The story
is told of a father of five who came home with a toy; he summoned his
children and asked which one should be given the present. "Who is the most
obedient, never talks back to mom and does everything he or she is told to
do?" He inquired. There was silence, and then a chorus of voices:
"You can play with it daddy!"
Respect is a fast disappearing culture in this century even amongst families.
And it is worse amongst friends . It was Charles de Gaulle who
said, “There can be no prestige without mystery, for familiarity breeds
contempt.”
One of the top 3 destroyers of friendships anywhere in the world is
the Lack of Respect arising from over-familiarity. Jason Zebehazy
wrote, " Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and familiarity breeds
contempt. According to this my soulmate should be in Thailand.”
Unfortunately, our friends are not in Thailand or a hundred seas
away . In fact, most of our friends are very close-by, and
before you know it, we begin to take each other for granted. Gradually we begin
to erode the boundaries that defined the relationship in the first place (for
EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS DEFINED BY BOUNDARIES) and once that happens, the
relationship begins to suffer.
For instance, Anna messes up Anita's room and does not bother to fix it.
She uses the toilet and does not bother to clean it, wears Anita's clothes
and jewelries without permission, intrudes into her privacy at will, borrows
from her and does not return or pay back. Sometimes, Anna makes promises
with no intention of keeping them; she does not keep appointments and
completely disregards and abuses her time. Problem is, most often, we do
not value our friends until we loose them. Never take your friends for granted.
They are your greatest wealth.
Frankly, if you want to keep your friends then "show yourself
friendly". Respect and honour your friends. Look at what you've got and
make the best of it. It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
Richard David Bach said "The bond that links your true family is not one
of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.” One Persian Proverb
says “He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.” And Nelson Mandela concludes
“For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way
that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”
Wisdom Nugget: A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
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