant apartment and can't sleep because of the loud music. She calls the neighbor and works out an agreement so the neighbor plays music all day while she works, but won't at night. Jill convinces this neighbor and a few of the other tenants to spend a few hours cleaning up the lobby and the entry; they even wash the sidewalk and plant some flowers. Even though Jill has earned several management promotions and pay increases at her company, she decides to start her own business and makes it successful. She soon buys the apartment building and takes over the top floor for herself. Jill is never ill and at the age of 78, still spends a few hours each week working at her company.
Obviously, Jack adjusts himself to the environment while Jill adjusts the environment to herself. Are you more like Jack or Jill?
Recommendations
1. Decide to take over your world and adjust your world to your needs and wants.
2. Make a list of everything around you that you would like to change.
Examples
Clean the house
Change my car oil
Tear out all the weeds in my garden
Exercise daily and lose 10 pounds
Reorganize my desk
Make people stop dropping in to chat while I'm working
Call the city to fix the broken street light
3. Select the easiest items on your list and go change them. Then change the next easiest items and so on.
4. Constantly change and improve the world around you. Never settle back, give up or "accept reality." Make steady progress while maintaining your control of the parts you have already conquered.
If you continue to increase your control of the elements in your environment, you become healthier, happier and more successful.
"You'd better get used to it as that's the way it is." "To be happy, you must compromise." "Don't make waves!"
Yet, to succeed, you must take a different approach.
"Man succeeds because he adjusts his environment to him, not by adjusting himself to the environment." -- L. Ron Hubbard
You decide what you want and how you want it. You take an active role. You change the world around you.
Think of the most successful people you know. Do they mold themselves to fit in? Or do they change the world around them?
As well as determining your success, your ability to adjust your environment also determines your health and happiness.
"So long as an individual maintains his own belief in his ability to handle the physical universe and organisms about him and to control them if necessary or to work in harmony with them, and to make himself competent over and among the physical universe of his environment, he remains healthy, stable and balanced and cheerful."-- L. Ron Hubbard
Jack and Jill
Jack tries to get along and not cause trouble. His neighbor plays loud rock-and-roll music all night long, so Jack buys ear plugs. Jack hates leaving his apartment as the building lobby is full of boxes and junk; he just steps around the mess. His co-worker makes Jack pick him up for work each day with no compensation, ". . . since you drive near my house anyway." Each year, he develops some kind of illness or needs an operation. After 25 years at the same company, Jack is only making $22 per hour, but he does not mind as his company gives him good health insurance. At the age of 51, Jack gets cancer and dies.
Jill moves into Jack's vacant apartment and can't sleep because of the loud music. She calls the neighbor and works out an agreement so the neighbor plays music all day while she works, but won't at night. Jill convinces this neighbor and a few of the other tenants to spend a few hours cleaning up the lobby and the entry; they even wash the sidewalk and plant some flowers. Even though Jill has earned several management promotions and pay increases at her company, she decides to start her own business and makes it successful. She soon buys the apartment building and takes over the top floor for herself. Jill is never ill and at the age of 78, still spends a few hours each week working at her company.
Obviously, Jack adjusts himself to the environment while Jill adjusts the environment to herself. Are you more like Jack or Jill?
Recommendations
1. Decide to take over your world and adjust your world to your needs and wants.
2. Make a list of everything around you that you would like to change.
Examples
Clean the house
Change my car oil
Tear out all the weeds in my garden
Exercise daily and lose 10 pounds
Reorganize my desk
Make people stop dropping in to chat while I'm working
Call the city to fix the broken street light
3. Select the easiest items on your list and go change them. Then change the next easiest items and so on.
4. Constantly change and improve the world around you. Never settle back, give up or "accept reality." Make steady progress while maintaining your control of the parts you have already conquered.
If you continue to increase your control of the elements in your environment, you become healthier, happier and more successful.
Stupid Thinking
Can you think things through? When you do something, do you consider what will happen next?
If you hit your hand with a hammer, it will hurt. If you scream at people, you will not be loved. If you steal cars, you will go to jail.
If you can think in sequence, you are probably not a criminal. You can see the consequences of a crime. A criminal cannot think that far ahead.
"This is a consequence. 'If you saw off the limb you are sitting on you will of course fall.'
"Police try to bring this home often to people who have no concept of sequence; so the threat of punishment works well on well-behaved citizens and not at all on criminals since they often are criminals because they can't think in sequence." -- L. Ron Hubbard
For example, a murderer may only think about revenge. He cannot see beyond the death of the person he hates. He does not think about living in prison for 50 years.
Smart people get what they want without crime. Only criminals are stupid enough to think a crime has no consequences.
For example, if you want $500, you can just work at a job. Even at $7.00 per hour, it only takes two weeks to earn $500. You can spend it however you like, no stress, no secrets, no risks.
A criminal robs a store for $500 without thinking it through. If he's not caught right away, he must keep his crime a secret. He might need to hide. His life is no longer open, happy and trusting. For just $500, he ruins his life and reduces his chances for success.
A criminal also fails to see how he or she hurts others. A stolen car, even when insured, can take months to replace. Stolen money might represent someone's life savings and ruin their retirement years. The victims of a violent crime can suffer a lifetime of pain as the result of the criminal's act.
Street-drug users can only think about their next high. If they looked further into the future, they would see damage to their bodies, financial ruin and failed marriages. Prison time is also a real possibility; in fact, half of the inmates in US prisons are there for violating drug laws.
Only when a criminal gets smart and thinks in sequence does he or she stop committing crimes.
Small Crimes
People who commit small crimes do not think in sequence either. "If I take a few office supplies, no one will know." This person does not see the nagging feeling of guilt or the possibility of getting caught, getting fired and being labeled a criminal. This person does not see the big risks far outweigh the tiny benefit.
Crimes against your spouse, friends or family might not lead to jail time, but can be equally devastating. For example, the sequences of a sexual affair can lead to disease, blackmail, legal problems and divorce.
Even lying is a sign of stupid thinking. People who lie are shocked when no one believes them any longer. They fail to consider at least three sequences of a lie: you need to remember your lie for a long time so you do not accidentally tell the truth; if caught in your lie, you look twice as bad than if you had just admitted the truth in the first place; lying can also make you feel guilty and unhappy.
Recommendations
1. When making a big decision, think in sequence. If you do Plan A, what are the consequences? If you do Plan B, what are those consequences?
2. Teach children how to think in sequence. "If you hit your brother, what might happen? Let's ask him." "If you don't do your homework, what will happen?" "If you steal candy from the store, what might happen? What would it be like to get caught? Let's ask the store manager what would happen."
3. Talk to criminals about sequences. Help them see the bigger picture. Get them to practice thinking in sequence. As crime hurts everyone directly or indirectly, we all increase our chances of success by helping criminals get smarter.
If you hit your hand with a hammer, it will hurt. If you scream at people, you will not be loved. If you steal cars, you will go to jail.
If you can think in sequence, you are probably not a criminal. You can see the consequences of a crime. A criminal cannot think that far ahead.
"This is a consequence. 'If you saw off the limb you are sitting on you will of course fall.'
"Police try to bring this home often to people who have no concept of sequence; so the threat of punishment works well on well-behaved citizens and not at all on criminals since they often are criminals because they can't think in sequence." -- L. Ron Hubbard
For example, a murderer may only think about revenge. He cannot see beyond the death of the person he hates. He does not think about living in prison for 50 years.
Smart people get what they want without crime. Only criminals are stupid enough to think a crime has no consequences.
For example, if you want $500, you can just work at a job. Even at $7.00 per hour, it only takes two weeks to earn $500. You can spend it however you like, no stress, no secrets, no risks.
A criminal robs a store for $500 without thinking it through. If he's not caught right away, he must keep his crime a secret. He might need to hide. His life is no longer open, happy and trusting. For just $500, he ruins his life and reduces his chances for success.
A criminal also fails to see how he or she hurts others. A stolen car, even when insured, can take months to replace. Stolen money might represent someone's life savings and ruin their retirement years. The victims of a violent crime can suffer a lifetime of pain as the result of the criminal's act.
Street-drug users can only think about their next high. If they looked further into the future, they would see damage to their bodies, financial ruin and failed marriages. Prison time is also a real possibility; in fact, half of the inmates in US prisons are there for violating drug laws.
Only when a criminal gets smart and thinks in sequence does he or she stop committing crimes.
Small Crimes
People who commit small crimes do not think in sequence either. "If I take a few office supplies, no one will know." This person does not see the nagging feeling of guilt or the possibility of getting caught, getting fired and being labeled a criminal. This person does not see the big risks far outweigh the tiny benefit.
Crimes against your spouse, friends or family might not lead to jail time, but can be equally devastating. For example, the sequences of a sexual affair can lead to disease, blackmail, legal problems and divorce.
Even lying is a sign of stupid thinking. People who lie are shocked when no one believes them any longer. They fail to consider at least three sequences of a lie: you need to remember your lie for a long time so you do not accidentally tell the truth; if caught in your lie, you look twice as bad than if you had just admitted the truth in the first place; lying can also make you feel guilty and unhappy.
Recommendations
1. When making a big decision, think in sequence. If you do Plan A, what are the consequences? If you do Plan B, what are those consequences?
2. Teach children how to think in sequence. "If you hit your brother, what might happen? Let's ask him." "If you don't do your homework, what will happen?" "If you steal candy from the store, what might happen? What would it be like to get caught? Let's ask the store manager what would happen."
3. Talk to criminals about sequences. Help them see the bigger picture. Get them to practice thinking in sequence. As crime hurts everyone directly or indirectly, we all increase our chances of success by helping criminals get smarter.
A Powerful Communication Technique
Why do you like talking to some people more than others? Do some people seem to understand you better than others?
Do you wish people felt more comfortable talking to you? Would you like people to confide in you more often?
If so, you'll like this simple, yet powerful, communication technique.
After someone tells you something, what should you do next? How do you let the person know you heard what he or she said?
"Acknowledgment: Something said or done to inform another that his statement or action has been noted, understood and received. 'Very good,' 'Okay,' and other such phrases are intended to inform another who has spoken or acted that his statement or action has been accepted."
"Acknowledgment itself does not necessarily imply an approval or disapproval or any other thing beyond the knowledge that an action or statement has been observed and is received." -- L. Ron Hubbard
An acknowledgment can be a nod or a smile, a "thank you" or an "okay." It lets the person know that you received his or her communication.
For example, if I ask you for the time and you reply, "It's nine o'clock," how would you know I received your answer if I didn't give you an acknowledgment? You would not know if you have been heard.
10 Acknowledgment Facts
1. Some people do not like to talk. Why? At some point, they may have tried to express themselves and were ignored. They have given up the idea that anyone listens to them.
2. Other people talk all the time as they believe no one hears them. They are still trying to get through. They think that if they talk long enough, someone will listen. If someone would acknowledge them, they would relax.
3. When employers give their staff members a good acknowledgment for completing their work, the staff members feel proud and satisfied.
"Boss, I finished that project ahead of schedule and under budget!"
"Good job!"
If the boss does not acknowledge the project completion, the employee will either repeat the statement or give up and lose interest in talking to the boss.
4. Employees who are not acknowledged will demand more pay because pay is a form of acknowledgment. Without any acknowledgments, an employee will eventually give up and find a boss who appreciates the employee's hard work.
5. Bosses and parents need acknowledgment as well.
"Could you clean up this area before you leave?"
Silence.
"I said, clean up this area before you leave."
Blank face.
"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I SAID CLEAN UP THE AREA BEFORE YOU LEAVE! GOT IT?"
6. Acknowledgments keep relationships going. If you never respond to personal letters, no one will write to you. If you forget to thank people for their gifts, you eventually get no gifts. If you never return telephone calls, your phone goes silent.
7. Acknowledging e-mail communication is also important. With so many spam filters around, you might not know that your message got through if the person does not write back. You improve your relationships when you acknowledge your e-mail: "Thanks for the note."
8. Children who are not acknowledged get upset and demand more attention. "Mommy? Watch this! Mommy? Watch me! Mommy? Look at me! Mommy? Mommy?" Parents who acknowledge their children have calmer, more confident children.
9. Even dogs and cats are happier when you acknowledge their efforts to please you. Ignore them and they might cause problems.
10. When people do not acknowledge you, you repeat yourself. You start to nod your head as you talk. You speak louder. You get angry or yell.
Finally, you might decide "to heck with it" and stop talking.
Next time someone repeats themselves or gets irritated at you for no reason, give him or her a good acknowledgment. "Yes, I understand. Thank you."
If you are not sure an acknowledgment is important, listen to someone talk to you and then say nothing. Remain silent. Don't even nod your head. Notice how they react.
Then give the person some relief and say, "Oh, sorry. I heard you. Please go on."
How to Give Great Acknowledgments
To properly acknowledge someone, pay attention and wait until the person is finished. Then indicate you received and understood the message. "Okay," "Thanks," "Good," "All right," "I got that," "No problem," "Makes sense," "Sure thing," "Fine," "Roger" or whatever.
Give it a try!
Do you wish people felt more comfortable talking to you? Would you like people to confide in you more often?
If so, you'll like this simple, yet powerful, communication technique.
After someone tells you something, what should you do next? How do you let the person know you heard what he or she said?
"Acknowledgment: Something said or done to inform another that his statement or action has been noted, understood and received. 'Very good,' 'Okay,' and other such phrases are intended to inform another who has spoken or acted that his statement or action has been accepted."
"Acknowledgment itself does not necessarily imply an approval or disapproval or any other thing beyond the knowledge that an action or statement has been observed and is received." -- L. Ron Hubbard
An acknowledgment can be a nod or a smile, a "thank you" or an "okay." It lets the person know that you received his or her communication.
For example, if I ask you for the time and you reply, "It's nine o'clock," how would you know I received your answer if I didn't give you an acknowledgment? You would not know if you have been heard.
10 Acknowledgment Facts
1. Some people do not like to talk. Why? At some point, they may have tried to express themselves and were ignored. They have given up the idea that anyone listens to them.
2. Other people talk all the time as they believe no one hears them. They are still trying to get through. They think that if they talk long enough, someone will listen. If someone would acknowledge them, they would relax.
3. When employers give their staff members a good acknowledgment for completing their work, the staff members feel proud and satisfied.
"Boss, I finished that project ahead of schedule and under budget!"
"Good job!"
If the boss does not acknowledge the project completion, the employee will either repeat the statement or give up and lose interest in talking to the boss.
4. Employees who are not acknowledged will demand more pay because pay is a form of acknowledgment. Without any acknowledgments, an employee will eventually give up and find a boss who appreciates the employee's hard work.
5. Bosses and parents need acknowledgment as well.
"Could you clean up this area before you leave?"
Silence.
"I said, clean up this area before you leave."
Blank face.
"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I SAID CLEAN UP THE AREA BEFORE YOU LEAVE! GOT IT?"
6. Acknowledgments keep relationships going. If you never respond to personal letters, no one will write to you. If you forget to thank people for their gifts, you eventually get no gifts. If you never return telephone calls, your phone goes silent.
7. Acknowledging e-mail communication is also important. With so many spam filters around, you might not know that your message got through if the person does not write back. You improve your relationships when you acknowledge your e-mail: "Thanks for the note."
8. Children who are not acknowledged get upset and demand more attention. "Mommy? Watch this! Mommy? Watch me! Mommy? Look at me! Mommy? Mommy?" Parents who acknowledge their children have calmer, more confident children.
9. Even dogs and cats are happier when you acknowledge their efforts to please you. Ignore them and they might cause problems.
10. When people do not acknowledge you, you repeat yourself. You start to nod your head as you talk. You speak louder. You get angry or yell.
Finally, you might decide "to heck with it" and stop talking.
Next time someone repeats themselves or gets irritated at you for no reason, give him or her a good acknowledgment. "Yes, I understand. Thank you."
If you are not sure an acknowledgment is important, listen to someone talk to you and then say nothing. Remain silent. Don't even nod your head. Notice how they react.
Then give the person some relief and say, "Oh, sorry. I heard you. Please go on."
How to Give Great Acknowledgments
To properly acknowledge someone, pay attention and wait until the person is finished. Then indicate you received and understood the message. "Okay," "Thanks," "Good," "All right," "I got that," "No problem," "Makes sense," "Sure thing," "Fine," "Roger" or whatever.
Give it a try!
How to Solve "Unsolvable" Problems
Are you afraid? Angry? Worried? Is your attention stuck on a problem?
If so, you might simply need to exercise your mental abilities.
Your mind is like a powerful computer. It's job is to solve problems so you can enjoy a successful life.
In a 1951 handbook, L. Ron Hubbard wrote these exercises to help you improve the performance of your mind. Give it a try! You might be amazed at how easily you can solve huge, long-term problems, by yourself, right now, on your own.
"Problems do not solve for two reasons: The first is lack of data; the second is an earlier unsolved problem on the same subject."
"This will become clearer to you when you have completed the following exercise."
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU ARE NOT SOLVING IN THE PRESENT."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WISH YOU KNEW ABOUT EACH ONE OF THE PROBLEMS ABOVE (THE MISSING DATA YOU WISH YOU HAD.)"
"NOW LIST HOW IMPORTANT YOU NOW FEEL THESE PROBLEMS ACTUALLY ARE OR WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE NOW SOLVED."
"IF ANY OF THE FIVE PROBLEMS REMAIN UNSOLVED, LIST WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO DO TO SOLVE THEM."
"Now let us take a glance at the past. There are several problems, undoubtedly, which you feel you did not solve.
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU FEEL YOU DID NOT SOLVE IN THE PAST."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WISH YOU HAD KNOWN ABOUT EACH ONE OF THE PROBLEMS ABOVE."
"NOW LIST HOW IMPORTANT THESE PROBLEMS ACTUALLY ARE TO YOUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES."
"IF ANY OF THE ABOVE PROBLEMS STILL BOTHER YOU, WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO DO TO OR KNOW IN ORDER TO RESOLVE THEM?"
"Let us now take a look at the problems of the future.
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU THINK YOU WILL HAVE TO SOLVE IN THE FUTURE."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WILL HAVE TO DO NOW TO SOLVE THESE PROBLEMS IN THE FUTURE."
"NOW LIST HOW VITAL THESE PROBLEMS MAY BECOME TO YOUR EXISTENCE."
"IF ANY OF THE ABOVE PROBLEMS WORRY YOU, IT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT DECIDED UPON YOUR COURSE OF ACTION. TRY TO LIST YOUR COURSE AS IT WILL PROBABLY BE TAKEN." -- L. Ron Hubbard
If so, you might simply need to exercise your mental abilities.
Your mind is like a powerful computer. It's job is to solve problems so you can enjoy a successful life.
In a 1951 handbook, L. Ron Hubbard wrote these exercises to help you improve the performance of your mind. Give it a try! You might be amazed at how easily you can solve huge, long-term problems, by yourself, right now, on your own.
"Problems do not solve for two reasons: The first is lack of data; the second is an earlier unsolved problem on the same subject."
"This will become clearer to you when you have completed the following exercise."
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU ARE NOT SOLVING IN THE PRESENT."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WISH YOU KNEW ABOUT EACH ONE OF THE PROBLEMS ABOVE (THE MISSING DATA YOU WISH YOU HAD.)"
"NOW LIST HOW IMPORTANT YOU NOW FEEL THESE PROBLEMS ACTUALLY ARE OR WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE NOW SOLVED."
"IF ANY OF THE FIVE PROBLEMS REMAIN UNSOLVED, LIST WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO DO TO SOLVE THEM."
"Now let us take a glance at the past. There are several problems, undoubtedly, which you feel you did not solve.
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU FEEL YOU DID NOT SOLVE IN THE PAST."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WISH YOU HAD KNOWN ABOUT EACH ONE OF THE PROBLEMS ABOVE."
"NOW LIST HOW IMPORTANT THESE PROBLEMS ACTUALLY ARE TO YOUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES."
"IF ANY OF THE ABOVE PROBLEMS STILL BOTHER YOU, WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE TO DO TO OR KNOW IN ORDER TO RESOLVE THEM?"
"Let us now take a look at the problems of the future.
"LIST FIVE PROBLEMS, WITH PEOPLE OR OBJECTS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH YOU THINK YOU WILL HAVE TO SOLVE IN THE FUTURE."
"NOW LIST WHAT YOU WILL HAVE TO DO NOW TO SOLVE THESE PROBLEMS IN THE FUTURE."
"NOW LIST HOW VITAL THESE PROBLEMS MAY BECOME TO YOUR EXISTENCE."
"IF ANY OF THE ABOVE PROBLEMS WORRY YOU, IT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT DECIDED UPON YOUR COURSE OF ACTION. TRY TO LIST YOUR COURSE AS IT WILL PROBABLY BE TAKEN." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Delegating Power
Question: What is the most common fear of executives?
Answer: Delegating power to employees who might fail.
Only courageous leaders are able to pass down authority, decision-making power and responsibility to those below them. They do this despite the incompetence, inability and inexperience of their people.
History is filled with leaders who could not lead. L. Ron Hubbard uses a South American leader, Simon Bolivar, as an example of how extraordinary people can fail as executives.
Simon Bolivar successfully won the South American revolutionary war against Spain during the 1800's. After the war he was the richest, most powerful man in South America, but only for a brief period. Because of his mistakes, he was kicked out of his country and eventually, died broke.
Bolivar made the same mistake most failed executives make. He could not delegate power.
"Brave beyond any general in history on the battlefield, the Andes or in torrential rivers, he [Simon Bolivar] did not really have the bravery needed to trust inferior minds and stand by their often shocking blunders. He feared their blunders. So he did not dare unleash his many willing hounds.
"He could lead men, make men feel wonderful, make men fight and lay down their lives after hardships no army elsewhere in the world had ever faced before or since. But he could not use men even when they were begging to be used."
"If you have power, use it or delegate it or you sure won't have it long." -- L. Ron Hubbard
You fail as an executive whenever you bypass an employee, redo their work or change their decisions too often. If you train your people, why interfere? You cannot expect to be successful if you pass out authority and then take it back.
For example, you tell your best receptionist, "You are now in charge of the entire waiting area and all of the receptionists' scheduling." The new reception manager then takes over and posts a new schedule . . . but you don't like it. There is nothing really wrong with the schedule, but you would prefer a different arrangement.
If you are a stupid executive, you will change the schedule. If you are a smart executive, you will leave the schedule alone. You might make a private suggestion. But if possible, you wait and see how it goes. If the new manager's decision is even close to being correct, you must leave it alone.
You succeed as an executive when you delegate the entire job and let the person get on with it. You give staff members the room to make mistakes, fix their mistakes and learn from their mistakes.
You support their decisions. You help them when they need help, but you don't interfere with the territory you give to them.
Ten Benefits of Delegating Power
1. You can use your time for the most valuable work possible.
2. You reduce your workload.
3. You can focus on increasing the productivity and income for your group.
4. People like to work for you as you give them new challenges and new opportunities.
5. You get more done with less effort.
6. Everyone in your group shows more responsibility.
7. Higher morale for everyone.
8. Your income goes up.
9. The pay of the members of your group goes up.
10. You reach your goals and your group's goals in less time.
Recommendations for Executives (includes business owners, managers and bosses of all types)
1. Make a list of every job you are currently doing yourself.
2. Rate each job according to difficulty. For example, put a 1 by the easiest jobs and a 5 by the hardest jobs. Rate every job from 1-5.
3. Decide who can take over which jobs. Put their name next to the job you will be delegating. You will delegate the easiest jobs first. If you do not currently have a person to take over some of your jobs, use "future" names, such as "Future Marketing Director" or "Future Executive Director."
4. Delegate each job as fast as possible. As long as the people are trained and know what they are doing, leave them alone.
5. With your free time, focus on the big picture; new goals, new territory, new operations and greater success for you and your organization.
If You are Not Yet An Executive . . .
. . . you soon will be if you do the following:
1. Look for opportunities to take on more responsibility. Grab every bit you can. Do not worry about extra pay at this point.
2. When you get a duty assigned to you, get the entire duty assigned. "So if I take on this job, can I make all the related decisions? If I want to try a new approach, can I just go ahead? How should I report my progress to you?"
3. If your boss tries to take back some of the responsibility, bring it up as soon as possible. "Am I still in charge of this duty? If you want to take it back, that is fine with me, I just need to know. If you are really delegating it to me, I'll need to have full authority over it which means you won't step in without talking to me first. Is that okay?"
4. As soon as you can, start to delegate duties to people below you so you can take on even more responsibility.
You are now an executive!
Answer: Delegating power to employees who might fail.
Only courageous leaders are able to pass down authority, decision-making power and responsibility to those below them. They do this despite the incompetence, inability and inexperience of their people.
History is filled with leaders who could not lead. L. Ron Hubbard uses a South American leader, Simon Bolivar, as an example of how extraordinary people can fail as executives.
Simon Bolivar successfully won the South American revolutionary war against Spain during the 1800's. After the war he was the richest, most powerful man in South America, but only for a brief period. Because of his mistakes, he was kicked out of his country and eventually, died broke.
Bolivar made the same mistake most failed executives make. He could not delegate power.
"Brave beyond any general in history on the battlefield, the Andes or in torrential rivers, he [Simon Bolivar] did not really have the bravery needed to trust inferior minds and stand by their often shocking blunders. He feared their blunders. So he did not dare unleash his many willing hounds.
"He could lead men, make men feel wonderful, make men fight and lay down their lives after hardships no army elsewhere in the world had ever faced before or since. But he could not use men even when they were begging to be used."
"If you have power, use it or delegate it or you sure won't have it long." -- L. Ron Hubbard
You fail as an executive whenever you bypass an employee, redo their work or change their decisions too often. If you train your people, why interfere? You cannot expect to be successful if you pass out authority and then take it back.
For example, you tell your best receptionist, "You are now in charge of the entire waiting area and all of the receptionists' scheduling." The new reception manager then takes over and posts a new schedule . . . but you don't like it. There is nothing really wrong with the schedule, but you would prefer a different arrangement.
If you are a stupid executive, you will change the schedule. If you are a smart executive, you will leave the schedule alone. You might make a private suggestion. But if possible, you wait and see how it goes. If the new manager's decision is even close to being correct, you must leave it alone.
You succeed as an executive when you delegate the entire job and let the person get on with it. You give staff members the room to make mistakes, fix their mistakes and learn from their mistakes.
You support their decisions. You help them when they need help, but you don't interfere with the territory you give to them.
Ten Benefits of Delegating Power
1. You can use your time for the most valuable work possible.
2. You reduce your workload.
3. You can focus on increasing the productivity and income for your group.
4. People like to work for you as you give them new challenges and new opportunities.
5. You get more done with less effort.
6. Everyone in your group shows more responsibility.
7. Higher morale for everyone.
8. Your income goes up.
9. The pay of the members of your group goes up.
10. You reach your goals and your group's goals in less time.
Recommendations for Executives (includes business owners, managers and bosses of all types)
1. Make a list of every job you are currently doing yourself.
2. Rate each job according to difficulty. For example, put a 1 by the easiest jobs and a 5 by the hardest jobs. Rate every job from 1-5.
3. Decide who can take over which jobs. Put their name next to the job you will be delegating. You will delegate the easiest jobs first. If you do not currently have a person to take over some of your jobs, use "future" names, such as "Future Marketing Director" or "Future Executive Director."
4. Delegate each job as fast as possible. As long as the people are trained and know what they are doing, leave them alone.
5. With your free time, focus on the big picture; new goals, new territory, new operations and greater success for you and your organization.
If You are Not Yet An Executive . . .
. . . you soon will be if you do the following:
1. Look for opportunities to take on more responsibility. Grab every bit you can. Do not worry about extra pay at this point.
2. When you get a duty assigned to you, get the entire duty assigned. "So if I take on this job, can I make all the related decisions? If I want to try a new approach, can I just go ahead? How should I report my progress to you?"
3. If your boss tries to take back some of the responsibility, bring it up as soon as possible. "Am I still in charge of this duty? If you want to take it back, that is fine with me, I just need to know. If you are really delegating it to me, I'll need to have full authority over it which means you won't step in without talking to me first. Is that okay?"
4. As soon as you can, start to delegate duties to people below you so you can take on even more responsibility.
You are now an executive!
Five Tips to Help Children Succeed
Raising
kids is a difficult, yet important task. You can add a happy and
valuable member to our world or create an unhappy problem for
the world to handle. These five tips will help you.
Even if you are not currently raising children, they are a big part of your future. Today's children are tomorrow's parents and leaders. You can improve our future by helping parents raise their kids with these five tips.
The following five quotes are from The Way to Happiness by L. Ron Hubbard.
1. "What does have a workability is simply to try to be the child's friend. It is certainly true that a child needs friends."
Who were the adults in your own childhood? Who were your favorite relatives? Your favorite leaders, sports coaches or teachers? If you smile at the memory, they probably treated you like a friend, not a child.
2. "Try to find out what a child's problem really is and without crushing their own solutions, try to help solve them."
A child is a regular person in a small body. You don't own a child. He or she is starting to think. If you encourage them to solve problems, you are building their confidence.
For example, asking the right questions is often more valuable to people than giving out answers. "Why are you crying? Why was he mean to you? What do you want to do about it? Okay. What might be a better way to solve it?"
3. "Observe them--and this applies even to babies. Listen to what children tell you about their lives."
For example, you might observe a baby calms down when a football game is on the television. You may discover your three-year-old gets excited when painting flowers. An eight-year-old may give you a great idea that you've never considered.
4. "Let them help-if you don't, they become overwhelmed with a sense of obligation which they then must repress." (Repress = hold back.)
How do you feel if someone gives you money or favors, but refuses to let you return the favor in any way? Perhaps you feel worthless as you have nothing valuable to give to that person. If you are not allowed to help the person back, you'll soon dislike or distrust the person and refuse all future gifts.
"If you fold the napkins, it would really help me." "I'll give you an allowance if you take care of all the garbage for the house." "I'll feel better if you sing a song for me."
5. "A child factually does not do well without love. Most children have an abundance of it to return."
Even if you are not currently raising children, they are a big part of your future. Today's children are tomorrow's parents and leaders. You can improve our future by helping parents raise their kids with these five tips.
The following five quotes are from The Way to Happiness by L. Ron Hubbard.
1. "What does have a workability is simply to try to be the child's friend. It is certainly true that a child needs friends."
Who were the adults in your own childhood? Who were your favorite relatives? Your favorite leaders, sports coaches or teachers? If you smile at the memory, they probably treated you like a friend, not a child.
2. "Try to find out what a child's problem really is and without crushing their own solutions, try to help solve them."
A child is a regular person in a small body. You don't own a child. He or she is starting to think. If you encourage them to solve problems, you are building their confidence.
For example, asking the right questions is often more valuable to people than giving out answers. "Why are you crying? Why was he mean to you? What do you want to do about it? Okay. What might be a better way to solve it?"
3. "Observe them--and this applies even to babies. Listen to what children tell you about their lives."
For example, you might observe a baby calms down when a football game is on the television. You may discover your three-year-old gets excited when painting flowers. An eight-year-old may give you a great idea that you've never considered.
4. "Let them help-if you don't, they become overwhelmed with a sense of obligation which they then must repress." (Repress = hold back.)
How do you feel if someone gives you money or favors, but refuses to let you return the favor in any way? Perhaps you feel worthless as you have nothing valuable to give to that person. If you are not allowed to help the person back, you'll soon dislike or distrust the person and refuse all future gifts.
"If you fold the napkins, it would really help me." "I'll give you an allowance if you take care of all the garbage for the house." "I'll feel better if you sing a song for me."
5. "A child factually does not do well without love. Most children have an abundance of it to return."
How to Stop Worrying
One of the most stressful aspects of managing your life, job or business is SURPRISES.
For example, you are going along, believing everything is fine, then WHAM! Your son gets arrested. Your neighbor cuts down your tree. Your car is stolen.
Any job can include surprising catastrophes. You get demoted or transferred. Your co-worker falsely accuses you of theft. Your boss screams at you.
Management surprises can be the most stressful of all. A key employee suddenly quits. A government agent walks in to do an inspection. Some crazy guy screams at your receptionist and won't leave.
Odds are good you will get hit with several surprises in your life. As a result, your forward progress can be stopped. Your production can be blocked. Your success can be ruined.
Even worse, the more successful you are, or the bigger your business becomes, the more often you might be hit with surprises.
Bad Solutions
You might be so afraid of catastrophes that you take them too seriously. You decide to stop succeeding. To earn less money. To be less aggressive, less intense or less passionate.
You believe that if you are small and insignificant, people will leave you alone. Of course, they just hunt you down.
Another bad approach is to get upset when a catastrophe occurs. You act like a victim or a coward. Yet this often makes the problem even worse. You do and say the wrong things and get hit with more surprises.
Getting numb is another bad idea. You might want to use drugs or alcohol to deaden your feelings. You try to turn off the world. But this also hurts your success as you need to clearly perceive the world around you if you wish to succeed.
Constantly worrying about surprises is another bad solution as it makes life miserable. Instead of focusing on opportunities and good results, you worry. You spend too much time thinking about problems and potential catastrophes that might happen to you.
Luckily, you can reduce your stress and worry with a little planning.
Surprise Insurance
"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Your best insurance is to predict and plan for catastrophes IN ADVANCE. Once you have a plan for handling every conceivable surprise, you can relax.
For example, you are worried you'll be in trouble with your boss because you would not wash his wife's car. You plan a positive response. "I hope I didn't offend your wife, but knew I should check with you before stopping my work to wash her car." Because you are prepared, you stop worrying. The boss never says anything about it.
When you have a plan for a disaster, you are ready for it. Instead of reacting to the problem, while upset and prone to making mistakes, you take command of the situation. You resolve it with your plan. Your prosperity continues.
For example, as a boss, you learn a former employee is suing you. If you planned for this possibility in advance, you would know exactly what to do. Your paperwork would be filed and organized. Your lawyer would send a copy of your paperwork to the employee's attorney. The employee's attorney would see you had done everything right and drop the case.
As another example, you can't sleep because you MUST get to work on time to give a presentation. So instead of tossing and turning in your bed, you turn on the lights. You write down every reason you might be late. You plan how to handle each. You set two alarm clocks and a wind-up alarm in case the power goes out. You figure out another way to get to work in case your car won't start. You lay out your clothes and set up your coffee maker. You are now prepared! You get in bed and instantly fall asleep.
The same principle works on a personal level. For example, Joe is worried his wife will be angry when she finds out he quit his job. He works out the best way to explain it to her so she can understand his reasons. Joe stops worrying and drives home. When he first gives her the news, he is ready for a bad reaction, but she is fine. Because he planned for a catastrophe, it does not happen.
Recommendation
Make a list of all the catastrophes you expect may happen to you. Include everything that makes you worry. Small things, big things, anything you can think of.
Next to each item on your list, write up a plan to handle it. Some potential catastrophes require a single preparation stop. Others need a detailed, 20-step plan.
As you do this exercise, you may feel uncomfortable and nervous. Just keep working on it. As you plan out more solutions and get prepared, you will feel more relaxed and confident than ever before. You become ready for anything!
After you finish, you will probably think of more things to add to your list. So keep it handy.
In fact, each time you feel stressed or worried about a potential problem, add the potential surprise to your list. If it's already on the list, simply add more preparation steps until you are no longer worried.
Review the list every few months. When you review old solutions, you think of new preventive steps and better solutions.
Biggest Benefit
"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard
That's right! Because you have planned for these surprises, they won't happen to you.
Give it a try!
For example, you are going along, believing everything is fine, then WHAM! Your son gets arrested. Your neighbor cuts down your tree. Your car is stolen.
Any job can include surprising catastrophes. You get demoted or transferred. Your co-worker falsely accuses you of theft. Your boss screams at you.
Management surprises can be the most stressful of all. A key employee suddenly quits. A government agent walks in to do an inspection. Some crazy guy screams at your receptionist and won't leave.
Odds are good you will get hit with several surprises in your life. As a result, your forward progress can be stopped. Your production can be blocked. Your success can be ruined.
Even worse, the more successful you are, or the bigger your business becomes, the more often you might be hit with surprises.
Bad Solutions
You might be so afraid of catastrophes that you take them too seriously. You decide to stop succeeding. To earn less money. To be less aggressive, less intense or less passionate.
You believe that if you are small and insignificant, people will leave you alone. Of course, they just hunt you down.
Another bad approach is to get upset when a catastrophe occurs. You act like a victim or a coward. Yet this often makes the problem even worse. You do and say the wrong things and get hit with more surprises.
Getting numb is another bad idea. You might want to use drugs or alcohol to deaden your feelings. You try to turn off the world. But this also hurts your success as you need to clearly perceive the world around you if you wish to succeed.
Constantly worrying about surprises is another bad solution as it makes life miserable. Instead of focusing on opportunities and good results, you worry. You spend too much time thinking about problems and potential catastrophes that might happen to you.
Luckily, you can reduce your stress and worry with a little planning.
Surprise Insurance
"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Your best insurance is to predict and plan for catastrophes IN ADVANCE. Once you have a plan for handling every conceivable surprise, you can relax.
For example, you are worried you'll be in trouble with your boss because you would not wash his wife's car. You plan a positive response. "I hope I didn't offend your wife, but knew I should check with you before stopping my work to wash her car." Because you are prepared, you stop worrying. The boss never says anything about it.
When you have a plan for a disaster, you are ready for it. Instead of reacting to the problem, while upset and prone to making mistakes, you take command of the situation. You resolve it with your plan. Your prosperity continues.
For example, as a boss, you learn a former employee is suing you. If you planned for this possibility in advance, you would know exactly what to do. Your paperwork would be filed and organized. Your lawyer would send a copy of your paperwork to the employee's attorney. The employee's attorney would see you had done everything right and drop the case.
As another example, you can't sleep because you MUST get to work on time to give a presentation. So instead of tossing and turning in your bed, you turn on the lights. You write down every reason you might be late. You plan how to handle each. You set two alarm clocks and a wind-up alarm in case the power goes out. You figure out another way to get to work in case your car won't start. You lay out your clothes and set up your coffee maker. You are now prepared! You get in bed and instantly fall asleep.
The same principle works on a personal level. For example, Joe is worried his wife will be angry when she finds out he quit his job. He works out the best way to explain it to her so she can understand his reasons. Joe stops worrying and drives home. When he first gives her the news, he is ready for a bad reaction, but she is fine. Because he planned for a catastrophe, it does not happen.
Recommendation
Make a list of all the catastrophes you expect may happen to you. Include everything that makes you worry. Small things, big things, anything you can think of.
Next to each item on your list, write up a plan to handle it. Some potential catastrophes require a single preparation stop. Others need a detailed, 20-step plan.
As you do this exercise, you may feel uncomfortable and nervous. Just keep working on it. As you plan out more solutions and get prepared, you will feel more relaxed and confident than ever before. You become ready for anything!
After you finish, you will probably think of more things to add to your list. So keep it handy.
In fact, each time you feel stressed or worried about a potential problem, add the potential surprise to your list. If it's already on the list, simply add more preparation steps until you are no longer worried.
Review the list every few months. When you review old solutions, you think of new preventive steps and better solutions.
Biggest Benefit
"A catastrophe occurs by lack of prediction of a possible circumstance. Those things planned for do not become catastrophes." -- L. Ron Hubbard
That's right! Because you have planned for these surprises, they won't happen to you.
Give it a try!
How to Be a Great Person
Religious
leaders may disagree about many things, but they all have one
message in common. They all recommend you do one important thing
in your life. You hear this same message in every religion on
Earth, especially during the holidays.
You might find this recommendation difficult to follow. For some people, it's nearly impossible to live this way. However, when you use this advice, you earn the most wonderful gifts available to you.
Not only does this advice make you happy, it lowers your stress and boosts your intelligence. You face difficult situations with less fear. You love everyone around you.
What Is Greatness?
"The hardest task one can have is to continue to love his fellows despite all reasons he should not."
"For the one who can achieve this, there is abundant hope.
"For those who cannot, there is only sorrow, hatred and despair. And these are not the things of which greatness, or sanity or happiness are made.
"A primary trap is to succumb to invitations to hate.
"Never use what is done to one as a basis for hatred. Never desire revenge.
"It requires real strength to love man*. And to love him despite all invitations to do otherwise, all provocations and all reasons why one should not.
"Happiness and strength endure only in the absence of hate. To hate alone is the road to disaster. To love is the road to strength. To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*Man: mankind; the human race.)
Examples
1. As soon as you arrive at your family's party, your stomach twists when you see your Aunt Jane. Ever since you were young, Aunt Jane has criticized you. "Well, managing a shoe store is fine, but I thought you'd be a successful doctor, like your father." "I was completely surprised to see your daughter's eyes are blue since you and your wife have brown eyes."
If you had known Aunt Jane would be at the family gathering, you would have found a good excuse to miss it. You want to leave, but then she sees you. "There you are! Have you been avoiding me?"
You decide to be a great person and love your Aunt Jane despite all reasons you should not. As you hug her, you notice she is now in her 70's. You suddenly realize she hasn't criticized you for more than 20 years. You are surprised to find you actually do love her.
2. You are driving down the road enjoying some music and some idiot cuts in front of you. You slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. You send him a mental curse and hope he has a rotten life.
You notice you feel rotten. You blame the other driver and start driving recklessly.
So you decide to be great. You try to love the driver, but the best you can do is find a little understanding. You think, "He must be late for work." You wish him well.
Within seconds, you feel better and forget about it. You go back to enjoying your music.
3. A few years ago, you and your friend Peter bought a delivery van. He used it during the day to make deliveries from his flower shop and you used it at night to deliver newspapers.
When going to work one night, you notice the van is missing. You call Peter who says, "Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you that I sort of rented it to this guy. I mean, uh, well, I sold it because I had to pay off some bills. I think you owe me some money anyway, so I think we should call it even."
You can't believe he has done this to you. You yell at him and vow to never speak to him again. You jump in your car and spend all night moving newspapers.
You plot revenge in several ways. You'll spray paint his flower shop windows. You'll steal his car. You'll spread rumors about him.
Every time you think about Peter and the van, you get upset. Even two years later, you feel the hatred whenever you see a similar van. You are not pleasant to be around.
You decide to be a great person and love Peter despite all reasons you should not. Aftera few days, you decide to him.
Peter says, "I'm so glad you called! I'm sorry about the van! I've regretted selling it for years now."
You say, "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry too. Let's go fishing one of these days, okay?"
The van memory stops hurting you. People like being around you again. You feel great!
Five Recommendations for Becoming a Greater Person
1. Love everyone around you. People in your family, neighborhood, workplace, everyone. Love them for no reason.
2. Whenever someone tries to get you to hate him or her, refuse to play the game. Instead, generate some love for the person, even if only a small amount.
3. Make yourself mentally tougher by loving people, even your enemies. You can certainly love people without letting them control you. In fact, it's easier to face and handle difficult people if you love them.
4. Eliminate revenge as a purpose in your life. Who do you want to get even with? Change that intention into something positive.
5. Make yourself happier by loving people. Whenever you feel depressed (sorrow) or a loss of hope (despair), find someone to love. You don't even need to see or talk to the person, just love him or her.
"To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. -- L. Ron Hubbard
You might find this recommendation difficult to follow. For some people, it's nearly impossible to live this way. However, when you use this advice, you earn the most wonderful gifts available to you.
Not only does this advice make you happy, it lowers your stress and boosts your intelligence. You face difficult situations with less fear. You love everyone around you.
What Is Greatness?
"The hardest task one can have is to continue to love his fellows despite all reasons he should not."
"For the one who can achieve this, there is abundant hope.
"For those who cannot, there is only sorrow, hatred and despair. And these are not the things of which greatness, or sanity or happiness are made.
"A primary trap is to succumb to invitations to hate.
"Never use what is done to one as a basis for hatred. Never desire revenge.
"It requires real strength to love man*. And to love him despite all invitations to do otherwise, all provocations and all reasons why one should not.
"Happiness and strength endure only in the absence of hate. To hate alone is the road to disaster. To love is the road to strength. To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*Man: mankind; the human race.)
Examples
1. As soon as you arrive at your family's party, your stomach twists when you see your Aunt Jane. Ever since you were young, Aunt Jane has criticized you. "Well, managing a shoe store is fine, but I thought you'd be a successful doctor, like your father." "I was completely surprised to see your daughter's eyes are blue since you and your wife have brown eyes."
If you had known Aunt Jane would be at the family gathering, you would have found a good excuse to miss it. You want to leave, but then she sees you. "There you are! Have you been avoiding me?"
You decide to be a great person and love your Aunt Jane despite all reasons you should not. As you hug her, you notice she is now in her 70's. You suddenly realize she hasn't criticized you for more than 20 years. You are surprised to find you actually do love her.
2. You are driving down the road enjoying some music and some idiot cuts in front of you. You slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. You send him a mental curse and hope he has a rotten life.
You notice you feel rotten. You blame the other driver and start driving recklessly.
So you decide to be great. You try to love the driver, but the best you can do is find a little understanding. You think, "He must be late for work." You wish him well.
Within seconds, you feel better and forget about it. You go back to enjoying your music.
3. A few years ago, you and your friend Peter bought a delivery van. He used it during the day to make deliveries from his flower shop and you used it at night to deliver newspapers.
When going to work one night, you notice the van is missing. You call Peter who says, "Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you that I sort of rented it to this guy. I mean, uh, well, I sold it because I had to pay off some bills. I think you owe me some money anyway, so I think we should call it even."
You can't believe he has done this to you. You yell at him and vow to never speak to him again. You jump in your car and spend all night moving newspapers.
You plot revenge in several ways. You'll spray paint his flower shop windows. You'll steal his car. You'll spread rumors about him.
Every time you think about Peter and the van, you get upset. Even two years later, you feel the hatred whenever you see a similar van. You are not pleasant to be around.
You decide to be a great person and love Peter despite all reasons you should not. Aftera few days, you decide to him.
Peter says, "I'm so glad you called! I'm sorry about the van! I've regretted selling it for years now."
You say, "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry too. Let's go fishing one of these days, okay?"
The van memory stops hurting you. People like being around you again. You feel great!
Five Recommendations for Becoming a Greater Person
1. Love everyone around you. People in your family, neighborhood, workplace, everyone. Love them for no reason.
2. Whenever someone tries to get you to hate him or her, refuse to play the game. Instead, generate some love for the person, even if only a small amount.
3. Make yourself mentally tougher by loving people, even your enemies. You can certainly love people without letting them control you. In fact, it's easier to face and handle difficult people if you love them.
4. Eliminate revenge as a purpose in your life. Who do you want to get even with? Change that intention into something positive.
5. Make yourself happier by loving people. Whenever you feel depressed (sorrow) or a loss of hope (despair), find someone to love. You don't even need to see or talk to the person, just love him or her.
"To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. -- L. Ron Hubbard
Lighten Up!
For
many of us, December is the most stressful month of the year.
The weather is cold, the roads and stores are crowded and you have a
lot to do.
Each day you face serious burdens. Maybe you don't make enough money. Perhaps your love life is non-existent. Your work might be unbearable.
Perhaps you dislike where you live. Your coworkers are unfriendly. You do things you regret.
If you finally decide to do something about it, what do you do?
Move to a new town? Leave your spouse? Look for a new job?
Maybe you just watch more television or drink a little more wine.
But the drudgeries or burdens always return. Life seems pretty serious.
Fortunately, you can do something right now that will change everything.
"When a man loses his Spirit of Play, he's dead." "... a guy will tell you, 'Well, I had some illusions when I was a kid, but I've lost all those. I'm practical now. We've got to face this thing practically, and what we are doing here is very serious.'"
"You want to know what seriousness is? Seriousness is solidity. You ever hear of a 'solid citizen?'
"There's nothing that succeeds like insouciance*. Plain flippancy** will actually get more done in less time than anything else you can name."
"And the more seriously you take the game, the less chance there is of winning."-- L. Ron Hubbard (*Insouciance: Lack of concern, carefree.) (**Flippancy: casualness, disrespectful joy.)
Benefits
When you take things less seriously and fire up your Spirit of Play, you enjoy several benefits.
● You get more done with less effort.
● You think of new solutions that are simple and effective.
● People enjoy being around you.
● You feel healthier and more alive.
● You get more cooperation and support from others
● You have more fun.
So how do you take the game of life less seriously? How can you get more insouciant or flippant?
Recommendations
If you are in good mental shape, simply reminding yourself to lighten up can switch you from a serious mood to a light and carefree mood.
For example, you are stuck in a long traffic line waiting to get into a parking lot. You get into the parking lot and can't find a place to park. Instead of driving around giving people dirty looks, you decide to lighten up. "Why am I getting so serious about a parking space! I'll park down the street and get in some exercise."
As another example, your car breaks down. You get mad at yourself for not taking better care of it. You then criticize yourself for not making enough money. You feel like smashing your car with a hammer. Instead you say, "I'm getting too serious here! When I'm rich and successful, this will be really funny." You laugh and get your car fixed.
Another example: You and your spouse are not talking. You disagreed about something, had an argument and got very serious. You decide, "We need to lighten up!" So you act silly or tell jokes until you and your spouse laugh.
Your Spirit of Play can make or break your business or career. If you get serious, you not only feel lousy, you make others lose the joy of work. Your days drag by and you look for ways to quit. You lose more often than you win.
If you stop taking your job so seriously, you and those around you make better decisions. Your days fly by as you get more done. You win the game.
Each day you face serious burdens. Maybe you don't make enough money. Perhaps your love life is non-existent. Your work might be unbearable.
Perhaps you dislike where you live. Your coworkers are unfriendly. You do things you regret.
If you finally decide to do something about it, what do you do?
Move to a new town? Leave your spouse? Look for a new job?
Maybe you just watch more television or drink a little more wine.
But the drudgeries or burdens always return. Life seems pretty serious.
Fortunately, you can do something right now that will change everything.
"When a man loses his Spirit of Play, he's dead." "... a guy will tell you, 'Well, I had some illusions when I was a kid, but I've lost all those. I'm practical now. We've got to face this thing practically, and what we are doing here is very serious.'"
"You want to know what seriousness is? Seriousness is solidity. You ever hear of a 'solid citizen?'
"There's nothing that succeeds like insouciance*. Plain flippancy** will actually get more done in less time than anything else you can name."
"And the more seriously you take the game, the less chance there is of winning."-- L. Ron Hubbard (*Insouciance: Lack of concern, carefree.) (**Flippancy: casualness, disrespectful joy.)
Benefits
When you take things less seriously and fire up your Spirit of Play, you enjoy several benefits.
● You get more done with less effort.
● You think of new solutions that are simple and effective.
● People enjoy being around you.
● You feel healthier and more alive.
● You get more cooperation and support from others
● You have more fun.
So how do you take the game of life less seriously? How can you get more insouciant or flippant?
Recommendations
If you are in good mental shape, simply reminding yourself to lighten up can switch you from a serious mood to a light and carefree mood.
For example, you are stuck in a long traffic line waiting to get into a parking lot. You get into the parking lot and can't find a place to park. Instead of driving around giving people dirty looks, you decide to lighten up. "Why am I getting so serious about a parking space! I'll park down the street and get in some exercise."
As another example, your car breaks down. You get mad at yourself for not taking better care of it. You then criticize yourself for not making enough money. You feel like smashing your car with a hammer. Instead you say, "I'm getting too serious here! When I'm rich and successful, this will be really funny." You laugh and get your car fixed.
Another example: You and your spouse are not talking. You disagreed about something, had an argument and got very serious. You decide, "We need to lighten up!" So you act silly or tell jokes until you and your spouse laugh.
Your Spirit of Play can make or break your business or career. If you get serious, you not only feel lousy, you make others lose the joy of work. Your days drag by and you look for ways to quit. You lose more often than you win.
If you stop taking your job so seriously, you and those around you make better decisions. Your days fly by as you get more done. You win the game.
No Means No!
Is it easier for you to say "yes" or "no"?
If you are like most people, "no" is a difficult word to use. Saying "no" is like telling someone they are bad or wrong. "No" seems to mean you reject them.
However, if you can't say "no," you will have many difficulties.
Financial Uses for "No"
You cannot build wealth if you cannot say "no."
For example, if you manage finances for a business or organization, you probably know how often people try to get you to say "yes." Yet if you agree to every financial request, your group will soon go broke.
"It is up to a financial manager to be very, very, very tough and to learn how to say no, no, no, no. In fact, it would be a very good thing if he stood in front of a mirror for ten or fifteen minutes a day saying `no.'" -- L. Ron Hubbard
If you are the financial manager for a business or group, you must say "no" for the sake of your organization.
Even if you do not manage a group's finances, you ARE the financial manager of your personal finances. You also need to learn to say "no." If you cannot say "no," you never build any wealth.
Time Uses for "No"
Like money, your time must be used wisely to build your success. In fact, your time is your most valuable resource and must be spent wisely. Yet your decisions may not always be popular with others.
You've probably heard statements like these:
"To get along, you need to go along."
"If you like me, you'll say yes."
"Work with me here and don't rock the boat!"
To move ahead, you MUST say "no" to non-productive activities.
"No, sorry, I don't want to get drunk tonight."
"I'd love to watch TV, but no, I'm going to study."
"Do I want to slow down and wait? Nope!"Personal Uses for "No"
The most difficult person to say "no" to is yourself. However, like starting yourself and changing yourself, self-control requires you to stop yourself.
Breaking a bad habit is simply a matter of saying "no."
"No, sorry, I won't eat that box of chocolate donuts."
"No, I will not use my credit card to buy that new stereo system."
"No, I don't smoke now."
Telling yourself "no" is also essential to your success.
"No, it's not time to quit working and go home."
"No, this job is not perfect yet."
"No, I WILL reach my goals."
Recommendations
1. Write down situations when you should say "no" regarding money.
2. Write down instances when you should say "no" regarding time.
3. Write down examples when you should say "no" regarding your personal habits.
4. Say "no" to a mirror for ten or fifteen minutes.
5. Say "no" to yourself and others in every situation listed above. Say "no" to weakness, failure and waste.
6. If you say "yes" or "maybe" when you should say "no," repeat L. Ron Hubbard's advice and say "no" to a mirror for ten or fifteen more minutes.
If you are like most people, "no" is a difficult word to use. Saying "no" is like telling someone they are bad or wrong. "No" seems to mean you reject them.
However, if you can't say "no," you will have many difficulties.
Financial Uses for "No"
You cannot build wealth if you cannot say "no."
For example, if you manage finances for a business or organization, you probably know how often people try to get you to say "yes." Yet if you agree to every financial request, your group will soon go broke.
"It is up to a financial manager to be very, very, very tough and to learn how to say no, no, no, no. In fact, it would be a very good thing if he stood in front of a mirror for ten or fifteen minutes a day saying `no.'" -- L. Ron Hubbard
If you are the financial manager for a business or group, you must say "no" for the sake of your organization.
Even if you do not manage a group's finances, you ARE the financial manager of your personal finances. You also need to learn to say "no." If you cannot say "no," you never build any wealth.
Time Uses for "No"
Like money, your time must be used wisely to build your success. In fact, your time is your most valuable resource and must be spent wisely. Yet your decisions may not always be popular with others.
You've probably heard statements like these:
"To get along, you need to go along."
"If you like me, you'll say yes."
"Work with me here and don't rock the boat!"
To move ahead, you MUST say "no" to non-productive activities.
"No, sorry, I don't want to get drunk tonight."
"I'd love to watch TV, but no, I'm going to study."
"Do I want to slow down and wait? Nope!"Personal Uses for "No"
The most difficult person to say "no" to is yourself. However, like starting yourself and changing yourself, self-control requires you to stop yourself.
Breaking a bad habit is simply a matter of saying "no."
"No, sorry, I won't eat that box of chocolate donuts."
"No, I will not use my credit card to buy that new stereo system."
"No, I don't smoke now."
Telling yourself "no" is also essential to your success.
"No, it's not time to quit working and go home."
"No, this job is not perfect yet."
"No, I WILL reach my goals."
Recommendations
1. Write down situations when you should say "no" regarding money.
2. Write down instances when you should say "no" regarding time.
3. Write down examples when you should say "no" regarding your personal habits.
4. Say "no" to a mirror for ten or fifteen minutes.
5. Say "no" to yourself and others in every situation listed above. Say "no" to weakness, failure and waste.
6. If you say "yes" or "maybe" when you should say "no," repeat L. Ron Hubbard's advice and say "no" to a mirror for ten or fifteen more minutes.
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